Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Pop Psych

Freud enjoying a smoke after a skinny soy latte.

Not this shit again. This article makes links between the type of coffee you drink and the type of personality displayed by the owner of the lips surrounding the mouth that consumes the coffee.

It's nothing but rash generalisations posing as psychology. It totally ignores the fact that, often, purchases of coffee - or anything else for that matter - aren't evolutionary or instinctive, but a conscious choice often influenced by the consumer's awareness of what it says about him or her.

Kyle drinks espressos so he's (and I paraphrase) moody, hard-bitten, hard working, into leadership, fast goals, he doesn't suffer fools and is into night-time shenanigans.

You fucken what?

Actually, the cunt's just been to Italy and wants his friends to know how cool he is.

Or perhaps that's just the style of coffee Kyle enjoys. Cos it peps him up.

This bollocks is much like the supposed 'group personality' of a Gen X or Gen Y individual. Just because you were born between 1980 and 2000 - or whatever the hell the time-frame is - you like broccoli and hate la crosse and cry at Meryl Streep movies and crap sideways. What a crock of Bristol Stool Scale Type 6 shit.

And don't get me started on astrology and its brand of flakey, ill-informed and ridiculous generalisations based on which fucking star you were born 'under'.

No really, don't, cos you'll wish you'd never experience my fist in Uranus*.


* Sorry, nothing like a good Uranus joke - or even a bad one.

41 comments:

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

The real problem is that all the best writers at the Epicure section have been poached* by the Herald Sun, so the Age is using this as filler.

Expect to see more of the same.

*Poached - geddit!

ToneMasterTone said...

I hate it when astrologists say "typical Taurean behaviour" when I'm skeptical -- you can't freakin' win!

Puss In Boots said...

THE NON-COFFEE DRINKER - Unfortunately, the verdict isn't good. Frightened of coffee equals frightened of life, say James and Moore. If the taste of coffee puts you off you really are a child, they say, and it's time to join the world of grown ups. But there's hope. "Twenty one days is all it will take to break your cycle of disgust and then you'll be back in the real world."

Pfft! I sincerely doubt anyone who knows me would say I am not in the world of grown ups, or that I am afraid of life. As you said Bob, what a crock.

Puss In Boots said...

Oh, and I just love how their diagnosis is to get me addicted to caffeine in order to "cure" me. Morons.

RandomGit said...

Now I know why I don't fit in these sorts of tests and why the populace at large seems alien to me. I'm not, as you would say, a cunt cunt writing for a 'news'paper.

eat my shorts said...

Uranus jokes are some of my favourite jokes.

And, even though I've already had my morning coffee I now want another one.

I usually get a flat white, but the article says nothing about what that says about my personality. HOW WILL I KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE? HM?!

Sigh. I guess it means I'm flat and white. Which is so not true. I'm only one of those things.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Twenty one days is all it will take to break your cycle of disgust

21 days seems a long time to be disgusted.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

And the only hororscopes I read are here.

squib said...

I drink instant espresso but I drink it black at the beach and white at home. Oh The Age, what does it all mean?

Thanks Lewd for the poo chart. Much appreciated

Ramon, I've added that horoscope to my three million other bookmarked pages. Sadly, it will take me 3 years to scroll down the list to find it again

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

"Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)

This week you arrive at the latest roundabout in your life. I don't suppose there's any chance you could try indicating for once, you fucking arsehole?"

*snort*

Perseus said...

Psychology, for the most part, is to science what astrology is to astronomy.

I concede however that there's about 10% of psychology that seems like it is advancing the human rae.

The rest is this garbage. The worst are the ones that come into the workplace, get paid thousands of dollars to 'profile' the staff (I was 90% ox and 10% rooster or something) and then nothing at all changes.

This is not what Freud intended.

And have you ever noticed that everyone with 'issues' ends up studying psychology? And they are the first to diagnose everyone else as something deficient?

Leilani said...

And those Myers Briggs personality profiles are just as bad - star signs for business.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

They are indeed a complete crock, Leilani.

I'm thinking of pitching my own personality profiles to the gullible and rich; said profile to be based on how much beer people buy me.

Leilani said...

You'll make a killing Ramon.

I am constantly surprised by how much new-age drivel manages to drip into corporate culture. I recently met a woman who just set up a business where she comes to the workplace amd measures the stress level in there. Then counsels the business on how to manage the stress. Now, I agree that modern workplaces put a lot of stress on staff and expectations to work longer hours etc are real issues. BUT, this woman was a yoga teacher - that was her entire qualification that enabled her to come to an accurate conclusion of the stress levels in an office.

And in other news, for the record, I think this whole Downunder/Kookaburra thing is a complete load of bullshit as well.

Melba said...

Best star sign I ever read said something like "Saggitarius. You are into travel, adventure and bestiality."

But really people, you're all starting to sound like broken records. Every week it's "let's hang shit on psychology/astrology/new age wankers."

