Friday, March 16, 2012

A cautionary PSF.

"Beats fecking soup"

Augustus was a chubby lad;
Fat ruddy cheeks Augustus had:
And everybody saw with joy
The plump and hearty, healthy boy.
He ate and drank as he was told,
And never let his soup get cold.
But one day, one cold winter's day,
He screamed out "Take the soup away!
O take the nasty soup away!
I won't have any soup today."

Next day, now look, the picture shows
How lank and lean Augustus grows!
Yet, though he feels so weak and ill,
The naughty fellow cries out still
"Not any soup for me, I say:
O take the nasty soup away!
I won't have any soup today."

The third day comes: Oh what a sin!
To make himself so pale and thin.
Yet, when the soup is put on table,
He screams, as loud as he is able,
"Not any soup for me, I say:
O take the nasty soup away!
I WON'T have any soup today."

Look at him, now the fourth day's come!
He scarcely weighs a sugar-plum;
He's like a little bit of thread,
And, on the fifth day, he was—dead!

4 comments:

Mr E said...

Why has the Womens Weekly not told us about the "Miracle Four Day No Soup Diet" before now? Would have been the lead story in Ita's day.

Other stark reminder of the decline of print media.

squib said...

And further, why has The Australian not mentioned the 'Childhood Plump and Hearty Epidemic'?

eat my shorts said...

Sweet baby Jesus, what's in the bloody soup?!

squib said...

mushrooms would be my guess