It's a joke, isn't it?
You're not really calling it that are you?
My friend said it tasted 'velvety' so she actually entered your competition with 'velvemite'. I said she wouldn't win because it sounded too much like 'vulvamite', so she put in a second entry, "Vegemite: Velvet".
Are you trying to tell me iSnack 2.0 beat that?
No.
Surely not.
Really?
Well, you're a cunt, Kraft.
Here's a list of names for your product that are better than iSnack 2.0
BVUFJS34ANVDS[ONJK
DEAD PUPPIES
CUNT YEAST
SMEGMAMITE
MICROSOFT
ZIMBABWE
WAKE ME UP (BEFORE YOU GO GO)
STAPLER
VEGEMITE II
SATAN WILL RISE
FRANK PENHALLURIC, THE REBEL TRADER
CDYSJQA[pvfjosp333
WHAT?
THE FRENCH REVOLUTION
NICE TITS
Change it. Now.
Next thing you know Apple will sue them.
ReplyDeleteBut yep, what the fuck were they thinking?
And I reckon Vulvamite is a great name. Sounds yummy to me.
Actually Wari, my friend argued that the fact it sounded like 'vulvamite' was a good thing, because people call vegemite 'vaginamite' anyway. She saw a pattern.
ReplyDeleteI like Smegmamite, and Vulvamite.
ReplyDeleteBut whatever it's called, it's an abomination and it won't be seeing the inside of my pantry.
THE FRENCH REVOLUTION
ReplyDeleteI'd buy that.
Or at least, I would if I didn't hate Vegemite.
Oh and in breaking news, they are changing it.
ReplyDelete"Kraft would hold an internet and phone poll this weekend to come up with a replacement name, using some of the most popular entries from among the almost 50,000 it received for the competition.
"Other entries included "Ruddymite", "Too Right Mite" and "Wow Chow", Mr O'Brien said."
Pers, memories of kids smutty jokes abound. Penis butter too I recall.
ReplyDeleteHi Melba, are you really that offended by it?
And Ramon, you hate Vegemite? Now that's (and I really hate this saying) UnAustralian.
If Ruddymite gets a run then I'm voting for Juliamite. Sounds like a super hero.
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, I wear my Julia badge once a week or so. People think I'm fucked in the head, but I don't care. And I give random prizes to people who recognise Darwin.
I love the taste of vegemite.
ReplyDeleteI tried this new stuff, and it tasted disgusting.
iSnack 2.0 is beyond lame with its lameness in the naming.
I always though Ruddy was more peanut butter than vegemite, and Jules is the strawberry jam.
Fannybag Snack seems appropriate for this abomination of a crappy tasting re-jigged spread that belongs in the toilet from a crappy sepo corp, but then again maybe Nice Tits seems more appropriate, cause then I can be doubly disgusted (insert winking emoticon here).
I think you might find that iSnack 2.0 was a marketing exercise to generate free publicity.
ReplyDeleteWorked a treat, too.
Ramon, take notes for the iKrudd 10.0 campaign.
Noted, Boogey.
ReplyDeleteWari, I've always hated the stuff.
Wari, I love Vegemite, but I wouldn't even want to try this one. I love Vegemite so much, maybe that's the problem, putting cheese with it. Even though I know Veg and cheese go beautifully together and will combine but I want to do that myself.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm not offended by it just stating that we won't be buying it and it won't be in our pantry [read glorified cupboard.]
I've always wanted a pantry. Walk in. Mmmmmmmm.
Did you leave me a weather reply somewhere Wari? I know I asked but I can't keep up with all these live-wire threads.
I won't be rushing to try it either Melba. I'm a bit of a traditionalist like that. How can you improve on perfection?
ReplyDeleteOvercast and humid today. I wish it would bloody rain. We need it.
Yes, vegemite with spreadable cheese does not offend me, but if people are discreet in their consumption of it, I won't mind.
ReplyDeleteMaybe they should market it with a modesty veil.
And call it No Boobs Mite.
You can have some of our rain.
ReplyDelete1 week to go here and what does it do? Drop a month's fucking rain in 12hrs! AND it was right in the middle of the AFL Grand Final so the satellite picture keep freezing due to the storm*.
I'm fine though thanks!
* May actually have been due to cars and dead animals floating past the satellite dish.
I'm coming your way next Saturday Fad. I've never been before, I hope the place isn't too trashed.
ReplyDeleteWari, I hate Vegemite too. And meat pies. And football. And Holdens and Fords. And cricket. And Cold Chisel.
ReplyDeleteAnd green beans. And the vaccuum cord sliding back in.
ReplyDelete**
I hate pumpkin, but that's not an Australian thing.
And water chestnuts. Fucking cunts.
I love squeezing vegemite between two crackers so it comes out through the holes and saying, 'Look at the little wormies!'
ReplyDeleteYou just reminded me of a stupid joke, Squib.
ReplyDeleteTwo astronauts land on Mars, and a Martian comes out from underground to meet them.
"What the fuck?" says the Martian, "Where are you from?"
"Earth," said the lead astronaut.
"You're kidding?" said the Martian, "I thought that was a barren, soul-less, Godless shithole full of dumb-arses, in the middle of fucking nowhere. Tell me, what's it really like?"
And the astronaut says, "Well, it's spherical, like your planet, but it's 70% ocean, and..."
"Oh, Earth," said the Martian, "Sorry, I thought you said Perth."
**
I'm going home now.
The joke would be funnier if 'Earth' rhymed with 'Adelaide'.
