Friday, February 24, 2012

I got nothin'. Nothin'!

"Wake me up when the leadership spill is over."

Because I’m a lazy, lazy man, I can’t be arsed doing a PSF today.

I thought instead I'd share the lyrics from songs have stayed in my memory, for one reason or another.

What this says for my mental state, I shudder to think.

There will be a small prize for anyone who can correctly identify what songs these lyrics are taken from*.

1.         Where was I, I forgot the point that I was making.

2.         Shana-nana, ooh my my, she’s on drugs.

3.         Goddamn, Europeans!

4.         I got girl trouble. Up the ass!

5.         Welcome to the cheap seats.

6.         In these shoes? I don’t think so!

7.         Your laughing eyes, your crazy smile, every time I look in his face.

8.         I got no distance left to run.

9.         I was visiting a sick friend. I was a doctor then.

10.       Never could stand that dog.

*I don’t know what the prize will be.

Possibly a beer.

Or a lemon.

Or a beer made from lemons.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Stop! Enough already!

"Just shut the fuck up!"

I was going to write something about the ever-present nonsense coming from the Canberra Press Gallery about Labor's "leadership crisis" but then I realised that if I listened to one more second of this crap, I'd go


And I didn't want to do that.

Have a look at Mr Denmore's excellent take on it here.

Also, he's much funnier.


So, the challenge is on.

My money (for what it's worth - which isn't much) is for a convincing Gillard victory.

But either way, for the sake of the Party, for the sake of the country and for the sake of my sanity, I hope it's pretty clear-cut.

Go the bloodnut!

Friday, February 17, 2012

"But deep, real deep"

"Mmmm, profound"

No equation
to explain the division of the senses
No sound to reflect
the radiance of time
In the beginningest dream
Halls of disorder
Where we are swept to encircle dawn
Strapped in a low car
Racing thru silence
Trumpeting bliss
You could kiss the world

Standing outside the courthouse
in the rain
Seemed like a lost soul
from the chapel of dreams
With a handful of images
Faces of children
Phases of the moon
One little thing you get wrong
changes the dimensions
Streets, swept memory
Diffused and lost
Like a prayer in the sun

Sometimes you can't tell
whether you're waking up
or going to sleep
Unnumbered streets
All the games cannot be yours
All the sights, the treasures of the eye
Does the divided soul remain the same?
No equation to explain
Destiny's hand
Moved, by love
Drawn by the whispering shadows
Into the mathematics
of our desire

Friday, February 10, 2012

Shaggin' Wagon

...and so he turned to his mate and said, "Now we can all get some sleep."

But I digress.

So, back in November, my girlfriend Andromeda was invited to go camping for three nights by a friend of hers who I'll call Fat-Slapper. Mean, spiteful woman. Anyhoo, Andromeda said yes to the camping thing, even though it happened to be on her birthday weekend. I was a little annoyed because I wanted to take her out to a nice restuarant for her birthday (which I did, three days early) and also because I wasn't invited to the camping because Fat-Slapper doesn't like me and I don't like her. But on the eve of her birthday, Andromeda rang me from the camp-site and said, "I spoke to Fat-Slapper, and you can come tonight to our camp site, but with the following rules: You can only stay for one night, you can't stay in our tent - you have to stay in your car, and you and I can't have sex..."

I agreed to those rules, even though they were ludicrous, but in the end, I wanted to spend Andromeda's birthday with her, and she wanted me there. So I got to the campsite, and Fat-Slapper gave me evils for kissing Andromeda hello, and the whole night was awkward. So I got drunk. So did Andromeda.

At 2am, I went to bed in the back of my Subaru station wagon where I had shoved a mattress.

At 2.15am there was a knock at my window. It was Andromeda, looking for a birthday shag, and because I'm a gentleman, I obliged, but the things is, because I wasn't expecting sex that night (because of Fat-Slapper's rules), I wasn't armed with protection.

Back of the station wagon, metres from the beach, drunk, no condoms... you know how it goes.

Meet Perseus Jnr:

Due in August. As Lou Reed said in his song, 'Beginning Of A Great Adventure', "...It's the beginning of a great adventure."

Monday, February 6, 2012

travel special: some of europe

This was Den Haag on New Year's Eve. I think it was Russian champagne. Anyway, cheerski, comrades

This was taken in JukkasjÀrvi . I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed saying, "Oh, I was just in the Arctic Circle a few weeks ago"

I loved Sweden, not least because the A tile was worth 4 points

I had five weeks of huskies, reindeer, moose (plural), gondolas, daleks, bells, rockets, Mickey Mouse waffles and it was (way, way) better than Dog Rock

Bad things that happened: we lost LittleSquib in Stockholm Airport, BigSquib left her bag in the Mona Lisa room and almost had the Louvre evacuated, a seagull pooped on me at Tuileries Garden (I plan to return and track it down Moby-Dick style), I slept on the tray table on the way home and now I have back problems

I'm a little bit sad to be home because, let's face it, this is Perth