tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post6515360943719942065..comments2023-09-04T21:36:48.170+10:00Comments on The Site Formally Known As: It's a nice day for a white weddingStubbadubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05333188150383405691noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-45764914085855486272010-05-14T16:59:30.938+10:002010-05-14T16:59:30.938+10:00La Nads?La Nads?Melbahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02257719342445833725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-43710533013721508492010-05-13T23:38:12.321+10:002010-05-13T23:38:12.321+10:00A friend of mine has just married... and changed h...A friend of mine has just married... and changed her last name to Cocks.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05933042391623566481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-24187955567550866122010-05-13T19:30:07.935+10:002010-05-13T19:30:07.935+10:00she decided that I should change my Anglicised Sur...<i>she decided that I should change my Anglicised Surname back to the ancient french spelling because "it sound more classy".</i><br /><br />Décharge?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-28635256625840988762010-05-13T11:39:47.183+10:002010-05-13T11:39:47.183+10:00I wonder what the Fucks and the Wankers did?
Roy...<i>I wonder what the Fucks and the Wankers did? </i><br /><br />Royalty and Politicians.patchouligirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14462983717621525841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-5088533584788051192010-05-13T11:22:01.484+10:002010-05-13T11:22:01.484+10:00My ex was a hyphenator. I was to be Husband Numbe...My ex was a hyphenator. I was to be Husband Number Three, which would have made her "Mrs E Nancy Catherine Nesbitt-Blalock-Harvey-Discharge".I argued that that would be impractical on the basis that she'd never get it all into that little signature square on the back of the credit card and that Europeans might mistake her for a Welsh Railway Station.<br /><br />Then I took her to meet the relatives in England and France. A very old family of which I'm the 87th Generation.<br /><br />After meeting the lord, the Marquis and a bunch of Complete Counts, all of whom I treat with a appropiately Australian level of distain, she wanted to know why I didn't have a title, and my cousin obliged by offering me a title that had been in the family but not used in 600 years, all I had to do was go to Brussels and fill out a "Form 27b - Application to be a Pompous Wanker". (My Australian Qualifications weren't recognised).<br /><br />Now she could be "Le Comptess E Nancy Catherine Nesbitt-Blalock-Harvey-Discharge". <br /><br />On returning to the states she decided that I should change my Anglicised Surname back to the ancient french spelling because "it sound more classy".<br /><br />I understand how you girls feel.Mr Ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09920080753047166402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-49825883193159507722010-05-12T21:26:52.175+10:002010-05-12T21:26:52.175+10:00And that is why I suspect my ancestors were depres...And that is why I suspect my ancestors were depressed peasants, Boogey.<br /><br />I think my stepfather's ancestors must have bred dogs.Puss In Bootshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14236191025319308375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-47151139779331420172010-05-12T21:23:59.923+10:002010-05-12T21:23:59.923+10:00Anyway, once upon a time, surnames denoted your oc...<i>Anyway, once upon a time, surnames denoted your occupation (ie. Baker baked bread, Miller made clothes, Collins built nuclear submarines)</i><br /><br />I wonder what the Fucks and the Wankers did?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-56312462733742775092010-05-12T21:17:10.689+10:002010-05-12T21:17:10.689+10:00Maybe a numbering system would be advantageous, Bo...<i>Maybe a numbering system would be advantageous, Boogey.</i><br /><br />I like the idea of having my wives adopt a SPECTRE style numbering system - Number One, Number Two, Number Three - it would probably be better received than a proposal that they change their names to Bond women such as Pussy Galore, Honey Rider, Holly Goodhead, etc.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-64203376746961896512010-05-12T21:01:06.451+10:002010-05-12T21:01:06.451+10:00It's a feminist issue only when there's a ...It's a feminist issue only when there's a lack of choice in the matter.<br /><br />Anyway, once upon a time, surnames denoted your occupation (ie. Baker baked bread, Miller made clothes, Collins built nuclear submarines), or if you were rich enough, the name of your lands (ie. York, Norfolk, Woodridge).<br /><br />A surname bonds a family group together, so there's little compelling logic to maintaining a patrilineal, matrilineal or quasilineal surname over many generations, unless you're rich and you get land or a title and stuff.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-72287905361403840582010-05-12T18:51:26.847+10:002010-05-12T18:51:26.847+10:00It wasn't your name, Alex. It was your eruditi...It wasn't your name, Alex. It was your erudition, and your scientific intelligence.<br /><br />Patch, I appreciate your honesty, but I would think if a man's going to have his feelings hurt or get snotty because I don't take his name, then he's not the man for me.<br /><br />My men need to be resilient, tough and thick-skinned. To cope with me.Melbahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02257719342445833725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-56633644550288258672010-05-12T18:43:28.253+10:002010-05-12T18:43:28.253+10:00It's not like I love either name, but they hav...