Friday, November 14, 2008

Sorry, what is it you do again?

"I hope those tits are organic"


It seems Prince Charles has turned 60.

What an odd life he must lead.

He’s one of the world’s richest men, so it’s not like he has to get up and go to work each morning, yet one of his main tasks – to breed – is already behind him.

He can’t pop down to the pub for a quiet pint and ciggie in the beer garden without a gaggle of security bods, spin-doctors, journos, snappers and the odd nutjob following him.

Everything he does and says is scrutinised, yet nothing he does or says is of any value.

The one job he has any training for depends on his mum dying.

He may be called upon to decide the most complex political matters, yet his only qualifications are a) he’s a bloke and b) he’s an Anglican.

He will be forever overshadowed by his more famous ex-wife. In that he’s a bit like Guy Ritchie but at least Guy Ritchie produced one film that wasn’t complete shit.

He’s next in line to be King of Australia, yet he won’t live here.

Each day he must wake up with the lingering thought “What is it I do again?”

Prince Charles. Why?

29 comments:

Aesophia said...

Yay! I'm first to leave a comment! Wooooooooooooooooooo *runs around office *SMACK* and into the doorframe landing heavily on the floor in a heap *gets up trying not to hurt anything and limps back to chair*

So Charlie's 60 eh? Well there you go. My grandparents had their 60th wedding anniversary in September. The correlation? Nothing but the number. Although my grandparents received a nicely embossed card from the queen congratulating them.

I think I need another coffee.

Aesophia said...

Or is that Queen? Is she a proper noun?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Form is "the Queen" - proper noun.

Please note, this is not an invitation to turn this post into a long discussion about syntax.

Aesophia said...

I wouldn't dream of it, it was more of a vague afterthought after I'd clicked the 'publish your comment' button... Let's concentrate on the 60 thing... and the royalty don't actually do anything thing :)

Louche said...

It appears he has upset the children of New Zealand too.

Speaking of Guy Ritchie, I have a Madonna joke for you.

When Madonna first moved to England she said she wanted to feel more English.

She is now an unmarried, single mother with three kids from different fathers, one of them black.

Job done

Perseus said...

Don't you go picking on our future King, Ramon.

Give me the Royal Family before a public servant head-of-state any day!

I met Prince Charles (and Di) when I was 14. I won a competition. Charming man.

Greer was right: Di was a vaccuous moron.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Public servants generally have some training before they're appointed to a job, Pers.

The Hitch was right, having an hereditary head of state is as absurd as having hereditary judges or MPs.

Agree about Di, tho'.

Aesophia said...

Nice one Pers! What did you have to do for the competition?

And what did you say/do? I'm curious cos there's so much pomp and ceremony around royalty, not to mention the list of things one must not mention in the presence of royalty is much longer than the list of what one CAN mention...

Perseus said...

It was a High School thing. Our school was picked randomly, then, we all had to do a '25 words or less' reason why we wanted to meet them, and they picked the best three. I can't remember what I wrote, but I'm sure it was brilliant and achingly hilarious.

I broke protocol. I was told not to shake the Prince's hand unless he offerred his hand first. I thought, "Fuck that!" and as he approached I held out my hand. He shook it, so I liked him.

We discussed sailing, polo, the weather and museums. Di shuffled on the spot like an animated merkin, saying nothing.

Aesophia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Did you ask him "what it's like to be a prince", Pers?

Aesophia said...

Wow, what an awesome experience :)

Boogeyman said...

Give me the Royal Family before a public servant head-of-state any day!

I suppose Prince Charles could point out some downsides to that system, like being trained your whole life for a job you'll never do, which you never particularly chose, and you might not like.

Or the bit about not being allowed to marry who you please, but legally only being allowed to marry someone approved by your parents and the church, and thus having less rights than the general population you will (perhaps) someday rule (which you might not actually want to after all).

catlick said...

