Monday, September 19, 2011

You're just too hip, baby. Part two.

I'm third from the left.

Yesterday I went to the High Noon festival in High Street, Northcote for my annual dose of bands and beer*.

As somebody who participated in the hippest festival, in the hippest street, in the hippest suburb, of the hippest city in Australia**, I thought I’d post my observation of what’s hot and what’s not*** for you – the loyal readers of this nonsense.

For teh chicks;
  • The sixties look is very big this year – possibly inspired by Amy Winehouse.
  • Lesbians are big.
  • Big lesbians are big.
  • Beer is big.
For teh blokes;
  • Beards are big. Half the blokes there looked like extras from the Story of the Kelly Gang, so this bodes very well for Mr Kettle.
For everyone;
  • Tatts are outsville, baby. I don’t think I saw a single person under the age of 30 with a tatt, for which we should all be profoundly grateful.
Also, after a Melbourne winter, if you put a street full of pasty-white people out in the open on a sunny spring day – said people will be all sorts of interesting shades of red by the end.

Sunburn sucks dogs’ balls.

* Although I probably have a beer a bit more frequently than that.

** I’m sorry, but we just are.

*** Although, given how fast these things move, it’s probably already out of date.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the heads-up, Ramon. It's always good to have someone on the cutting edge who can keep you abreast of the trends.

For teh chicks -- The sixties look is very big this year

Hmmm, I'll leave that to the more fashion conscious sisters to nut out.

Lesbians are big. Big lesbians are big.

Hmmm, I'll leave that to -- hey what happened to Catlick?

Beards are big.

As I think I said to EMS -- just so long as they're not the silly wank-beards that I see geting about on so many people's faces now. Those are silly and wanky.

Tatts are outsville, baby [...] for which we should all be profoundly grateful.

Yeah, I suppose I can see your point; but some people (who shall remain nameless) have been riding the wave and earning a little extra money doing designs. On the up side, I doubt they're going to lose their appeal with bikers any time soon.

Cath said...

Following from Alex... I don't *do" sixties - so I am out. I am not lesbian - so I am out. I like beer - YAY... back in again. I don't like beards - back out. I don't have a tattoo - YAY, back in....

Being a young* inner-urbanite is stressful keeping up with the *kids*...

*Young is up to definition. In my case, young = not yet retired.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Ahh, the topsy-turvey world of Hipness, Cath.

Anonymous said...

I like beer - YAY... back in again.

I think beer has a timeless quality, Cath. It never seems to go out of style*.

*As much as I'm sure wine and spirit makers wish it would.

eat my shorts said...

For teh chicks -- The sixties look is very big this year
I profess to be no expert, but I think this has been the case since Mad Men.

Kettle said...

Dear Ramonski I am saddened (or, more accurately, abso-fucking-lutely delighted!) to report Mr Kettle has shaved his beard. Now he stands out again from the beardy hipster crowd. Thank chroist.

Anonymous said...

So soon, Kettle? Succumb to the "itchy period", did he?

Or was it more a case of succumbing to the disgruntled other half?

Kettle said...

Dear Alex, I gruntle not, it's not my way. He got irritated with it of his own accord; I was genuinely surprised!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...


What a piker.

Anonymous said...

...says the bloke who nixed his own growth on account of spousal, um, gruntle-ing.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Alex, yes but...


I'll shut up now.

WitchOne said...

'sigh' I'll never be 'in', not skinny enough to pull off the 60's look, not a lesbian, not even a big lesbian*, don't drink beer, want a tatt** and can't grow a beard.

*I know some lesbians so maybe I can be hip by association.

**Who's designing tatts Alex? Hmmmm???

Anonymous said...

**Who's designing tatts Alex? Hmmmm???

Oh, ah, just, um, "someone" I, ah, "know" who's been moonlighting, y'know? Not a pro-artist or anything.

I think they might be a bit sick of tribal stuff too, by the way.

What was it you had in mind, Witchy?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Try uincorns, Alex.

Unicorns never go out of style.

Kettle said...

Unicorns were in style at some point, Ramon?

Ooh, you don't have a unicorn tatt, do you?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Good God no, Kettle!

Although I did consider a "hammer and sickle" one, at one stage.

Anonymous said...

A hammer and sickle draped unicorn -- or a hammer and sickle wielding unicorn; now you're talking Ramon.

How about it Witchy?

WitchOne said...

Hmm, a hammer and sickle wielding a unicorn? Sounds nothing like the 3 names I want designed for my ridiculously tiny wrist. I say ridiculously because in comparison to the rest of my body, my wrists a miniscule. I require a clever design indeed.

Are you the clever one to make a maximum 1cm x 1 cm space arty with long words and little else?

WitchOne said...

I'll stop hiding it..

HELP ME ALEX! please?

WitchOne said...

Holy shit, joined Google+ and can now see so many more members of this site.

Never mind, I'm smug because I'm one of the originals.

Anonymous said...

Three names displayed artistically in a 1cm x 1cm space? Not asking much, eh?

