Aussie Aussie Aussie

Further to Ramon's post...

The angels have downed their trumpets and taken a smoko. The ASX has halted trading and the wolves are at bay. The Devil himself has laid down his arms and signed a 14-day ceasefire agreement with the LORD, and Kevin Rudd is set to declare a National Public Holiday.

Yes, Aussie Baz Luhrmann’s ‘epic’ ™ AUSTRALIA is about to be released, which in one fell swoop will restore Australia’s film industry, cement Australia’s global reputation as being the bewdiest place on Earth, and set Australia up to be the new enfant terrible of world arts, the new China and the new black.

Free-trade agreements between Australia and all UN member nations has been ratified, and Australians no longer need working visas or visas at all to go anywhere in the world and they are hitherto allowed to have sex with any man, woman or sheep in any province of any country on Earth. All global citizens must also let any AUSTRALIANS entering their house to empty their larder, and the hosts must darn Australian tourist's socks.

Australians have also been voted as the BEST people EVAH by all polling and data-gathering agencies in every country of the world and in all polls ever commissioned and ever to be commissioned.

Already, shops in Sydney have sold out of tickertape and brass keys to the city which will adorn Australian Nic and Australian Hugh and director of Australia, the Australian senior spokesperson on all things Australian, Baz Lhurmannm, followed by their inauguration as joint Presidents and Kings and Queens of Australia forever and ever. Towering brass statues some thirty metres high depicting the Australians Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman and the director of Australia, the greatest Director on Earth, the Australian Baz Lurhneman, have been commissioned to tour the world every four years, starting from some outback shitheap full of redneck cunts in FNQ.

The NT have reported an influx of workers set to reap the inevitable tourist hordes that will descend from all corners of the globe only minutes after seeing the film AUSTRALIA by Baz Luhrnmann. They are currently enrolled in fast-tracking lingo courses, practicing their use of the word ‘crikey’ as it commonly appears in the film Australia which is directed by the Australian genius Baz Lumrhannm.

Chinatown in New York is bankrupt and will soon be re-branded as Outbacktown.

Jim Schembri has been taken outside and shot after his unpatriotic review.

The SES are turning in their badges and the brown snakes have decided to hibernate for summer as well. The white-tails have emptied their venom and the kookaburras can’t stop laughing. Sharks are now vegetarian. Possums speak English. The moon has eloped with an astral whore and somewhere in another room an old clock ticks.

AUSTRALIA is coming.