<i>It's not like I love either name, but they have always been my names, they are mine, and I will die still with those names.</i><br /><br />Not that I've ever considered getting married, but I can agree with that sentiment.<br /><br /><i>Puss, both my names are tricky.</i><br /><br />Apparently, my name makes people think I'm a man.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-74764338520286134112010-05-12T18:09:44.802+10:002010-05-12T18:09:44.802+10:00Or because he'd assumed they would change thei...<i> Or because he'd assumed they would change their name and they didn't want to rock the boat </i> <br /><br />I think there was an element of that for me. Not that he would have said anything but it would have hurt his feelings. Plus I've had so many surnames anyway it wasn't a big deal for me. A change is like a holiday!patchouligirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14462983717621525841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-77343260878870104492010-05-12T17:51:15.432+10:002010-05-12T17:51:15.432+10:00I've always been known as Melba Opinionated. S...I've always been known as Melba Opinionated. So it just made sense to keep it, or indeed made absolutely no sense to change it. I am Melba. I am Ms Opinionated.<br /><br />I have a strong sense of self, , but it's not tied up in my name as such, more that my name is attached to me (rather than the other way around.) <br /><br />It's not like I love either name, but they have always been my names, they are mine, and I will die still with those names.<br /><br />I've always been suspect of those people who change from Jane to Aswanee as well. Or from Kaye to Kate because they just like it better.Melbahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02257719342445833725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-75588553598163156492010-05-12T17:14:18.147+10:002010-05-12T17:14:18.147+10:00Question for Melba - You say 'my name is me...Question for Melba - You say 'my name is me'. <br /><br />Does this mean that you feel that changing your name would make you less than yourself? Less 'you'? Is your sense of self really so strongly tied to your surname? A rose by any other, etc... <br /><br />I'm not having a go, I'm just curious as I can't say I have ever looked at it that way, so I find your view interesting.Giggleworthyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15124645941044215721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-69387325193688659832010-05-12T16:30:05.978+10:002010-05-12T16:30:05.978+10:00That's the spirit!That's the spirit!squibhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10744419106501810243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-69709277018521529042010-05-12T16:01:05.993+10:002010-05-12T16:01:05.993+10:00The Boy has my surname because my surname ROCKS!!!...The Boy has my surname because my surname ROCKS!!!Ramon Insertnameherehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07367002511826523517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-67598149411878236952010-05-12T15:58:50.503+10:002010-05-12T15:58:50.503+10:00Hi Puss, no that's a pen name. The invisible &...Hi Puss, no that's a pen name. The invisible 'e' was me being a bit pretentioussquibhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10744419106501810243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-70763001346530419652010-05-12T15:43:57.085+10:002010-05-12T15:43:57.085+10:00Yeah, I know. I wrote it while I was on the phone...Yeah, I know. I wrote it while I was on the phone and then accidentally hit publish before I had a chance to review it.<br /><br />Essentially, I just can't see that it's a feminist issue. I don't see what business it is of anyone else's, and I can't see that changing your name to your husband's (or your wife's, if you were so inclined) is really a statement of ownership. I would do it as part of the marriage ritual, as a show of loyalty/togetherness. I think it's a nice tradition.<br /><br />Is your name on the book you linked to? Because I didn't get the whole invisible e thing. It made me wonder how else I was supposed to pronounce it!Puss In Bootshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14236191025319308375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-8265253793358690732010-05-12T14:48:34.883+10:002010-05-12T14:48:34.883+10:00Puss, both my names are tricky. I've mentioned...Puss, both my names are tricky. I've mentioned this before but I say my name is Jo when I order food because no one can spell my name or pronounce it and they might be calling me for ages and I wouldn't know<br /><br />People keep mentioning what a hassle it is. I don't remember it being so although it was weird when we had to sign house ownership papers because I hadn't thought about a new signature so I made one up on the spot. It looks like the printout from a cardiograph when someone has just died<br /><br />But you do save time when you fill out 40 x-mas cards. Love from the Squibs. Nice and easy!squibhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10744419106501810243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-12753318431801566252010-05-12T14:22:35.832+10:002010-05-12T14:22:35.832+10:00Puss, your first sentence and your last paragraph ...Puss, your first sentence and your last paragraph don't really hang together.<br /><br />You're right, it is up to the individual and I never brought this issue up with any of my friends who changed their names. But it's been brought up in this forum so that's why I've felt free to express my opinions. I'm not bagging anyone here, really. I just don't get it.Melbahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02257719342445833725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-33243366399886993802010-05-12T13:50:14.945+10:002010-05-12T13:50:14.945+10:00I just can't see that it's a feminist issu...I just can't see that it's a feminist issue. Who cares what another woman does in her private life? It's not hurting anyone.