Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I thought this was supposed to be fun?

Elizabeth wondered if she'd perchance gone overboard on the strings of pearls.

I really did. I had no idea it would be this stressful. And it's still a year away!

All of the bridal magazines and websites I have read have said there's really not much to do in the first 6 months, except book the venue (which we did back in December before we were even engaged), and start researching the sorts of things you want. I thought I was being ridiculously organised by even sending out emails to my preferred suppliers this early.

Turns out, I am not freakily organised. Every single supplier came back saying they already had other enquiries for that date, or in the case of our photo booth supplier, that they only had one booth left (which was fine, since I only wanted one). I had to madly start making bookings yesterday just to secure my top-tier suppliers. So far, I've booked the videographer, hair and makeup artists, photo booth and cake maker, and am about to book the photographer. I'd love to book the transport, but I can't seem to find anywhere in Brisbane that has more than one classic Rolls or Jaguar. I don't particularly want mismatched cars.

I've just finished hemorrhaging money from the kitchen renovation/house decorating. I thought I'd be able to rest for a bit. Apparently not. The money hemorrhaging has begun again. *sigh* I'm also starting to think I have woefully underestimated the budget I would need. The reception, videographer and photographer are pretty much taking up the whole budget, and I still have the dress, cake and honeymoon to think of, let alone all of the other little costs! I think I'm going to have to raise it by $15k. And that includes doing the flowers and invitations myself, as well as not having much in the way of decorations at the reception (the venue is pretty enough, and I don't see the point of having cut flowers everywhere).

Do any of the ladies here have any tips on how to make this all go more smoothly? I am totally freaking out right now, wondering what else I need to do this month, before the suppliers I want are totally booked up for my date.

43 comments:

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

While not a chick, I am married and my advice to you Puss is to start drinking.

Heavily.

Everything is much less stressful in a drunken blur.

And why on earth did you think weddings were meant to be fun?!

Alex said...

As someone who's never even considered getting married, I have to assume that Ramon knows what he's talking about, Puss. My small experience working with a videographer would also support his claim that weddings are very rarely fun.

Also, you booked the wedding venue over half a year before you got engaged? Didn't that take the wind out of the proposal a bit?

WitchOne said...

Well, if you want cost saving tips, e-mail me, there are loads of ways to save but I need more detail from you in regard to what you want and how you want it.

Puss In Boots said...

Ramon - because it's all girly, and pretty and planning and stuff! That sort of thing is right up my alley!

Alex - not really. We saved $5,000 by booking it back then. And I've known he was going to propose since May 2009, when he told me in a drug-induced haze (and quite distraught) that he was going to propose when he came to meet me in Europe (drug-induced because he'd shattered his ankle and was in hospital on morphine).

WitchOne, I shall email you. I'm not generally a cost saving person, so I am out of my depth.

Puss In Boots said...

Actually, your profile doesn't have your email address on it.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Puss, does he have any morphine left over.

Because that stuff is ace when it comes to dealing with stress!

squib said...

Have you tried Royal Daimlers?

I always think you should spend the most on the photographer and the dress. Also, I like children at a wedding. We had lots of children at ours with little boats on their tables and blue sparkly star wands

I wouldn't have bothered with video. No one wants to watch a wedding more than once

Puss In Boots said...

Ramon - sadly, he doesn't. And if he did, it would likely be out of date anyway.

Squib - They'd be great if they were in Brisbane. All the good transport businesses seem to be in Sydney.

Also, you haven't seen the videos that our videographer does. They are more like movies. We weren't keen on the idea either, until we attended a friend's wedding, and saw their video. It is simply amazing, and I cried while I was watching it. We've booked the same videographer.

Plus, we have some elements in the wedding that wouldn't really be captured properly on stills, so it would be nice to have a video of it.

Alex said...

I know I'm not being in any way helpful here Puss, but I'm just curious to know - do wedding videos still only come on DVD, or has the public fascination with hi-def pushed the market into Blu-ray now?

Puss In Boots said...

No idea, Alex! I'm meeting with the videographers tonight, so I'll let you know!

Alex said...

Cheers, Puss.

Mr E Discharge said...

Puss,
Regarding the car thing , it would worth contacting the Jaguar Car Club of Queensland.

They might be able to help, or at least give you some contacts.

http://www.jagqld.org.au/

Puss In Boots said...

Thanks Mr E! That's a great idea!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I don't understand why nobody is taking up my suggestions of excessive drug use.

Alex said...

In the highly unlikely scenario that I ever do tie the knot, I'll be sure to keep it in mind, Ramon.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Top-ho, Alex!

And see if you could start a fight on the big day.

Alex said...

