Monday, November 22, 2010

I'm back comrades! Did you miss me?

"Honestly, I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit a better media release than that!"

I’m back, but my back still isn’t 100 per cent so I’m stalking the halls with my trusty walking stick*, snarling at people who get in my way**.

In fact, based on my recent experiences, I’m writing a screen play about a brilliant, grumpy cunt with a walking stick and alcohol and drug issues.

I’m thinking of calling it Brilliant, grumpy cunt with a walking stick.

Catchy, eh?

* And this isn’t one of those wimpy aluminium walking sticks you see about town these days. This is a good, solid lump of wood that says “get off my front lawn, you kids”.

** Which I tend to do anyway. But now I’m got a reason.

26 comments:

Melba said...

Oh yay Ramon happy to see you.

That bloody back!

wari lasi said...

Welcome back mate. Not existing on pain killers I hope.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Of course I'm existing on pain killers.

That's the fun part!

squib said...

What a spooky coincidence, Ramon. Last night on our way to see The Basics, I was discussing walking sticks and how they are *very cool in a Willy Wonka kind of way

*with the exception of those wimpy aluminium ones, especially with floral design

Lewd Bob said...

I missed you cos I've been wracking my brains trying to think of inane shit to blog about.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Oddly enough Bob, over the past two weeks or so I've been thinking

"I must blog this"

Ow,ow,ow.

"I must blog this"

Ow,ow,ow.

"I must blog this"

Ow,ow,ow.

"I must blog this"

Ow,ow,ow.

Lewd Bob said...

I just re-read my comment and need to point out that I was by no means suggesting that you blog about inane shit, Ramon.

Kettle said...

Welcome back mate

Nice pun, Wari!

Kettle said...

Also, hurrah you have returned Ramon.

Now, what are you going to do about that lost PSF? Wari and I are waiting, you know.

squib said...

I want a refund!

Lord Gravy said...

House's best work was on Blackadder.

Brendan O'Reilly said...

Sorry about your back Ramon. Did I ever tell you about my sore back experience? I found an osteopath who is an absolute genius and she...no, just stirring.

Back pain is God's way of saying "Who said you could walk upright! Did I say you could wak upright? Nobody else is doing it, why are you so special?"

And thanks for naming my blog for me.

Brendan

Brendan O'Reilly said...

Sorry about your back Ramon. Did I ever tell you about my sore back experience? I found an osteopath who is an absolute genius and she...no, just stirring.

Back pain is God's way of saying "Who said you could walk upright! Did I say you could wak upright? Nobody else is doing it, why are you so special?"

And thanks for naming my blog for me.

Brendan

Kettle said...

Hey Brendan, which of your blogs did Ramon name?

Cheers.

patchouligirl said...

I hope your back makes a full and speedy recovery Ramon. Love Prince George in Blackadder "socks are like sex, plenty of it about but I never seem to get any".

Kettle said...

Ramon darn it all now I find myself with a back injury!

But in a perfect reversal of your situation I'm finding beer (Beez Neez - medicinal) is the salve not the cause.

Ah beer. Is there nothing you cannot salve?

Lewd Bob said...

God beer's awesome.

Kettle said...

Hey Bob, are you starting to gather notes for your 'Best of 2010' compilation?

At the risk of starting a stampede, can I put in a pre-order?

Mr E Discharge said...

I’m stalking the halls

Just because one chooses to stop posting, there's no reason to take it out on the whole family.

Welcome back!

eat my shorts said...

Ramon!

Missed you!

Garn, post a photo of your stick. You know you want to.

P.S. I hurt myself last week! (Just looking for some sympathy, 'cause ... well, 'cause it hurts! And my flatmate is a cunt and still wants me to do the washing up - one handed!)

I went to the English equivalent of an RSL last Friday night (I want to say the Legionnaire's Club, but that's not quite right, it has something to do with Legions and a Club, but I don't think they have legionnaire's ... someone Google it and help me out here) where pints could be purchased for two pounds (!).

Now I have a graze on my left knee (healing nicely, with a bright purple/yellow bruise + extra bump) and graze on the palm of my left hand (which sucks arse because I'm left handed. You'll notice I can still type and I'd like you all to notice further that I am NOT typing one handed. Yep. Working through the pain. Ouch.)

So. Yes. Can I warn you all against two pound pints in London? Just say no.

eat my shorts said...

P.S. I have photos of the injuries if you want to see them, but they're only on Facebook.

Don't worry, I waited until the pus subsided before taking photos.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

God beer's awesome.

God's beer is pretty ace, too.

Lewd Bob said...

can I put in a pre-order?

Yes. However I may decide on a digital only delivery system, Kettle.

squib said...

Well EMS I CARE about your injury! Yes I do. Poor, POOR EMS, everyone

Kettle, you are such a scab

Lewd, can you put my name down too? I can send you one with mostly recent stuff on it, including a song from a very special CD that you can only order from one record shop in Australia - it came in a handpainted wooden case and if you tip it, the CD falls out. Neat. It will also include a song from a CD that I got for Mr.Squib for Chrissy. Rip before you wrap!!

Kettle said...

Sorry to hear about your injuries, EMS. I think beer is your salve too; salve away with some more beer, dear EMS!

Kettle, you are such a scab

Squib that does more to make me feel young again than any beer salve could.

eat my shorts said...

Well EMS I CARE about your injury! Yes I do. Poor, POOR EMS, everyone

Thank you, that's just the sympathy I was after.

Sorry to hear about your injuries, EMS. I think beer is your salve too; salve away with some more beer, dear EMS!

Beer and I are having a trial separation. Let's just see how long it is before beer comes crawling back, begging me to get back together with it.