ReplyDeleteDepends on where you're headed Wari. We've got another Super Typhoon heading this way now, but it's supposed to head north and miss us. Unfortunately that's what they said about the last one.
ReplyDeleteI'm out for good next Thurs and am very happy about it!
For their new cheese and vegemite spread, they'll also have to come up with a new children's jingle:
ReplyDeleteCheese, cheese,
yeasty paste,
round the back's a Vegemite taste,
Dip your finger to keep a tally,
of all the boys down Vegemite Valley.
Promite is better than Vegimite.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, buy a jar and you will never go back.
I have converted a number of people.
The CEO's of both Arnotts and Kraft are cunts.
ReplyDeleteThere , I said it.
Every trip home results in disappointment at the changes made to my favourite biscuits and spreads.
First I noticed that Iced Vo Vo's had significantly less jam and icing and as for Honey Jumbles... less icing and the biscuit itself was thinner.
Fine corporate America, buy Australian companies but don't fuck with their products just to save a few nickels.
On this last trip the new Vegemite advertsising/ media saturation got into the brains of my two kids.
"Garn Mummy buy the new one.. it looks yummy"
I explained to them that I'm never going to taste the new one because,like drugs, I may be hooked and if I get hooked on it and if I'm addicted to the stuff I'll be screwed as we can't get it over in this hemisphere.
Fuckin stupid name for something that will obviously have the same lifespan of Pepsi Clear.. or was it Coke clear.
Anyway you get my point.
I used to love to scoop Vegemite onto a dessertspoon and slowly suck the stuff off. Mmmmmmmmm
Good one, Persey. I'll add it to my repertoire
ReplyDeletePromite, Dr Golf? What the fuck?
ReplyDeleteWagon Wheels are no way as big as they used to be either.
ReplyDeletePut the price up, reduce the size and change the packaging. It's everywhere.
If you beat Marmite it turns white.
ReplyDeleteSomething in that for all of us.
Wari, I hate Vegemite too. And meat pies. And football. And Holdens and Fords. And cricket. And Cold Chisel.
ReplyDeleteSorry Puss but now we'll have to cancel your Australian passport. Or do you have a PNG one?
I also hate meat pies, well the crappy mass produced ones with bits of gristle in them. Cake shop ones are normally ok. I make great ones too.
I like the rest of those things though. But I sort of went off Holdens when I owned a Commodore in my younger days that got stolen about 10 times.
Fad, we're doing the "boys own" trip. Angeles City for 4 days then Thailand for two weeks then back to Manila for another three days. My current girlfriend is not happy.
Vegemite is even more evil than peas.
ReplyDeleteOut of all the mites, I like Promite the best, then Marmite and lastly Vegemite.
But nothing beats Nutella. NOTHING.
Oh God. You like chocolate sandwiches EMS? I refsue to let the kids have it.
ReplyDeleteI hate chocolate.
I never really took to cheese and vegemite sandwiches until my 30's but I'm glad I finally understand the appeal. Its the best tucker for picnics and bushwalks. As a kid I loved golden syrup and still do.
ReplyDeleteHells yeah, Wari. Don't knock it till you've tried it.
ReplyDeleteone of the ladies at work recommends nutella and marshmallow jaffles
ReplyDeleteI know I'm a rare case EMS but I really don't like chocolate, or anything sweet for that matter. I don't eat dessert or cakes or anything.
ReplyDeleteI admit it's strange, my eldest daughter refuses to believe it. "Nobody doesn't like chocolate", she says. Is that bad English?
Angeles? Christ on a bike! I reckon there'll be plenty of Vulvamite there. Of note, it's home to the largest RSL outside of Australia(in membership terms), and was also, at its peak, home to 200 000 sex workers.
ReplyDeleteWell fuck me sideways. Vegemite is like Satan's excrement.
ReplyDeleteI'm going there to see the RSL club Fad.
ReplyDeleteAnd in other news, there is no Vegemite to be had in Port Moresby. Seriously, there are three major supermakets frequented by Expats and none of them has it in stock. So it looks like I'll be giving Promite a go.
Here's the latest on the iShite 69 from The Age:
ReplyDelete"It has almost 12 times the amount of saturated fat and three times the kilojoules a serve. It has half the protein of the original and less than half the amount of vitamin B. Oh, and there's more salt."
Nice work, Kraft.
Sorry Puss but now we'll have to cancel your Australian passport. Or do you have a PNG one?
ReplyDeleteNo, I have an Australian one. Although I hope to eventually have an EU one.
I went to see Julie and Julia last night (free tickets, drink and popcorn - why not?). I had immense France envy watching it. I wanted to be back in Europe so badly.
survey people got me on the phone yesterday polling public reaction to six new names which are all very very boring.
ReplyDeleteVegemite Vegimate, Vegemite Mild, Vegemite Smooth, Vegemite Snackmate, Vegemite Cheesybite, can't remember the other one.
I countered with youse offering of Ruddymite. Survey dude giggled and noted it down - said he hadn't heard that one yet.
Good work, MCL.
ReplyDeleteReally good work. We'll hit the mainstream yet.
ReplyDeleteThe best was Cheesymite but apparently its already trademarked by someone else. Perhaps Kraft should offer to buy it.
ReplyDeleteThe results are in.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's not Ruddymite.
I'm gutted.
Gutted.
the phillestines
ReplyDeletethey just don't have your vision
perhaps years from now they will turn bedeviled and sleepless in their beds over this missed opportunity
Thanks MCL.
ReplyDeleteAt least we tried.