Monday, July 13, 2009

Monday Sports Wrap

What an awesome sporting weekend!

First up, The Ashes, which came down to the last few overs but unfortunately ended in a draw. There's players we can point fingers at, such as Michael Hussey, whose sacking I was calling for pre-tour and managed only three runs. But, although he proved again that he is one of the best batsmen ever, Captain Knucklehead for some reason decided he'd put Marcus North in for a bowl when England were nine wickets down and we only had a few overs left. The English tail poked and prodded North all over the Welsh countryside and managed to see the day out. The ghost of Dylan Thomas laughed at us. Siddle was on fire, Johnson, though bowling erratically, was still capable of taking off their heads, but no, Ponting, with his inbred Tasmanian low IQ problem, put in a part-timer and we end up with a draw. Ah well, at least there was some argey bargey... I missed it but apparently Johnson and Siddle got their backs up and were hurling abuse at the pommy batsmen. Johnson went chest to chest with Pietersen and after Siddle whacked a player with a bouncer, he sledged him for getting medical attention. That's the spirit.

Tour de France was also awesome, though Cadel Evans got fucked up the arse by a group of nine breakaway riders who refused to let him ride with them. I couldn't be bothered explaining the nuances of this - tactically its complex and unless you sit and watch the race it makes no sense, but know this: Evans was fucked up the arse after attempting one of the bravest moves in recent Tour history. He probably won't win the Tour because of it, but he will take home the moral victory. One thing I do love about Cadel Evans is that like Ian Botham, when interviewed, he avoids sporting cliches and actually speaks his mind. He could have said "Oh, that's racing, I'll just have to concentrate on the next stage..." but no, he said of the incident, ""Ah ... I just get so sick of being told: 'Why don't you go in an early breakaway? Why don't you do this? Why don't you do that? You'd think anyone in the Tour de France would let me go in a breakaway, and then when they get into a break with me ... they carry on like three-year-olds with their tantrums.".

The footy was also fantastic. Though Richmond appears to be tanking and wouldn't beat the Lorne Under 12's, it's exciting to see some of the younger players show a bit of dash. Though we like our footy players with names like Barry, Ian and Kevin, the next generation of Tiger stars are called Trent, Jayden and Robin. Pooncey names, but exciting prospects. I've never actually said that of Richmond for 25 years... And Ben Cousins? Wow. Fucking starring. We at least got that one right at Tigerland. Geelong losing was also intriguing to watch. Yes, they were missing half their stars, but even so, it's Geelong. You just assume they'll win, but now they've lost two in a row. Some are calling their demise, but I'm going the opposite. Hear this: They will be unbeatable in September. Also, the Hawthorn v North match was the best one to watch because it was like the 1970's. It hailed, the players were covered in mud, it was low scoring... Awesome. Finally, Barry Hall gave up. I'll miss him. It was like having Vyvyan from The Young Ones on the Swans team - mindless violence was always an option, and that was half the fun of watching Swans games.

In other news: Mark Someone, an Australian, won some car race thingamy. I'll leave it to ShitBMX to comment rapturously on that piece of triva. And at the pub last night for Mermaid's 20th birthday, I got into a game with some locals where you had to think of film titles and change the last word to 'cunt'. So, The Bourne Identity becomes the Bourne Cunt. Dead Poet's Cunt. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Cunt. Full Metal Cunt. For some reason, the game spread across the party and it was played for hours with much enthusiasm by all. This is the reason one should never make any life decisions when drunk.

22 comments:

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

"got fucked up the arse"

Is that the actual phrase?

What an interesting event the Tour de France is.

The First Test was an absolute cracker. Who would have thought the Poms had it in them to hold out for a draw.

This is why I love Test cricket.

Perseus said...

"Is that the actual phrase?"

Yes, but they say it in French, which makes it sound classy.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

"Je voudrais un sandwich à fromage svp"

By gum, you're right!

Fad MD said...

Thanks for this Pers.

