Monday, February 8, 2010

Perseus's Pathetic Lovelife - Special Edition

I know I said I wouldn’t post all my dating woes again, but, this one seems right to post because it’s about Love of my Life, Ponygirl. Because you all know of her, it’s permissible to give an update, I feel.

For those of you who don’t know of her, here’s the summary. I met her three years ago. Her boss asked me to mentor her in a field in which I am proficient in (stage management). She became my protégé and pet-project. She was a natural at the skill, and I enjoyed teaching her, and on top of all that, she was hot. She had a boyfriend though so I didn’t really think beyond that.

Two years ago she landed a massive show, a touch out of her league, and I gave her a lot of help in the lead up. The day before the show, she rang in a panic, saying she was worried it would fall apart and asked if I could come into Melbourne to be with her as it took place. I went in and just stood next to her, giving support. She pulled it off. Then she took me for a drink, and confessed that one of the reasons she had panicked was because she had split up with her boyfriend earlier that week, and it was All Too Much. We had some more drinks, and, well, I suddenly decided she was ‘the one’ and two years later I haven’t altered that opinion.

We had some dates, but I was a rebound interest. She promptly got back with her boyfriend, as often happens. Not only that, she moved overseas with him, and I moped. Then, she dumped him again and came back to Australia, but not to Melbourne. Instead she moved to the family farm, 9 hours drive from my place. We hardly talked. I finally got over her and started dating a girl. Two days after agreeing to be this new girl's boyfriend, Ponygirl turned up at my house. We commenced an affair and I dumped my girlfriend - the whole sorry story is documented here. The affair was short but sweet because alas, she was heading overseas again. The last time I saw her was Black Saturday, documented here.

She came back in December and moved straight back to the farm where she will be staying indefinitely. We had a quick and awkward breakfast in December… both of us hungover, but during that breakfast I booked her into stage-manage a few shows I was producing in January – February, the first of which was in Melbourne; an event we worked on last year as well.

So, the scene is set thusly: Love of my life is coming to work for me for a fortnight, we'll be sharing a hotel room for a few nights, and them moving down to my house for a while. I have no idea how she feels romantically about me. I head into the fortnight with an open mind...

Here’s how my fortnight with Ponygirl went:

Jan 23
We meet on site, run through the program for the next few days. Back to hotel room to check in. Out to dinner in Toorak Rd. We go to a Chinese restaurant and eat pork tendon and chicken feet. I suggest that we should go to a bar, even though we have an early start the next day, on the grounds that our conversation is stilted and we are being far too polite and formal with each other. She agrees. We get smashed at some bar in Prahran. I tell her how much it hurt that after my farm visit I never saw her again for the six weeks before she went overseas. She apologises, but adds that I was the only person that received individual contact whilst she was overseas, aside from family. I then ask if we are going to have sex this year. She gives me an adamant ‘no’ on the grounds that it will be far too confusing, given that she intends to live on the farm, and she doesn’t want the complexity of me in her life for the third year running. We are sharing a bed in the luxury hotel. She is wearing what I refer to as ‘virgin pyjamas’ (head to toe). She tells me she had a Brazillian that day. Sigh. No sex.

Jan 24
We work 7am until 8pm. We go for a burger at Embassy Café in Spencer Street (best after-hours hamburgers in the universe). Back to the hotel room for just one glass of wine each on the balcony of our room. Conversation is fixed on work. To sleep at about midnight in same bed. No sex.

Jan 25
We work 8am until 10pm. After which we are invited to a cocktail function to hob nob with B-list celebrities that we had been working with earlier in the day. Ponygirl gets a little sloshed but I’m designated driver and stay sober. The B-listers are making jokes about celebrities adopting African children. One says, “Maybe there’s a warranty that comes with them,” and everyone laughs. Another says, “Yeah, they need some sort of refund system for defective ones,” and everyone laughs. Ponygirl says, “Or they could have a 90 day ‘try before you buy’ program,” and nobody laughs, and they all turn their heads, and the air could be cut with a knife. She slumps back in her seat. We leave the party, and Ponygirl refers to them as “cunty McCunt Cunts.” She says, “Oh, it’s okay for the celebrities to crack the jokes about African kids, but not me. I used exactly the same joke, but when I say it, it’s racist!” We drink some more on the balcony. She’s fuming. I suggest to her that some sex may calm her down. She rejects the idea. No sex.