I bet that'd make for a wedding video that'd get watched more than once, Ramon.

Lewd Bob said...

I don't understand why nobody is taking up my suggestions of excessive drug use.

Possibly because anybody interested in such an approach is currently undertaking excessive drug use.

patchouligirl said...

I've had two weddings and I just think people get so carried away it is easy to lose sight of reality. As soon as you say the word 'wedding' suppliers quadruple their prices which doesn't help. I would sit down, cost it all out and then decide if you really like your friends/relatives to spend that much money impressing them. My suggestion would be a guest list cull and settle for something more homey.

For both my weddings I had a celebrant, caterers doing 'extensive finger food' rather than a sit down meal and the reception at home. For the first one we had the wedding in the grounds of the Bahai Temple in Sydney and the reception at my parents Elanora home overlooking Narrabeen Lakes. There was an enormous floral arrangement floating in the pool. The second was at my husbands parents place, a federation style place, verandah all around, set on 5 acres. There was a white horse with a ribbon around it's neck in the front yard. The finger food can be done really nicely and works really well. It means you aren't stuck next to some old Aunt and guests can mingle while the food comes to them. It also gives you far greater freedom with the venue as you don't need tables. Oh and for the second wedding I was shocked at the prices of cakes so I went to Michels and they have a book of all kinds of designs, they do almond fondant and tiers. We don't like fruit cake so we got a carrot cake, in a heart shape with cream piping that was absolutely fine for $70.

Puss In Boots said...

I really didn't think it was about impressing my family and friends. I was just trying to throw a really great party to celebrate. Much of what we have planned is not all that traditional. I'm not trying to do the big wedding extravaganza.

I don't know any people whose houses are big enough to host such an event, so that's out. Both of our parents live hours out of the city, so that's out too. We'd have to hire a venue regardless.

As for guest list cull, we only have 60 as it is, and anyone we don't speak to on a regular basis didn't make the list. To cut anyone off that list of 60 would mean losing friendships. 90% of the guest list are friends, because we didn't want a wedding full of old relatives we never speak to. In fact, only my immediate family has made the list on my side. I'm not inviting any aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc.

The venue we hired is average priced for the city region, and there's a minimum spend, so we wouldn't get out of it any cheaper if we did finger food rather than a sit down meal.

But I do appreciate your comments Patch! I'm just not sure I can take much away from them :(

Oh and Mr E - the *lovely* people (sarcasm) at the Jag Club told me my request could not be accommodated, because their members don't have car hire operator licences, and the fines if they were caught by Qld Transport are astronomical. They were really quite rude about it. They could have said it a little nicer. So I'm back to square one in the transport regard.

patchouligirl said...

I guess what I was trying to say is that it's possible to have a backyard wedding on a shoestring budget without it being tacky - in both cases I preferred the venues I had to a function centre - there was more atmosphere. So many people I know don't get married because they "can't afford a wedding" . . my last one cost under $2000 and that included my $110 off the rack dress (which I never wore again of course), and our rings. Being a country style wedding hubby got away with wearing jeans and workboots that he bought new and wore until they fell off him. Dad took the photos and a friend brought a handycam along (unasked but we're glad to have the video now even though we never watch it). It was a daytime wedding, so afterwards we got changed and went to a party at the neighbours house. We rocked up and Steve introduced me to a friend as 'my wife'. She looked surprised said 'when did you get married?' and we said "today!".

Alex said...

I'm pretty sure my parents got married in a public park and just had a BBQ afterwards. Of course, it was mostly attended by bikies and is, I'm sure, a long way from what Puss has in mind.

wari lasi said...

I'm not trying to do the big wedding extravaganza.

Ha! You forget where you are young lady. We know you. I reckon you'd be incapable of doing it any other way.

I think extravaganza is your middle name. Hey, now that's a thought, re-working your nom de plum to Puss in Extravagant Boots (with matching extravagant bag of course!)

Cars? Just do standard white stretch limos. There's about a million doing Brisbane - Gold Coast transfers every day. And they look plenty classy. We did matching Rollers for my first wedding and one of the bloody things overheated on the harbour bridge.

wari lasi said...

Nitpicker warning! It's strand of pearls, I'm reliably told.

Puss In Boots said...

Yes, Wari, but what about when there's more than one strand??

And neither the boy or I want standard stretch limos - boring!

And truly, honestly, really - it will be a great party, but it's not like some fairy tale princess wedding. That's what I call the traditional wedding extravaganza. You know, 300 guests, massive cake, toilet-doll dress, horse and carriage, etc etc. That's not what we're doing. To give you an idea, part of our theme involves squirrels!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

To give you an idea, part of our theme involves squirrels!

Baked or fried, Puss?

wari lasi said...