I could rail on and on about Punter and his captaincy. Bowling North was a masterstroke of fucking stupidity, but it's pretty much what we've come to expect. The first innings bowling and field placements were the difference in the end though. We should have got them out far sooner and then it would have been all over red rover.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Punter's having a bit of a sook about the Poms "not playing in the spirit of the game"

What, by failing to fall for your cunning plan, Ricky?

Perseus said...

In fact, just saying 'fucked him up le arse' already improves it.

Fad - Maybe there's nobody else in the team that's any good with field placements. Or maybe it's just because it would be destabilising to sack him as captain because, really, he's that fucking good at batting that you'd be reluctant to do anything that might upset him. Fuck he's poetry to watch at the crease.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Ponting, with his inbred Tasmanian low IQ problem,

And EMS is going to have your guts for garters for that crack.

Fad MD said...

Not hassling his batting at all. I can still remember watching him in a state game played in Canberra as one of the dozen or so spectators and the sound the ball made coming off his bat was truly superb.

I think it's more the way he handles the bowlers than the field placements. He seems to handle them like he would like to face them as a batsman, and that's ... notso effective.

wari lasi said...

Ramon, you beat me to it. School went back in Queensland today, I wonder if they're still off in Tassie. I don't think she'll be pleased when she looks in.

And Pers, no mention of the Dogs Pies clash. That was a great match.

Angie66 said...

And the Melbourne Vixens trounced some New Zealand team to go into the netball grand final.

Just flying the flag for "girl sport"...I think they are actually pretty awesome, and I'm well known among friends for my indifference to sport.

eat my shorts said...

Ponting, with his inbred Tasmanian low IQ problem,

And EMS is going to have your guts for garters for that crack.


We all hate Ponting down here too. That is, those of us without inbred low IQ problems think he's a muppet. It is, admittedly a small group.

Ok, it might just be me.

School went back in Queensland today, I wonder if they're still off in Tassie.

School's been back for a few weeks now. But I'm a relief teacher these days, so I'm not always at work. Thank fucking christ.

Perseus said...

Angie, I don't get netball. When you get the ball you have to stop running. That goes against every sporting and natural instinct. But I'm certainly not guilty of being anti-girl in the sporting arena here at TSFKA, particularly when it comes to tennis and track & field.

EMS: I actually think it was the others (Ramon and Wari) that insinuated you were an inbred Tasmanian, not I. It never occurred to me that you would be offended, but those guys, sheesh, suddenly they're all 'watch out for EMS' and shit.

shitbmxrider said...

In other news: Mark Someone, an Australian, won some car race thingamy. I'll leave it to ShitBMX to comment rapturously on that piece of triva.

You rang?

Ah, it's about time all the moons aligned for Webber... It has mostly been a sucession of fuckups in choosing which team he went to at any given time, which meant he ended up with utter dogs of cars with less reliability than any Alfa I have ever owned(lots..and not very)

Will be interesting to see how the rest of the season pans out.. with the 'yesterdays heros' of Ferrari and McLaren seemingly unable to run with the Brawn Mercedes(unbeatable early in the year) or the Red Bull Renault(which seems to have caught and surpasessed the Brawn)

I take it your not a motorsport fan, Pers?

Never mind, I find cricket insufferable...ill stick to my side, you to yours

In other other news, went to Etihad on Friday night to watch the Collingwood vs Bulldogs game...well, wasn't that a fucking stressful last quarter for the black and white faithful(which I am one of)

wari lasi said...

Pers, naughty naughty.

SBMXr - I watched the game on TV. I'd tipped the Dogs tragically. But the last quarter was spent walking around the loungeroom, classic stuff.

EMS - Don't they call it "supply work"? Mrs L had to go to a literacy (fuck I hope I've spelt that correctly!) course (some in service thing) for two weeks and she said what really stuck in her craw was that the teacher taking her kids while she was away was getting paid way more than her.

Perseus said...