Jan 26
We work 8am until 8pm. During the day, we are forced to interact professionally with a fledgling popstar, The Songstress, a stunningly beautiful woman who I went on a date with in December, and have a second date with next week (she was away for most of January, hence the long gap between dates). It was the first time I had seen her since our date, and here I was, interacting with her and Ponygirl in close quarters. Ponygirl knew I had a date with her, but The Songstress, as far as I know, was not aware of my history with Ponygirl. I was hoping that The Songstress would flirt a little with me and make Ponygirl jealous, but because we were all in work mode, there was no flirting. Ponygirl says later, “She likes you a little. Play your cards right and she’s all yours.” I find myself conflicted. I’m a little happy that Ponygirl could be right and something could happen with The Songstress, but unhappy that Ponygirl didn’t seem to care, and was even encouraging the union. After work, another work-related cocktail party, this time with Department heads. Ponygirl avoids being racist. The Songstress rings me to see what I’m up to, and to thank me again for the work. Ponygirl and I head with some other people to Brunswick Street and get sloshed. I note a change in her behavior. Firstly, one of the B-list celebrities from the night before calls her at 1am and begs her to go out with him for a drink. She tells the B-lister that she is with me, and she will not meet up with him. Secondly, the people we are with are mostly her (former) work associates and not mine, and yet, she stays next to me the whole time and gives me all her attention. Maybe the whole Songstress thing worked? We get back to the hotel room and drink even more. It is 2am. We are absolutely drunken. Nothing can happen. We fall into bed. I go to sleep with her tit in my hand. No sex.

Jan 27
We get up early and head back to my house on the coast. I work all day and she relaxes at my house, and gets to know the two cute German backpacker chicks that are staying at my place, Short Kraut and Tall Kraut. That night, Ponygirl teaches me a game called Bananagrams. You use the Scrabble tiles, but not the board. It’s awesome, and if you want the rules I’ll post them. It’s one thing I like about Ponygirl… she likes board games, and so do I, particularly at night with wine and cigarettes. We play for a few hours, then she brings out a ukulele and I bring out a guitar and we have a singalong. We are having a ball. Jeez we get along well. Always have. I ruin the night by blurting out, “Why don’t you love me? We’re perfect for each other! We could at least have sex!” I have spare beds at my place, and she sleeps in one of them. “You need to masturbate more,” she says. No sex.

Jan 28
I’m at work all day. Ponygirl’s bonding with the Small Kraut (who has boy problems) becomes annoying. Small Kraut (aged 20) adopts Ponygirl as a surrogate older sister / mother figure, and that night, I can hardly get a word in. Ponygirl spends the whole night counseling Small Kraut over her boy problems. No sex.

Jan 29
I work all day and Ponygirl cleans my house top to bottom, and even irons my shirts. I tell the Krauts to go out that night and leave us alone. Ponygirl and I go out for dinner, then to a bar. She meets a lot of my local friends and she seems to like them. At 1am we kick on to a small private party, and I notice that Ponygirl is flirting heavily with me. I know her well enough to detect these things. We get back to my house. I say, “You want to have sex, don’t you?” and she says, “Um, yes.” I get all indignant and shit. “Oh, so for a whole week it’s no sex this and no sex that, but now you’re drunk, suddenly sex is alright!” She says, “Yeah… so, how about it?”. “No fucking way !” I say, and go to my own bed which is located on the higher moral ground. No sex.

Jan 30
I awake, thinking, “I am an idiot.” We are both hungover, and lazily laugh about last night. She has to go to Melbourne for a friend’s birthday party. She heads off at lunchtime, and I spend that night sober and relaxed. Meanwhile, she has a blinder in Melbourne.

