Thursday, August 30, 2012

Welcome, Norsename

Oh, this post is such an ill-fit given what's below, but Puss, I'm glad to hear you're okay and I apologise if this post seems, I dunno, inappropriate, but, anyway, I did want to let you guys know Andromeda had our baby girl on Sunday (8 pound 4, epidural, Norse name). I'm a Dad. Jesus. Mother fucking jesus. You know, I was waiting for this magical moment wherein the instant my daughter was born I would feel like some sort of new man. It didn't really happen, and I don't think it will. I still feel like me and I'm just as I always was, but now I have a daughter and some extra responsibilities. I also have extra love for Andromeda - bordering on worship for what she went through on my behalf. But what did change in an instant was this: Propensity for violence. From the moment Norsename was born I had this instinctual, primal desire to TORTURE AND KILL anybody that threatened her safety. I don't even know why I thought of it. Perhaps because she looked so helpless there, covered in placental discharge or whatever that gunk was, but there she was, laden with half my genetic code, and I realised then and there that I would without even a micro-second of second guessing, murder in her name and/or take a bullet for her. But of course, the certainty of violence is not what takes up my day. It's all nappies and washing and nursing and remembering the time of my life that lasted 43 years in which I had a decent sleep. And staring a lot at the little baby in wonder and awe. Life's alright once you get used to it.

19 comments:

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Mazel tov, Pers!

And I know what you mean about the homicidal violence.

I'm a pretty laid back bloke, but I would gut with a blunt butter knife anybody who so much looked sideways at The Boy.

squib said...

Oh you two, so charming

Good job, Andromeda and epic congratulations, Persey!!!!!!!!!!!

come.to.mumma said...

Welcome Norsename! And congrats Pers and Andromeda.

Perseus said...

Ramon! You're famous!
http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/trolling-charlotte-dawson-20120830-252wa.html

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Indeed.

Geraldine Himmler said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Caroline said...

Congratulations Perseus :D

Also I hear that Ramon is a bad man. He makes Barstools weep.

Cath said...

BRAVO and Big Congratulations to you Perseus and Andromeda!! I was thinking only recently that your arrival should be announced soon... and here she is! Now as a father of a girl, you can contemplate on the ways in which you would treat any man who treats your daughter as you might have to other women in the past... Food for thought isn't it. As a parent of two delightful little girls, enjoy every moment and nappy change. One day they won't need you anymore, but until then, enjoy the wonderful hugs and kisses of your little girl!

Puss In Boots said...

Congrats Pers! I was wondering the other day if you were a dad yet.

Such happy news!

Kettle said...

Congrats! Great news. All the very best.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

So, Pers.

How was your first Father's Day?

patchouligirl said...

Oh wow congratulations Perseus! And just in time for Fathers Day. Advice: start moving everything you treasure away from ground level now. Time to start thinking about child proof locks on everything. P.S. Mattress protectors don't protect against leaky nappies, those rubber backed picnic rugs from auto shops work, or simply cover the whole bed in a big plastic sheet. Enjoy! P.S. Everyone I know is having girls this year!

Melba said...

We won't see him back here for another three years (and likely right now they are in the throes of being home and everything being really really hard) or so but in case he does, congrats Persey! Wonderful news. Make the most of each moment because in a blink they are fifteen. Not that there's anything wrong with that but they are so so delicious when they are little. They also have an incorrect ratio of power:body size but you'll find that out.

Melba said...

We won't see him back here for another three years (and likely right now they are in the throes of being home and everything being really really hard) or so but in case he does, congrats Persey! Wonderful news. Make the most of each moment because in a blink they are fifteen. Not that there's anything wrong with that but they are so so delicious when they are little. They also have an incorrect ratio of power:body size but you'll find that out.

Melba said...

Annoying...

Perseus said...

Thanks everyone.

Cath: I'd be happy for Norsename to date a man like me one day. She might be disappointed, bored and forced to play second fiddle to football, but she will not be in harm's way and she'll eat well.

Melba: Lewd Bob gaved me similar advice, and how right you both are. She's one week old and is tough as. Getting her dressed is a an even-fought wrestle.

Caroline: Thanks for the pop-in! Call again some time.

Melba said...

Oh yay that was quick, a small window between nappies and voms?

So happy for you and Andromeda.

Lewd Bob knows the true gen then, that's for sure.

Alex said...

Oh, you lads and your adorable declarations of murderous intent.

Congratulations and best of luck Perseus. I'd take heed of what PG said about mattress protection too, by the way.

Are you still copping grief from Fat Slapper?

shitbmxrider said...

Late post, I know... But congratulations Pers!