Thursday, May 5, 2011

This just in - Waterworld still shit.

You're a baldy git, Costner.

You know those films, those big budget flops that mature over time and become half-way decent.

I’m here to report that I watched Waterworld on one of the digital channels the other night and it was still shit.

The cat wandered in half-way and you could tell by the body language that even she thought it was shit.

So I stayed up until Dennis Hopper appeared, then went to bed.

Verdict – it was shit.

Apart from Dennis Hopper


Kettle said...

At least you were on top of the fact Waterworld was shit the first time you saw it, Ramon.

It was 15 years before the delusion that Ladyhawke was the greatest film ever passed for me; that's a long time to say a lot of shit about how good a film I thought it was. In hindsight I'm surprised my friends and family didn't stage an intervention for me. Bloody bastards.

Mr E Discharge said...

It could have been worse. Marieke Hardy could have written it.

Melba said...

I'm not falling for that one again Mr E. We're getting on at the moment.

Kettle said...

Ha ha, Mr E! Shit, then I'd really have something to be sore with my friends and family about.

Mr E Discharge said...

We're getting on at the moment.

Yeah, I know. Are you frightened too?

Anonymous said...

Don't feel bad about Ladyhawke, Kettle; it was wonderfully bad. And I'm sure your friends and family would've staged an intervention if they weren't so busy laughing behind your back.

As for Mad Max With Boats, I wonder how it would've went if they'd released it as a modern-day trilogy package, rather than trying to edit it down from its (supposed) original run time of five or six hours. Would've been nice if they'd gone with music that didn't sound like a Spielberg/Disney adventure, too.

That reminds me, Kettle; did your Ladyhawke fixation extend to buying the award winning soundtrack, as well?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Ladyhawke Kettle!?


Everybody point at Kettle and laugh.

Kettle said...

Everybody point at Kettle and laugh.

Ramon there's nothing anyone could say to me about Ladyhawke that Mr Kettle hasn't already. Similarly pointing and laughing.

But go on, I'm having a quiet afternoon, pot-shots most welcome (provided they're withering and hilarious).

And Alex, I stopped short of the soundtrack; surprising, yes?

squib said...

Waterworld wasn't too bad although I wouldn't watch it again

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'm an incurable optimist, Squib.

Saw Waterworld on the television a few years ago, thought it was shit, saw it was coming up on digital and thought I'd give it a second chance.

Turns out, I was right the first time.

eat my shorts said...

I knew this film was shit when I first saw Kevin Costner wearing a colander on his head.

I don't give a frick what the film is supposed to be about, if the lead actor is wearing a colander, I'm not likely to take it seriously.

Anonymous said...

If you get the urge again in another few years, Ramon, you might want to hunt up the "Ulysses Cut Revised Edition", put together from various different "official" editions, by some character called Zaaacharias. It's probably a little closer to that "halfway-decent" mark you mentioned.

EMS, do you have to take a movie seriously to enjoy it? If so, I think Dennis Hopper does more to hurt things than any colander.