Jan 31
She returns at tea-time, and we actually have a business meeting because from the next day, her work schedule is enormous. She goes to bed early, so I duck out for a drink with my friend Surfer Joe. He comes back to my place, and Ponygirl gets up and has a drink with us. The two Krauts then come home from a bar, and the five of us are drinking. It is midnight. The two Krauts, very drunk, announce they are going to bed (they share a bed). After they go to bed, Surfer Joe says, “I’d love to have sex with both of them, at the same time.” “Me too,” says Ponygirl. “Ditto,” I say. “How about a 5-way orgy?” says Surfer Joe. We concoct a plan whereby Surfer Joe would go into the room and start it up, and then Ponygirl and I would join in five minutes later. He went in. Ponygirl and I laughed. We were expecting him back out in thirty seconds. Why would two hot 20 year old German girls want to have a threesome with a chubby 33 year old they hardly know? But… five minutes later, he wasn’t out. “Jesus,” I said, “This might be happening.” “Let’s go in,” said Ponygirl. We go into the Krauts’ bedroom. Surfer Joe is pashing Small Kraut. Tall Kraut is either asleep, or pretending to be. Ponygirl and I jump on to the bed. We kind of writhe around a little but tall Kraut is not moving. We sort of laze about for five minutes. Surfer Joe caresses my leg, thinking it is Ponygirl’s. It creates mirth. Ponygirl plays with Tall Kraut’s leg, but she’s not stirring. Ponygirl says, “Well, nothing happening in here…” and gets up and leaves. Surfer Joe says, “Umm, I think Small Kraut is asleep too…” We get up and have a cigarette then Surfer Joe leaves. No orgy. Now, being that Ponygirl was up for the orgy in the first place, you would assume that means she’s maybe up for some sex. I get into her bed. She lets me spoon her, but says, “The spoon is nice, but I’m not putting out…” I fall asleep with my arm around her. No sex.

Feb 1
She works for me in another town 8am-10pm. I work similar hours but back at home. I have put her up in a hotel there. We talk on phone. No sex.

Feb 2
She works in the other town 6am – 8pm. I pick her up at 8pm and we go out for Japanese and a show de-brief. She then invites me back to her hotel room for a wine. I wonder if this means sex. We get back to her hotel. We are sipping wine, smoking cigarettes, talking about work but in a very comfortable and free-flowing manner. The weather is lovely. We hit a sweet spot. Right this second, we are as comfortable as we have ever been, and words are coming out of my mouth but I don’t know what they are because internally I am overwhelmed with swoon. Suddenly she says, “Well, I’m off to bed, good night”. Sigh. No sex.

Feb 3
She works 6am – 7pm on her last day of this show. She has done a sterling job. I am proud of her. We meet up at another show site and travel back to my house. We decide on a bottle of wine on the beach. Very romantic. Unfortunately, in a move I failed to pre-empt, we purchase the bottle from a bar that is managed by Local Love Interest (LLI). I had a crush on LLI last year, but never thought she was interested, and besides, her time in town is limited. She’s passing through for a year, maybe two, but that’s it. But in November, I detected she liked me a little, and so I abandoned all chances of romance in Melbourne and decided to finally, after three and a half years of bachelor coastal living, to pursue a local. It worked. We hooked up. Then she dumped me, citing ‘small town and I won’t be here forever’ reasons. I was shattered. We stayed friends though. Small town. You can’t have grudges or enemies. Anyway, Ponygirl and LLI meet, both very well aware of each other’s place in my life. I squirmed, and they got the ‘nice to meet you’s out of the way in seconds and we ran. Ponygirl and I drank a bottle of wine on the beach and it was beautiful and romantic. I thought, “This is the night.” We got back to my house but Fucken Small and Tall Kraut took over and monopolized her. Before I knew it, all chances of sex were over. No sex.

Feb 4
I work all day, then at night, Ponygirl and I worked at a show. The show goes perfectly and we had fun working side by side. We head back home at about 1am and stop in to see Surfer Joe. He insists we have a drink. We get a little drunk. I realize that I have drunk every night with Ponygirl. I’m not a big drinker, and it’s wearing me down. Tiredness hits. We go back to my house and I can’t keep my eyes open. No sex.

