Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Me versus wild!

Osso bucco ahoy!

I recall reading somewhere* that the ultimate test of those super-fit, SAS types is to be parachuted naked into the wilds and live off the land for a set time.

If I was parachuted naked into the wilds of Melbourne, I’d probably be attested for indecent exposure.

If, however, I was parachuted fully clothed with $150 in my kick into the wilds of Melbourne, I’m pretty confident I could find my way to the Italian Waiters Club and organise a slap-up feast and a couple of bottles of red.

There’s something in that for us all.

Also – can we just accept we’re shit at soccer and move on?

It really will save a lot of time.

*And if people would hurry up and fix my fucking glasses, I could look it up.

24 comments:

Kettle said...

I'll have none of your osso buco, Sir. Not in my newly minted vegetarian state.

I would, however, be happy to help with those bottles of red wine.

Question: can vegans drink wine? (not that I'm vegan, just curious (and procrastinating)).

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Vegans can't drink the cheap stuff Kettle.

Which is good news if you're not buying.

And I'm pretty sure Little Cretures would be out as well.

patchouligirl said...

My house wasn't a bad place to be parachuted into over the weekend for a feed. Rather than go away we hibernated, cooked up a storm and watched season 2 of 'the Tudors' on dvd. The King of France and the Duke of Suffolk are hot (!!!) and they managed to avoid dying so I can look forward to seeing them again in series 3 with some enthusiasm.

My new pet names for the Johns brothers: 'the rapist' and 'the racist'. Their Mum must be so proud.

Jamie said...

I'm tipping the Johns boys knew how to keep that bitch in line.

We had the most delicious chicken, bacon and mushroom pie with a potato haloumi cheese bake for dinner on Saturday night. Caz and I did a two-hander in the kitchen and were most pleased with the result.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I can't cook with somebody else in the kitchen - it inhibits the creative process.

It also makes it more difficult to scull the cooking sherry.

Jamie said...

Not if you're both guzzling the sherry.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Good point!

come.to.mumma said...

"Their Mum must be so proud."

Sadly, their mother's probably a big part of the reason the rapist and racist are the way they are.

squib said...

If you parachute me somewhere with cheese and bread and whisky (single malt please - oh! and my polar fleece dressing gown) I will give those SAS types a run for their money

catlick said...

Off topic, but I need to say it because I can no longer ignore the procession of slightly clever kids lathered in undue adulation on the Inventors; could someone please point to them out the difference between inventing something and building something.

Kettle said...

Squib, you could use your dressing gown as a parachute which would leave more room for a whole backpack of cheese and bread and whiskey.

And dear Catlick, any chance you've got something tucked away at home that you've invented? Sick of those pesky kids hogging all the air-time with their 'builds'? Tell us what you've invented and we'll adulate you!

(And possibly steal your patent; either or both.)

Mr E Discharge said...

Catlick,
As someone who has appeared on The New Inventors, I second that. Fucking kids!

catlick said...

And dear Catlick, any chance you've got something tucked away at home that you've invented?


"please point to them out"

Yeah, a grammar "way-back" machine that makes me look less of a dunce.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Your polar fleece dressing gown Squib?

You live in Freemantle!

I'm chipping the ice off my windscreen!

Puss In Boots said...

I have a heater going under my desk, and I live in Brisbane...

squib said...

Kettle, excellent idea! Are you really, really sure my dressing gown would work as a parachute?

Ramon, I do not believe you have ice on your windscreen

Puss, snap!

catlick said...

If you parachute me somewhere with cheese and bread...
This sounds a bit "Allo 'Allo" and my dear friend Cliff Hanger (dresser, Second Act "Elocution Of Benjamin Franklin") is working on a stage revival. He's buying bolts of polar fleece from Dimmeys as we speak.

Alex said...

Ramon, It might just be that I don't go to restaurants, but that picture doesn't give me an impression of $150 worth of food.

Puss, I'm in Brisbane at the moment. My little travel thermometer is telling me it's 23°. The windows are shut, but I'm not wearing anything more than a singlet and t-shirt. Is it colder where you are?

Catlick, for those of us who don't watch The Inventors, could you maybe give an example or two? I did read about the infinitely variable transmission system which was apparently on the show recently. I thought that was pretty neat.

Mr E, what manner of thing did you invent? Or were you like, a host or something?

Boogeyman said...

How long are you in Brisbane for, Alex?

Also, the cold is not bugging me quite as much as the dryness of our winters. I feel like a Moroccan pretzel dipped in a dry martini.

Alex said...

I don't know, Boogeyman. I've still got a bit to do, here. Personally, I like dry winters. I'd take dry summers too, if I could. I'm just not a fan of high humidity. It bugs me when I have to wipe condensation off my specs every five minutes.

Boogeyman said...

Well if you're around for a few days email me and we'll catch up sometime.

Alex said...

I can be a bit of an unsocial shut-in these days, Boogey, but thanks very much for the offer. I'll keep it in mind and see how it goes.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'm scraping something off the windscreen, Squib.

I thought it was ice.

Puss In Boots said...

Puss, I'm in Brisbane at the moment. My little travel thermometer is telling me it's 23°. The windows are shut, but I'm not wearing anything more than a singlet and t-shirt. Is it colder where you are?

No. 23 is cold. Anything below 25 is penguin-temperature, as far as I'm concerned.

But it has gotten down to the teens in the mornings, recently. That's when I bring out the hat, gloves, scarf, tights, and trench coat.