I dunno Puss, we just had a client years ago (a Broome operator) and I was abruptly corrected.

And Rollers aren't boring? You want matching, have stretches. They look good in photos. If they're new the aircon will work (are you planning summer nuptials? think of the makeup!!) and with everyone wearing uncomfortable clothes there's heaps of room to stretch out with fridges that work with lovely cold drinks while you change venues.

Hear, hear Ramon! Squirrels indeed. How about roasting some native species? What do you have against quokkas? I hope these imported squirrels have got actors' equity approval to perform at a local event?

Puss In Boots said...

How could anyone not love this??

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'm just cranky because everytime I go to the train station I have to walk past this.

Owls, owls everywhere!!!

Make them stop!!!!!!!

Mad Cat Lady said...

I've been wondering what you would do if your progeny begged to go see it - lol

(it was the first thing I thought of when I saw the trailer on telly)

wari lasi said...

MCL he's a big softy I reckon where the boy is concerned. He may have already been ...

And Puss, that is very cute. But non native, grab a quokka I say again.

Alex said...

Wari, I think your argument would carry more weight if it was also accompanied by a few cute piccies.

Also, I'm betting that poor Mrs Insertnamehere would be the one finding herself at the theatre.

wari lasi said...

Indeed Alex, thank you. The third picture is actually quite squirrelesque. N'est-ce pas?

Alex said...

Um...Wee.

Puss In Boots said...

Oh my god! So cute! My brain has esploded!

WitchOne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
WitchOne said...

No e-mail yet.. Got your address now, will send one to you.

Louche said...

From my own experiences and then going to many more weddings I wish we'd just picked a venue that did everything (food, decorations, cake etc). I had an awesome venue but had to organise every last thing.

It may be too late but I wouldn't get a videographer, just hand someone a Flip Mino. I don't know anyone who ever watches their wedding video.

For photographs I asked a photogpahy student friend. He was awesome and gave me the negs so I didn't have to pay for expensive prints (that was in the Middle Ages, I believe you can request the raw files on CD these days).

Don't worry about bombonierre things, my friends were too drunk to appreciate them.

How about a few nights at a really posh hotel close to the venue as a honeymoon then save up to go on a proper holiday a few months later?

Feel free to email me if you have any questions. Wedding planning sucks.

Ann O'Dyne said...

www.offbeatbride.com/

is FABULOUS

Ann O'Dyne said...

oh god I love it at offbeatbride.com, and when i went there just now, checking that I left you the right URL, I saw a wedding party carrying Barbie dolls instead of flowers and it looked GREAT, also I remembered the trashthedress link.
Just put trashthedress into your searchbox it's fun.
Brides in ponds, up trees.
My friend wore her bridal gown for days after the wedding, it was hilarious.

Puss In Boots said...

Thanks for the tips! Witchie has sent me some too, which I am working through to see what I can do.

As for trashing the dress - not so sure about that one. I mean, I wouldn't even trash a dress I spent $50 on, let alone one in the wedding dress price range!

WitchOne said...

Bet you don't take any of my suggestions on board.. I adore you but through here, I know you. :-)

Puss In Boots said...

That's not true. I was already looking into your bombonniere idea, as well as your dress idea. As for the photography, the boy has final say in that, so I have suggested it, but we shall see.

My sister had a very cheap photographer, however ($500), and her photos are simply awful. The ones I took with my little point-and-click came out better. So I suspect he won't agree to that one. And as for Louche's videographer idea, we weren't going to have one, because we have seen some friends' videos who just gave a hand held to a friend, and their videos were terrible. But then we went to a wedding of one of my friends, and they had professionals, and we saw their teaser video. It was simply amazing. I am not an emotional person in the slightest, and I cried when I watched it. So yeah. I think the boy is set on having them as well.

That sort of thing is his domain, so I have given him the final say in that area.

My venue does include everything, so we don't have to pay for decorations, etc. The ceremony is at the same place as the reception, so I don't have to pay 2 venue fees. I'm not really doing flowers because I think they're wasteful (and was quoted $2,000 for 5 bouquets and 5 buttonholes, when I can make them myself for under $150). I'm having a cupcake tower, and using the cupcakes as the dessert. I'm doing the invitations myself to save money (was quoted over $3,000 to do invitations!!!!). We're not having a DJ because a) none of them would have our style of music and b) they charge too much for what is basically playing a random play list of songs.

So it's not like I'm just wildly throwing money into the wind because it's my wedding. There are heaps of cost cutting measures I've taken, and more that I'm considering. I just think photography/videography is going to be one of those areas we're splurging on, because at the end of the day, the photos and the video are all that's left, so we want them to be awesome.