It's What Tomorrow?
St Patrick's Day is, I suppose, again coming up on 17 March. It's an excuse for everyone to get out and drink heavily at their local Irish-themed pub. These pubs are usually pretty shit. But they do serve fine beer, who could deny it?
Now I do love the Irish, their accents and their little drink Guinness (the greatest ingestible product known to man), but I'm wondering why we don't celebrate other national and/or saints' days. The most logical one, given this country's English ethnic majority, would be St George's Day on 23 April. Maybe everyone could drink gallons of warm brown ale. Or perhaps Scotland's St Andrew's day on 30 November could be an excuse for imbibing whiskey by the pint. What about St David's Day on 1 March for the Welsh? I propose drinking Gwin a Bragawd.
Then there's the Ukrainians, the Bolivians and the Kenyans. The Guatemalans, the Danes and the Mongolians. The Turks.
Depending on who you ask, there are somewhere between 192 and 195 countries in the world. I propose celebrating each of them with equal enthusiasm, which means we have a reason to drink heavily on up to 53% of all days across a single year. And if two of them coincide, one should be reallocated to a day that isn't currently celebrated. I like the idea of an even spread. This could be decided by a game of 'paper, rock, scissors' by the competing countries' presidents. Best out of 5.