My problem with motorsport BMX is that quite often, the manufacturer with the most amount of money wins. But the driver is the 'star'. It doesn't make sense. They're all good drivers, so really, the ultimate test would be to put them all in exactly the same car. Or, failing that, reduce the celebrity of the driver and instead celebrate the car.

Horse-racing provides the template for this. All the jockeys are good riders, but it's the horse, mainly, that wins you the race, and thus, Makybe Diva is more well known than Glen Boss.

Then again, over the last two years, I've noticed that the results in F1 are becoming more wide and varied which is great, and it means I'll take more interest. Back a few years ago, the races were far too predictable.

I was happy for Webber. Winning an F1 race is a big deal - and I believe it's Australia's first winner for something like 28 years, so good on him. The fact it's in a fucking Renault makes it even more interesting. French cars! Yuk. What's uglier than a Citroen? Not much.

*

There was a sign in the office I worked at in Athens that read:

HEAVEN is where...
* The police are English
* The cooks are French
* The mechanics are German
* The lovers are Greek, and
* It's all organised by the Swiss

HELL is where...
* The police are German
* The cooks are English
* The mechanics are French
* The lovers are Swiss, and
* It's all organised by Greeks

Boogeyman said...

The lovers are Greek in heaven?

Or the lovers like going 'Greek' in heaven?

wari lasi said...

The lovers are Greek

I like the rest of heaven, but not that one. With the women you have to be specific about which part of Greece that they're from, and the men, well, you know their fabled preference. It's not a big percentage of women that are into that. In my limited experience anyway.

I'm with you with Mark Webber, it was great to see him finally have a win.

Perseus said...

Athenian women... the best! Taboos? None.

social disaster said...

I started losing interest in cricket when Warnie and McGrath retired. Gilly retiring was pretty much the last straw and now Symonds* is gone I'm feeling a bit "meh" by it all. If they fuck Mark Nicholas off from the Channel 9 commentary team I may regain some interest but otherwise, meh.

*In ODI's. Should never have played test cricket.

eat my shorts said...

It never occurred to me that you would be offended, but those guys, sheesh, suddenly they're all 'watch out for EMS' and shit.

It hadn't occurred to me to be offended either. I thought it was pretty clear you were calling Ponting inbred, not me.

If it was me as the captain of the Australian cricket team, you'd all have a lot more to worry about than an alleged inbred low IQ.

Don't they call it "supply work"? ... she said what really stuck in her craw was that the teacher taking her kids while she was away was getting paid way more than her.

Some places it's called supply others it's subbing (as in substitute teaching), but it's usually called relief down here (I like to think it's because when you rock up to do the work everyone is relieved to see you ... or something).

Yeah, the pay is grouse. Best decision I ever made was to quit my job and do this instead. Loves it.

Melba said...

It's called casual relief teaching here in Victoria, used to be emergency teaching.

And are you loving the minimal preparation and marking, and complete lack of meetings, planning, curriculum development and having to deal with psycho/annoying colleagues as well?

The money is good, but it's not the best thing about it.

Are you getting much work? Things are very quiet here in the Swine Flu Capital of Austrlalia. You would think it would be otherwise...

eat my shorts said...

I so don't miss the extra crap that goes along with the job. I miss some of my friends from work and it's hard walking into a new school where you don't know anyone, but I've had some regular work at one school now, so that's getting easier.

It's made the hugest change to my quality of life, I'm actually looking after myself better, eating properly, exercising every day. I used to be too exhausted to do that beforehand. At the start I did feel guilty for not being at work full-time, but I figure not having a life for six years must have earnt me some time to do what I want.

Also, when the kids shit me (which they inevitably do), it doesn't matter, because I don't have to see them every fucking day.

People ask me if I'm looking for full-time work at the moment and I have to stop myself from laughing in their faces.

Last week was busy for relief because the National English conference was in town, so lots of teachers were taking the opportunity to get a bit of PD. I'm told first term there's less work about (we only have 3 terms down here).