I've corresponded with a man
Who held the hand
Of the then Prince Of Wales.

squib said...

Persey you're SUCH a name dropper

I don't know, I can't think of Charles without remembering him wanting to be Camilla's tampon. It's a tad off putting

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You're the luckiest of females, catlick.

patchouligirl said...

yet one of his main tasks – to breed – is already behind him There is some debate as the extent of his contribution in that regard.

WitchOne said...

I will never understand why we support a family financially as a country when they do not do a damned thing for us, politically, emotionally, physically, spiritually or any other "ly". We have a bunch of old maids demanding we keep the monarchy but the only reason I can garner from their arguments is because they have a collection of old plates and remember watching a royal visit on TV back in the day.

WTF? Since when did major decisions for our country get made by the over middle aged and over crowd who have lost their sense of realism?

Ohhhhh, I geddit. Scratch that.

catlick said...

"There is some debate as the extent of his contribution in that regard."

Is this what you mean? What would happen if some tabloid ran a test and published? The Tower?

Eveningson said...

What good film did Guy Richie make? Or are yer just ajoshin' us more gullible folks out here.

homesick said...

I will never understand why we support a family financially as a country when they do not do a damned thing for us, politically, emotionally, physically, spiritually or any other "ly". We have a bunch of old maids demanding we keep the monarchy but the only reason I can garner from their arguments is because they have a collection of old plates and remember watching a royal visit on TV back in the day.

Umm Witch if my memory serves me well I recall a national referendum on Monarchy V Republic... the people spoke and they just love having the Queen's head on their currency too much.

Didn't Turnbull have something to do with the Monarchy campaign?

Boogeyman said...

if my memory serves me well I recall a national referendum on Monarchy V Republic... the people spoke and they just love having the Queen's head on their currency too much.

Didn't Turnbull have something to do with the Monarchy campaign?



No, the monarchists, with the help of a certain PM John Winston Howard, split the vote for a republic into three separate votes, those being a) keep the monarchy as head of state, b) have a directly elected president, or c) have a president elected by parliament, thus ensuring that republicans would never get a majority vote. The question should have been framed correctly, as

1) would you like to keep the monarchy as head of state, or have an Australian?, and
2) if an australian, would you like a directly elected president, or one elected by parliament?

If it had been framed that way, the republic vote would have gotten greater than 50%, based on the proportional votes that those options attracted in the actual referendum.

And Turnbull was the head of the Republican movement, not the Monarchists.

Perseus said...

the monarchists, with the help of a certain PM John Winston Howard,

I'll go to my grave saying that Howard was a cunt, but in his 10 years of power he did 3 good things:

1. Rigged the monarchy vote.
2. Kept Costello away from the PM's chair
3. Sent troops to Afghanistan

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

1. Rigged the monarchy vote.
2. Kept Costello away from the PM's chair
3. Sent troops to Afghanistan


1. Can't agree
2. Fuck, yeah
3. Good point.

Also, read Perseus' review of Leviticus over at Perseus Q or I will smite you with seven plagues.

patchouligirl said...

Howard tightened gun laws as well, I liked that.

WitchOne said...

I was living in Tassie when the gun laws was a big deal, my ex was taking in a lot of the guns. THERE Are guns hidden in the foundations of houses all over Australia.

Stubbadub said...

What good film did Guy Richie make? Or are yer just ajoshin' us more gullible folks out here.

I would say he did 2 good films, Lock Stock and Snatch. Sure they are basically the same movie, but has I liked the first one I had no problems with the second one.

patchouligirl said...

Its always going to be difficult to police but there is no reason why anyone should have a semi automatic weapon in their cupboard and I liked that Howard made it law and removed a lot of guns. I much prefer what we've got to the American example and who'd have thought? Less guns, less people getting shot.

Melba said...

stubbadubb, I liked Lock, Stock and was all ready to like Snatch but I couldn't understand anything anyone said in that movie.