Feb 5
She was supposed to leave, but had decided the night before to stay another night, maybe two. I kick the Krauts out for the night and we are having a lovely time drinking wine and playing Bananagrams, just the two of us. “This is the night we’ll have sex,” I think. “It’s possibly her last night. She asked to stay this extra night. It’s on.” Surfer Joe drops in and offers us ecstacy pills. Ponygirl says yes, so I did too. It’s 1am and we’re high. “Oh, there’ll be sex,” I think. But then the Krauts come home with some boys, and some other people come, and at 2am there is a party in my house. At 3am, Tall Kraut pulls Ponygirl aside to talk about boy problems. They go into the kitchen. I kick everyone out. Then Tall Kraut and Ponygirl go into the Krauts’ bedroom to talk more. I figure, “Ah, just girl talk.. they’ll be out soon.” I wait ten minutes then go for a quick chat. Tall Kraut asks me to find Small Kraut. I go looking but I think she has left with one of the boys. I go back in and say, “Nah, she’s gone. I’m by myself out there. What are you guys doing?”. “Talking,” they say, then stare at me… they obviously don’t want me in there, so I go back out to my kitchen and wait. I sit alone in my kitchen for an hour, on drugs, high as a kite, by myself. I go to bed at 4.30am, sad and angry. No sex.

Feb 6
I have to get up at 7am to take Lord Byron the kitten to the vet. I get back home at 10am and she’s still not up. She gets up at 11am, and finds me sitting all passive aggressively at the outdoor table reading the paper. She asks what’s wrong. I tell her about last night. She apologises profusely, saying she was on drugs and had no idea I was sitting by myself and what time it was. She packs her bags and goes. No sex.

The only good thing was that the Krauts moved out as well. Small Kraut had been with me for three months and I liked her, but once Tall Kraut arrived I wasn’t happy. I have my house back. I slept alone in my house for the first time since November 12, though I slept badly.

Feb 7
Black Saturday anniversary, which is also the anniversary of the last time Ponygirl and I had sex… late at night on her Mallee Farm, on a rug on her lawn. So long ago. I spent the day cleaning the house, passive aggressively.

**

Fuck it was hard. I love the girl so dearly and we get along famously, but living with her for such a long time with all this history was too much. I kinda like it that she’s back on the farm.

Luckily, diversions are in place. I have two appointments with The Songstress – one is work related, the other is our second date. Wish me luck.

But what’s also murky is that when Ponygirl and Local Love Interest met, I looked at both of them and thought, “You know, I gave up too easy on LLI…”

But now for the punchline. Ponygirl will be back in three weeks time, for another week of work for me. I’d use someone else, but a) I’ve already promised her the work and b) She is very fucking good at it, and I want her on a professional level.

I’ll let you know how that goes.

59 comments:

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I then ask if we are going to have sex this year

You old honey-dripper.

Kitten - over to you.

Leilani said...

You have a lot of options Perseus,way more than most people. Will anything make you get over Ponygirl?

And can you at least give us a hint about the Songstress's identity? I she significantly younger than you?

Perseus said...

It wasn't that blunt, Ramon. Oh okay, it was... but we know each other well enough to be blunt.

Leilani: My options are LLI who dumped me, Ponygirl who dumped me, and Songstress who is possibly way out of my league.

Melba said...

No offence to anyone else, dear Perseus but your posts are simply the best.

You do have a lot of options, a lot of dating going on, you lucky thing. But it is exhausting for you, and ultimately unsatisfactory.

And I agree with PG. You do need to masturbate more. And maybe redefine what "the one" and "love of my life" mean.

squib said...

Well good luck with that

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Good luck with the true romance or good luck with the masturbation, Squib?

squib said...

Both

Perseus said...

I'd give you updates on my masturbation but if I did, Lewd Bob would drive down to the coast and stab me.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

He wouldn't be Pat Malone on that one, Pers.

Pepsi said...

Poor boy.

Must be hard having the love of your life treat you like a door mat.

Lewd Bob said...

She tells me she had a Brazillian

This is the worst thing a woman can do. Women should have hair.

and go to my own bed which is located on the higher moral ground

LOL.

Lewd Bob would drive down to the coast and stab me.

It's bad enough reading about your sex life.

Puss In Boots said...

This is the worst thing a woman can do. Women should have hair.

By that logic, men should have beards, but most shave them off.

What's wrong with brazillians? I fail to see how a clump of hair which holds in smelly pheromones could be a good thing.

ToneMasterTone said...

