Haven't done one of these for a while, and there's good reason for it. You see, I had to stop blogging, because, well, I had nothing to say about anything important, or if I did have something to say about something important, what I had to say wasn't important. In the absence of brevity of thought, I resorted to blogging about my girl problems which I tried to tell myself was cathartic, but really, it wasn't. It was tabloid blogging at its worst, attention-seeking trash, but when I hit the 200+ comments mark on some of my more outlandish weekend wraps I kept at it; letting you all into my ludicrous bachelor life and the stupid situations I got myself into.
I can't remember exactly which blog it was, but at one point, when bemoaning my latest dalliance with the 3-year-long on-again off-again Ponygirl, some bloggers here decided to barrage me with insults and humiliations. "Pathetic loser" was the general tone of the comments, which I took to heart, because I didn't feel like a pathetic loser at all. In fact, I felt good about myself, even though things weren't going as I planned or wanted. And so to avoid further insults, I stopped blogging about it.
But, it's been about six months so I thought I'd update you on my girl-situation.
PONYGIRL: Haven't spoken to her since October and she can get fucked and I loathe her. There was an incident... I was thoroughly depressed for about 3 months.
SONGSTRESS: Became a good friend, somewhere in amidst all that. We catch up monthly, and talk weekly. She's now dating another somewhat-rockstar who some of you will know (well, you might know the band if you're JJJ inclined, but he's not the singer).
PONYGIRL II: You don't know her, but she's a girl who happens to have the same name as Ponygirl. She picked me up at a gig. She's 20, and was my lover for two months (Dec-Jan) and because of the 21-year age gap there was no way on Earth I was going to blog about it, because you were all going to yell at me.
MISS MIRROR-ME: You don't know her either, but she's a 30 year old who listens to 774, likes footy, drinks coffee and red wine, smokes cigarettes, reads literature and poetry, wants babies one day and has no interest in back-packing, ie: a mirror of me. We went on four dates and it just fizzled. I was a little upset, but then, even though we had heaps in common, for some reason, our conversation was always awkward, so it didn't really matter. She was into astrology anyway, which I think is a sign of retardation, and according to her sister, I apparently wasn't 'blokey' enough for her. Still, she was a nice girl, and we occasionally chat.
**
Stranger things have happened but I can't name one. It was early March and I had to head to Melbourne for 5 days and needed a house-sitter. I asked around town and someone said, "Oh,
Legs 11 is back from Canada and is staying in a hotel room for a couple of weeks before moving into a house. You should ask her!" Now, Legs 11 was a girl I knew from around town a couple of years ago. She lived in my town for a year. I always referred to her as 'that cute chick with the great legs", but I never spoke to her beyond "Hi there". After a year of ogling her, I decided to ask her on a date, but just as I was about to do that, I heard that she had quit her job and was moving to Canada, so I gave up on that.
A year later, and suddenly she's back! And so, I asked her if she could house-sit for a week and she was keen. She came around to check out the house so I could run her through how to feed the cats and play a DVD and all that. I offered her a wine. We drank two bottles. Then we got on to the port. At 1am we went skinny-dipping, and, well, aside from a bit of status confusion in the first few weeks, we've been an 'item' ever since. Yes indeed, strangely enough, and at the expense of entertaining blogging, I appear to have a girlfriend. It sunk in over the weekend when I realised we keep toiletries and pyjamas at each other's house.
Legs 11 is 29, likes kayaking and gossip mags, doesn't smoke, hates footy, watches Glee, wants to get married in a Catholic Church, wants to climb Everest, can't cook and listens to Lady Gaga and other pop acts. We have NOTHING in common.
But wait, that's wrong. We do have a lot in common. You see, the advice nobody ever gave me was this: Having social, religious, political or artistic things in common means nothing. What matters is having emotional, moral and temperamental things in common. On that, we appear to be perfectly aligned. Hell, even our sleeping patterns are aligned. We both had happy childhoods. It's these intangibles that make it so perfect, for now. So much so, that her blog-name has been promoted from Legs 11 to Andromeda 4.0 (Andromeda for short). Wish me luck.
In other news, GO TIGES!