<br /><br />Besides, I pity the men in this situation. What if they've got a crappy surname? What if they want to take their wife's name? I bet they'd get a lot of shit from their friends/family for that if they did. I think it should be more about personal identity than some feminist crap about not giving away your name. If a man wants to take his wife's name, he should be able to, and vice versa.<br /><br />I just see the name change as an extension of the marriage. Like a show of loyalty or uniformity or something. I'm aware of its history, but I think it's a nice idea.Puss In Bootshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14236191025319308375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-60089491245744650182010-05-12T13:46:01.642+10:002010-05-12T13:46:01.642+10:00I wish I had the option of a nice, easy to spell a...I wish I had the option of a nice, easy to spell and pronounce surname. Unfortunately, I think I am going to be cursed with always having to spell it out.<br /><br />I was born with a surname which had at least 2 spelling variations (and everyone always thought mine was the other one), then changed to a hyphenated name of that plus my mother's maiden name (which, although phoenetic, most people can't pronounce properly, or spell). Then I dropped my birth surname altogether. If I take the boy's name, I will have to spell it out too.<br /><br />I always said I'd marry a man with the last name of Smith. Sadly, I have never met any Smiths.Puss In Bootshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14236191025319308375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-37142453747001143702010-05-12T13:21:53.194+10:002010-05-12T13:21:53.194+10:00Hey squib. I didn't say it was worse to have t...Hey squib. I didn't say it was worse to have the husband's name than the father's. Just that there's (generally) no choice with the first, and there is with the latter.<br /><br />I also married a man from overseas but we never even had a conversation about me changing my name. My name is me, and to change it would have felt wrong, and old-fashioned and deferential to my husband, yes in a patriarchal way.<br /><br />My points were that I'm annoyed it still seems to be the default position; it's a hassle to change one's name so to do it means you must have solid reasons?; also I am continually surprised (and again here on this thread) at the number of women who change their names when they get married.<br /><br />And the message you have sent to me (aka society, but interpreted by myself, everyone will be different, sure) was that you had done the default thing.<br /><br />BUT your last two reasons esp the commo dictator one make sense to me, even though you've said them in jest.<br /><br />Really it does come down to personal choice, but I will make my assumptions/judgments, and most women who do change their names will get defensive. That seems to be the pattern.<br /><br />Interestingly, no one admits that it was to keep a man's nose from getting out of joint. Or because he'd assumed they would change their name and they didn't want to rock the boat. It's all about double-barrelled names for children or wanting to lose a bad maiden surname.Melbahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02257719342445833725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-847216967198557502010-05-12T13:16:02.432+10:002010-05-12T13:16:02.432+10:00She can simply stick with her married name EMS, a ...She can simply stick with her married name EMS, a lot of women do after a divorce.<br /><br />I've had four surnames in my life. My birth surname was "Puck". My family changed it to "Parker" before I went to school. I then married and got a third surname. Then I divorced and changed back to my maiden name (not the Puck one of course). When I married my second husband I did give the idea of staying with my surname some thought but in the end decided to change to his. We've been married for 7 years and I got used to the new surname pretty quickly. It's a "J" surname so pretty cool. <br /><br />The coolest surname I ever heard was one time I met this guy who said 'the lucky lady who marries me gets my surname'. His surname was Fox.patchouligirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14462983717621525841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949589573125647543.post-10549669627054448452010-05-12T11:09:07.635+10:002010-05-12T11:09:07.635+10:00the symbolic/real deference being paid to a man (n...<i>the symbolic/real deference being paid to a man (not to mention the message sent to society) when you take his name.</i><br /><br />Melba, so it's worse to have the name of the husband than of the father? I don't see why<br /><br />What message did I send? My mother raised me pretty much on her own. My husband left his large family and all his friends in Europe to come here. By adopting his name, I hope I made him feel at home. Besides, my maiden name belongs to a bunch of shitty-livered Melburnians who mostly don't speak to each other so what does their name mean to me? I think I wanted to turn over a new leaf and also I wanted a name that said "Communist dictator"<br /><br />I guess I am a bit Stepford wifey when it comes to children's parties. I was looking for a snowflake apron on Etsy to match the Narnia theme. That's insane, right?<br /><br />But I'm still a feminist. My name and my snow deer cupcakes don't change thatsquibhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10744419106501810243noreply@blogger.com