Does Ponygirl hate the world and everything in it?

Is that why she's lives out in the middle of nowhere?

Does she have much larger issues going on that she hasn't fully revealed to you or that you haven't fully revealed to us?

Perseus said...

Jesus Lewd, I could name you 427 things worse a woman could do. Like, be a liar, or mean, or get 'I hate black people' tattooed on their face. Having a Brazillian? Fine by me.

*

I fear I have painted a very bad picture of Ponygirl. For theatrical effect I have focussed on the sexual confusion, which took plave for five to ten minutes per day. What I missed on the post was the camraderie and friendship the other 99% of the day.

She treats me with respect at all times, and would scratch the eyes out of my enemies.

Leilani said...

Lewd Bob, I agree, the hair is good.

And Puss, pheremones are wonderful.

And Perseus, even though you say these three women have dumped you - there all still possibilities aren't they?

eat my shorts said...

I think if Local Love Interest called it quits on you, then don't try to take another trip back to that well, there be where heartache dwells. She made her choice.

I could be reading your post a little to literally, but it sounds like there was a lot of pressure to get a root out of Ponygirl. Maybe instead of putting so much pressure on yourself & Ponygirl to shag, just see where things lead this time.

Good luck with your upcoming date with The Songstress, if she's possibly out of your league, she wouldn't be dating you in the first place.

Melba said...

Aren't the smelly pheromones the one that cause the chemisty and make people think that each other is "The One"?

I reckon it's time to get back to the Full Bush myself. Enough porn pandering.

Perseus said...

Leilani:

Songstress hasn't dumped me. Yet.

LLI dumped me, but it could be worth a second shot. Hard to tell.

I have no chance whatsoever with Ponygirl.

Check your email.

eat my shorts said...

For theatrical effect I have focussed on the sexual confusion, which took plave for five to ten minutes per day.

Ah, gotchya now. Never mind!

Melba said...

Ah, but why did she tell you she'd had a brazilian that day? Did you think about that? Has anyone else thought about that?

Melba said...

Can you email me too Perse? I apologise about the masturbation bit.

I'm on your side!

Perseus said...

EMS: Songstress's last boyfriend was the singer in a Very Famous Band. Hard act to follow.

But I like your view of this, and it gives me some confidence. Getting the first date was potentially a charity, but getting the second must mean she has a little bit of interest. S'pose.

eat my shorts said...

Getting the first date was potentially a charity, but getting the second must mean she has a little bit of interest. S'pose.

S'pose? S'pose my arse. Of course she has interest.

And if her last boyfriend is so shit-hot, why isn't she still with him?

Obviously I don't know who she is (and I'm not pressuring you to say - it doesn't matter to me), but surely she's just as human as the rest of us.

eat my shorts said...

Ah, but why did she tell you she'd had a brazilian that day? Did you think about that? Has anyone else thought about that?

I wondered about that too, Melba. Maybe she was just drunk & it came out? Nah. I don't care how blunt you can be with each other, if you don't want a man to think about your vagina you don't even mention the word Brazilian.

Puss In Boots said...

Aren't the smelly pheromones the one that cause the chemisty and make people think that each other is "The One"?

You can get the same effect from people's armpits. I'd rather have one less smelly area, thanks.

EMS: Songstress's last boyfriend was the singer in a Very Famous Band. Hard act to follow.

I wouldn't say Very Famous. Maybe Well Known. Only VF in certain circles.

Perseus said...

What happened was, we were laughing about how the year before I had given her this monologue about how I wasn't sure if we should have sex or not because I had just met this other girl, and I yapped on for about ten minutes and at the end her sole contribution to the topic was, "I had a Brazillian today." We were having sex about five minutes later. So we were laughing about that, and she said, "Funny thing is, I had one today as well!" and I said, "Bloody hell, don't tell me that after telling me there's no sex this year," and she laughed. We were having fun, and I really didn't mind.

Perseus said...

Quite Famous perhaps... they've won multiple ARIAs and played on Letterman. That's Quite Famous, surely?

eat my shorts said...

She wanted a root.

Perseus said...

But I offered the root, and she turned it down.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Pers, my take on this is that you'll be a good friend to PG - nothing more and nothing less.

