Disclaimer 1: Yes, I know that Islamic terrorists comprise like 0.00000001% of the Muslim population.
Disclaimer 2: Yes, I know that Western nations over the course of history have plundered other nations.
Disclaimer 3: Yes, I know that this post seems anti-Islamic, but I want to make it clear that it is not Islamic religion or belief under attack here, it is the behaviour of a small group of psychopaths within the Islamic community.
Whether it be 9/11, the Bali Bombing, the Spanish rail bombing or the latest carnage in India, the common denominator is violent Muslims, perpetrating unspeakable atrocities upon innocent people in the name of God and their religion.
The invisible and dubiously existent hegemony will have me call these people 'terrorists', or even more insidious than that is the post-modern variant, 'insurgents', a word that does nothing but muddy the news to the point that we don't know what the hell is happening in Iraq or Afghanistan and who is fighting who and why.
I join Christopher Hitchens in calling these people what they are: religious.
Make no mistake - they think they are doing God's work. They think they will be rewarded in heaven. It says so in the Old Testament, and in the Koran.
No doubt in the coming days we'll have a series of people popping up in the media defending the Muslim community, and a whole bunch of peaceful, reasonable Muslims defending their brothers and sisters by creating a berth wider than the Grand Canyon around what they believe and what those nasty terrorists believe.
Enough is enough, I say. If a player on a football field does something wrong, the whole team has to take the fall. Likewise, if an apocalyptic and psychopathic Islamic group goes about slaughtering innocent people, the whole Islamic community need to fucking sort it out. Are you a Muslim and not a terrorist? Good. Use your influence to weed out these pathetic morons and anyone who supports them. Denounce them. Kick them out of your mosques. Pull down their places of worship. Do not offer them solace. They are PSYCHOPATHS and you created them - yes, you, Islam.
You know, it's a crazy inverse relationship we have with Muslims. Everytime one group of Muslim psychos blow something up, for some reason we have to like other Muslims even more... Mark my words - at some point soon Ruddy will have to come out and say something nice about Muslims. If it keeps going like this, if some Jihadist fuckface blows up a small nation, we'll have to kiss the feet of moderate Muslims and give them money and season tickets to Bell Shakespeare. ENOUGH! Hey, Muslims: Take responsibilty for your religion.
Don't blame America, don't blame the British cos of what they did 50 years ago, don't blame western imperialism, don't blame poverty. What your bretheren have done is sickening, disgusting, sub-human and totally fucked, and they chose to do it themselves, and they did it in your name, and your God's name.
The calm, reasonable, likeable and peaceful Muslims in Australia need to fire up a bit. They need to kick some heads - internally. I say to them: I respect your right to your religious belief, but in return for that religious belief, you owe me, him, her and them the chance to sleep safely at night.
I can't fix it, but you can, because you have access to these people within your religious administration.
So fucking fix it.
Oh... and Christians? Don't think you're escaping my tirade either. The Mumbai killers believe in God. So do you. Believe me, you are much more alike to these terrorists than I am. Your beliefs are essentially the same - all you differ on is the interpretation of God's specific will.
This is as much a religious problem as it is an Islamic one. So don't go trying to distance yourself too far from these terrorists you weasels. This is what fervent God-believing does to people, and you're as much to blame as anyone, given that the Old Testament started all this.
Abraham, dudes. Abraham. You lot share him.
I'm Captain Kneejerk, sleep tight kiddies.