Wednesday, September 1, 2010

More tales from Chelm!

Fabulous Chelm!!

The Chief Rabbi of Chelm was sitting in his bath when an angel of the Lord appeared before him and spake unto him saying;

“Samuel, Samuel, the lamentations of your people have reached the ears of the Lord your God and he wants to know – what’s with all the lamentations already?”

And Samuel said;

“Lord, my people are sore vexed as we do not have reliable high-speed access to the Internet.”

And the angel said;

“Ok, I’ll get to work on it.”

And Samuel said;

“Make sure it’s optic-fibre, none of that copper wire rubbish.”

“Right, right, no copper wire,” said the angel, writing it down.


One day the noted pianist Ignacy Jan Paderewski was walking through the market square of Chelm, when he was approached by a peasant with a chicken on his head.

“Maestro,” said the peasant “how do you get to Carnegie Hall?”

“I find the A or C lines on the subway should do it”, said Paderewski “and do you know you have a chicken on your head?”

“A chicken!?” said the peasant “yerrrrrrrrgh, get it off, GET IT OFF!!”


The current member for Chelm in the Commonwealth Parliament is Warren Truss.


Mr E Discharge said...

Isn't anybody going to laugh nervously and then change the subject?


obtuse-a said...

My aunt was born in Chelm.

She's also a big StarTrek fan.

But that's neither a chicken or a rabbit, as they would say.

Your optic fibre may come in a water barrel, only visible at times of the new moon.

**faux nervous laughter**

Is a Warren Truss some kind of orthopaedic undergarment?

Mr E Discharge said...

Thank you for at least trying.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

My aunt was born in Chelm

I’m envious, obtuse-a.

Anonymous said...

Warren who?

I don't really have anything to say about Chelm in particular, but here's a bit of a story about the Nationals: The federal seat where my parents currently live has delivered a huge majority to the Nationals since roughly the year dot. The section of national highway that runs through the electorate is (in parts) a stretch of dangerous, narrow bitumen that has been completely destroyed by heavy trucking. For the decade or so that Howard was in government, the people went to their local member and said, "Can't something be done about the appalling condition of this road?". And for a decade or so, the local member said to the people, "Fear not, for I am looking into it". And the people said, "Our local member is clearly a great man for doing this. We must continue to vote him in with a huge majority". And so they did. Twelve months after the Howard government was turfed from office, the local member went to the people and said, "The condition of this road is appalling. Clearly the Rudd government has been derelict in its duties, and this foul Labor party has nothing but contempt for you the rural people". And the people said, "This man speaks the truth. Let us return him with an even greater majority this time around". And so they did.

The half-dozen or so Labor voters* out there have a little joke that goes something along the lines of - Q: What do you call a National who grows some balls? A: An independent.

*Greens voters, of course, must practise in secret, for fear of reprisal.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Wilkie has just announced he's supporting Gillard.

Hang on Jules, almost there!!!

patchouligirl said...

Yes, a good day Ramon, fingers crossed this is the beginning of the end for Abbott.

wari lasi said...

Wilkie has just announced he's supporting Gillard.

And what an impressive character he is. Jesus, who voted for the drip?

The conservatives aren't fit to rule admittedly, but it looks like it will be a messy compromise.

Melba said...

What do you mean Wari? What I know of him I find impressive. He stood up and blew the whistle on the LACK OF weapons of mass destruction. That takes a fair amount of strength, especially so because at the time the papers were filled with a newly-mentioned and very threatening term: sedition. The thought that people in this country - journalists, bloggers even, could be charged with making seditious commentary I remember was a worry. With new police powers and people being arrested and held without charge and being unable to contact legal aid, it was a pretty oppressive and worrying time. And it was in that context he wrapped his lips around the small metal object and blew hard.

Unless there's something else I don't know about him, I reckon he's pretty game. PLUS he didn't fall in with the triad of Katter, Oakeshott and the other one. PLUS he has a pretty awesome-looking Oriental carpet shop in Tassie.

The man's alright.