I'd concentrate on fucking up your relationship with The Songstress instead.

And speaking personally, Brazillians give me the heebee-jeebees.

eat my shorts said...

But I offered the root, and she turned it down.

I reckon she still wanted it, but thought she shouldn't, so turned it down.

What Ramon said - be her mate, don't worry about shagging her. If you had so many opportunities over all that time together & still didn't do it, that ought to tell you something.

Leilani said...

Perseus - I'm with EMS, Songstress isn't about to go out with you twice if she's not into you. She's into you.

I like her so much I just ordered her cd.

patchouligirl said...

You are such a time vampire Perseus.

My only comment is that you have that many ex dates, prospective dates and female flatmates hanging around the landscape is a bit littered with other women and this might be a bit of a turn off.

Lewd Bob said...

By that logic, men should have beards, but most shave them off.

For the record I have a beard.

Jesus Lewd...

Don't take me so literally. Of course it's not the worst thing a woman can do.

I agree, the hair is good.

Brazillians give me the heebee-jeebees.

Yep.

I reckon it's time to get back to the Full Bush myself.

Vote Bush!

Perseus said...

Leilani... the EP is out in a few months. Don't get the album that came out two years ago. It's very different. Well, get it if you will, but don't let it put you off the one coming up.

**

Patchouli... Yes, for the first time in my life, I think I need some male presence / energy around me. Footy season is coming up thank god.

**

I love the Brazillian. Makes things easier, and seemingly cleaner.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I just clicked on those old stories and followed the comments.

Gee we talk a load of shit, don't we?

Lewd Bob said...

Yep. And a lot of time on our hands.

squib said...

I was thinking the same thing as Patch. You have WAY too many distractions of the female kind. Also, you seem to be attracted to what is unattainable and/or impossible

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I reckon Anna Karenina would have had a Brazillian.

squib said...

I can just see Persey with Anna

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

He does seem to have a fondness for drama queens.

RandomGit said...

ponygirl looks like she wants too but has to keep talking herself out of it. I think you'll win her over if you don't go to hard too soon. I know you are kinda in a rush from your previous posts. Your eagerness may cloud your judgement. Don't settle for second best dude. Stick with it.

Boogeyman said...

Wow. What woman could possibly resist a man who, after being told no, whines, grovels and debases himself for sex for the next 28 days. How she kept her hands off you is inexplicable.

It's all not so difficult. Sit Ponygirl down for a frank (and sober) discussion. Ask her if she wants a relationship with you. Ask her to be honest about whether she is conflicted about the possibility, or if she is certain yay or nay. If she stone-cold dead-set wants no relationship with you, accept it and move on. If it has a chance, talk about it, instead of trying to worm your way into her pants every night as a way of starting some sort of quasi-relationship. Your ideal woman is not someone who likes to play board games with you, but a woman who actually wants a real relationship with you.

Also, some* would be inclined to think that sexually molesting a couple of drunk and sleeping/half-asleep German backpackers in your house during a spontaneous orgy, is in no uncertain terms, rape. So perhaps you might like to stop thinking with your dick during these sexual exploits long enough to think about whether you've actually got consent.

* Like, for example, the police.

homesick said...

Sound advice from so many eh Pers..

All I was going to add was that after a 'Brazilian' or any such waxing in the genital area, I find that sex can often aggravate the newly waxed skin and make it rather sore and abraded.

But then again she may have been letting you know so you'd just give her one. Women eh!

Dr. Golf said...

Boogey I don't think a leg-rub amounts to rape. You're still allowed to test the water.

Is it possible that PG has started kicking with the opposite foot? Coming over the wicket?
What exactly went on between her and Short Kraut on the night of Feb 5?

come.to.mumma said...

Oh Pers. I don't have any advice, just commiserations. Sounds as bad as my disasters: Hoseboy, Genitalboy, Marriedboy, The Dribbler, Sprung-at-workboy, Bedboy...

I write about my disasters only because it seemed like last time Pers wrote about his lovelife, he felt a little mocked or perhaps alone in his love gumbyness. So I wanted to share that he's not the only one with messiness.

And I vote no to Brazillians!

Cath said...

Oh Perseus. Dear Perseus. Love Gumby you remain.