Anyway, while nobody ever accused me of being clever, you can shoot me an email with the detail if you like.

What's Google+ like? I've never used a social network tool, but since I use a bunch of other Google junk and liked the idea of having segregated "circles", I thought I might give it a whirl. Then the account suspension business put me off. What do you reckon; worth the risk?

WitchOne said...

Will do Alex.

Google+, I don't get it, but I'm sure I will. It certainly doesn't "share" as much as FB and that's a bonus.

Give it a go, you never know, you might like it. :-)

Kettle said...

Good God no, Kettle!

Ramon I love it when you say things vehemently. I can just imagine you throwing back your Zederbaum-hatted head, bellowing out Russian-style. Gold.

Re: tatts, I'm unfashionably keen to get one but am completely paralysed by choice. How do people end up choosing a design (assuming they're sober)?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

How do people end up choosing a design

May I suggest a hammer and sickle wielding unicorn, Kettle?

Kettle said...

Great, that's awesome Ramon.

All that's left now is for Alex to mock up a design. Alex?

Anonymous said...

Will see how the weekend goes, Kettle.

Now, in order to wield said hammer and sickle, I foresee a unicorn with some anthropomorphic qualities. Male or female?

Kettle said...

Grouse Alex. You're gonna want the same, aren't you Ramon? We can be hammer-and-sickle-wielding-unicorn-tatt buddies. Where are you going to get yours?

Alex re: male or female unicorn, flip a coin; that seems to be how most tatt-decision making processes run.

Anonymous said...

If you're both going to have one, I'd better do a couple.

Also, you can now (thanks to encouragement from Witchy) contact me via Google+. How you do that, though, I have no idea.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

We can be hammer-and-sickle-wielding-unicorn-tatt buddies

Kettle, you know I love you like a sister but no.

Just no.

Anonymous said...

Oh, come on, Ramon; you haven't even seen what they look like yet.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...


Well, I'll reserve my judgement then Alex.

WitchOne said...

Me first Alex! Of course you all want to copy me so why don't you all get my children's names tattooed on your wrists also? That way it saves Alex some time, we can all match and ooooh, we should have a secret knock.

How we make a secret knock work via the interwebs I've no idea, you're all smart, think of something!

As for Google+, I'm getting used to it. :-)

Kettle said...

Hey Witchie, you've just given me a fundraising idea. When I read your comment about everyone getting your kids' names tattooed on their wrists I thought, I would if you paid me enough.

So I'm thinking I might get a tattoo for autism, maybe even that hammer-and-sickle-wielding unicorn. Reckon it'd be worth it, if you paid my nominated autism organisation enough.


Anonymous said...

I'm a support-medical-research type person anyway*, Kettle, so I'd probably swing your organisation some loot without you getting a tattoo (it is rather permanent, after all).

*I also give blood, and you** should too.

**And I don't just mean Kettle; everyone should.

Melbourne Girl said...

Hello everyone. I'm back from Legian Beach and have a tattoo of a lame-looking cat and "GO CATS" written underneath on my upper arm. In henna. Mostly to piss off husband who is rabid Collingwood fan. It's his only flaw.

I've had enough Bintang to last me the rest of the year.

I'm pissed off at arriving back to Melbourne's puddles in thongs.

I'm now in my jarmies, ready to watch the game on the couch, sans beer with a nice tuna salad.


WitchOne said...

Hmm, fair enough Kettle but I'd rather donate to cancer research right now, my grandmother has 2 months left.

Welcome home Melbs, it's a jarmie day for sure, but I'm at work and they may object if I get changed. :-)

Kettle said...

Oh Witchie that is sad news. I hope your grandmother is as comfortable as possible xx

WitchOne said...

Yeah she is Kettle, I hate that she beat it in 1975 by having a radical mastectomy and no chemo (back in those days you had a 5 year diagnosis, people rarely lasted longer than that) and it came back. The cheek of it!

Funny side effect, she's cut down from 60 a day to 4. Who'd have thought dying would make you give up smoking?

Anonymous said...

Welcome back Melbs.

You're right Witchy, cancer does have a bloody hide on it. We buried my cousin a few weeks ago and it gave me a chill when I looked around and noticed how many rellies were there sans boobs/hair. (I said this on EMS' blog, but bugger it: please everybody, self check and don't ignore changes)

Your gran sounds like a tough old nut, Witchy. My thoughts are with you both.

patchouligirl said...

Lost my Oma to cancer of the pancreas in 2000. There isn't a day go by that I don't think of her. Despite what Perseus says I find it very hard to believe that she isn't somehow looking over me . . . I can feel her prescence.

WitchOne said...

I'm with you Patch, I'd rather think something is left behind of the ones we love, other than a carcass requiring disposal. I often think of my Opa, Grandpa, Grumpy and Grandma and yes, I talk to them, I can!

I know Alex, people should self check, but people don't.

Speaking of boobs, Google Mondors disease, it can happen to guys too, I had it a couple of years ago and it's pretty hilarious even though it is a potential pre curser to cancer.