Your persistence with PG could be considered romantic, or just pathetic in light of her repeated declines of your offers.

But here is a hint, when she is telling you someone else is interested in you and encouraging it..... SHE IS NOT INTERESTED! That is generally the best way that a woman can use to encourage you elsewhere.

Chin up. I am sure that you will meet your ideal woman next week. You seem to have a knack of finding both suitable and unsuitable women on a regular basis!

Perseus said...

Jesus Boogeyman... rape? They thought it was hilarious. It was a fun and silly night, and all in context.

You may have also missed the bit on Jan 29 when PG propositioned me for sex.

I do concede however that the way I wrote it is heavily weighted towards me being desperate. As I alluded before, my sex suggestions accounted for about 0.01% of our time together.

You may have also missed my comment that I have no chance of a relationship with Ponygirl. I know this fact. That was the point of the whole post. I offered my gumbyness for your entertainment, and you accuse Ponygirl of rape for touching a German girl's leg.

Sheesh.

Boogeyman said...

Lucky for you they were so accomodating, eh?

I wasn't singling out Ponygirl - I was suggesting that you, Ponygirl and in particular, Surfer Joe, were all walking a razor's edge by deciding to hop into bed with two drunken sleeping girls and going for an orgy. How about if they had felt revolted and humiliated the next morning, rather than amused?

As for your relationship problems with Ponygirl, if you have such definitive closure with her, why hanker after her? She's not the one. She's not even the two.

Perseus said...

I perhaps should have pointed out that Small Kraut spent many a night in my bed and many a social occasion on my knee and many an afternoon nap spooning with me on the couch and many an afternoon topless on the beach beside me. She had no qualms about me laying beside her. Further, her and Surfer Joe were very good friends and the fact they kissed was a source of much amusement for both.

Tall Kraut, though newer to the house, didn't give a shit and found the fact that five of us were on a bed was most amusing.

We were all fully clothed, and there was no touching of holy places. It was M rated. Not even MA.

Whatever happened to NCR? Was it replaced by PG or M?

Perseus said...

...and I hanker after her because she's awesome.

Puss In Boots said...

But here is a hint, when she is telling you someone else is interested in you and encouraging it..... SHE IS NOT INTERESTED! That is generally the best way that a woman can use to encourage you elsewhere.

I don't know, Cath. I have been known to encourage someone I really like to pursue a relationship with someone else, even if it did kill me at the time. I just knew a relationship with the person I liked would never work out, so why waste my time? So the fact PG encouraged Pers to go on a date with someone doesn't mean she's not interested at all. It might just mean she knows she and Pers wouldn't work out, for whatever reason.

Pers, you seem to think you two are perfect for each other, but have you ever asked her why she doesn't think so? Besides the farm thing.

Perseus said...

Puss, yes, I have asked, and she fumbled through the whole farm thing and the fact she's not settled / not ready to settle down and that we're too close as friends to have another fling because she knows I want to settle down... which are all reasonable arguments, not to mention the fact that she just doesn't want to be my girlfriend, for reasons that are probably primal.

I suspect the age gap (13 years) is a dominant factor, but she refuses to concede that.

Boogeyman said...

Well, fair enough then. Context is king, as they say in Alabama.

And you might want to expand your definition of 'love of my life' to include that that person thinks YOU are the love of their life. It doesn't sound like she thinks you are as awesome as you think she is.

WitchOne said...

Wow Boogey, I read that bit and thought it was all amusing and definitely light in terms of what to take seriously and what to assume is exaggeration.

Pers is not one I would call dangerous to women.

But what would I know, I've only ever seen a picture of his arse, I wouldn't know him if I fell over him. But I do adore him anyway.

patchouligirl said...

I heard this on the radio today and thought of you Perseus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AJmKkU5POA

Perseus said...

You heard Buble and thought of me? Is he suspected of rape as well?

patchouligirl said...

I doubt he'd ever get the opportunity.

Fad MD said...

Pers, that was fantastic reading!

I have a good friend who sounds quite a lot like you, even to the extent of having some wierdly fucked up taste in music, so the various situations you describe ring true. Although he doesn't have the goth cowboy thing working... perhaps I should mention it.