Psychology has something to offer, quite a lot I think, and you can't lump it in with astrology/new age shit. There have been rigorous experiments and research done in the psychological field, way above and beyond anything in the other two areas.

Sheesh.

Melba said...

And by the way, I didn't read the coffee article but I'm sure I would agree with you, about it being horseshit. It's not psychology.

Alex said...

Like Puss, I was irked by the whole "If you're not part of our club, there's obviously something wrong with you that needs fisting" approach to non-coffee-drinkers.

Fuckwits.

This bollocks is much like the supposed 'group personality' of a Gen X or Gen Y individual. Just because you were born between 1980 and 2000 - or whatever the hell the time-frame is

I don't know why, but for some reason, even the idea of picking an arbitrary date and saying that it defines some sort of generational boundary makes me very angry.

Lewd Bob said...

Psychology has something to offer

I agree and have never said anything to the contrary.

Boogeyman said...

Psychology, for the most part, is to science what astrology is to astronomy.

I concede however that there's about 10% of psychology that seems like it is advancing the human rae.

The rest is this garbage. The worst are the ones that come into the workplace, get paid thousands of dollars to 'profile' the staff (I was 90% ox and 10% rooster or something) and then nothing at all changes.

This is not what Freud intended.

And have you ever noticed that everyone with 'issues' ends up studying psychology? And they are the first to diagnose everyone else as something deficient?


You'd probably sound more intelligent on the subject if you said nothing, Perseus.

Psychology is a legitimate and respected field of scientific endeavour. Theories and hypotheses are proposed, tested rigorously, and peer reviewed. Experiments are conducted in the same spirit of predictability and repeatability as any other scientific field.

And that's 100% of it, by the way, not 10%.

It is all conducted with the same intention to better humankind as a whole by better understanding the human mind, and to help individuals who have psychological problems.

Freud was a charlatan by comparison with modern psychologists. Actually, scratch that. Freud was a charlatan, full stop. And he probably had halitosis.

Most graduate psychologists are intelligent and caring professionals whose goal is primarily to help others, not candidates for their own therapy.

You just can't distinguish between pop psychology (which isn't actually psychology at all), and the real thing.

Perseus said...

I actually agree with you, but 'pop psychology' as you put it is all I ever hear.

It's flooded the market.

The 'science' to which you refer is the psychology I heartily approve of.

As I said, the rest is garbage, and there is a LOT of it.

I would sound taller if I kept my mouth shut as well.

Boogeyman said...

I'd expect nothing less from an INTJ Cancerian Rooster.

Pop 'psychology' demeans genuine psychology by co-opting the latter's name, just as does pop science, pop mysticism, and pop rockets.

Is there a height component to an online voice? How tall do I sound?

Melba said...

You sound about 10 feet tall, Boogeyman. And why do you always out-articulate me? It's annoying but good.

Boogeyman said...

Are you saying I sound like some sort of gigantor freak?

Jumping Jehosaphat, that's no mere tickle on the cheek, lass.

Dr. Golf said...

And lets see who Catherine Deveney is attacking this week........ah yes bogans again.

She's right though, them bogans do like their cars. Such a clever angle, really thought provoking.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

And cartoonist Michael Leunig is having another swipe at uppity women.

Good to see something never change.

eat my shorts said...

I actually agree with you, but 'pop psychology' as you put it is all I ever hear.

Blame it on Dr. Phil.

Actually, blame it on Oprah who made Dr. Phil famous.

There's something off about that man.

Lewd Bob said...

There's something off about that man

Yeah, he's a cunt.

Melba said...

Thanks Ramon. Forgot about the Leunig hating.

And Boogeyman. Gigantor was ace, not a freak. Not really. Apart from being made of metal and really, really tall.

eat my shorts said...

There's something off about that man

Yeah, he's a cunt.


That'd be it. I'd add that he's a smug, grinning cunt.

If I ever ran into him (I don't know why I would, but it ruins the fantasy, so let's just go with it, shall we) and he said to me "How's that workin' for you?" I'd jump up, smack him on his bald head, pull out my permanent marker (in my fantasy I keep one handy) and draw a dick on his head right on the red mark left by my hand.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Gigantor was bigger than big.

Taller than tall.

Freak.

Alex said...

I'm surprised Gigantor hasn't made an atrocious big screen appearance recently, what with the Astro Boy and Speed Racer efforts.

In any event, Gigantor didn't have a patch on Mazinger in the giant robot stakes.

Leilani said...

Last year I was having lunch at the Farmers' Market in LA when my friends and I were approached by some tv production crew telling us that Doctor Phil was filming there that day. We chose to stick with our lunch rather than check out Dr Phil.

There was no way I was going to let Dr Phil ruin my taco.

Lewd Bob said...

There was no way I was going to let Dr Phil ruin my taco.

He would do that by saying...

How's that workin' for you?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Was it a nice taco?

Puss In Boots said...

The best tacos I've ever had were from a street vendor in Mexico. I loved Mexico - so cheap! I used to wait until the vendors had set up shop, and then go and buy 5 tacos for 8 pesos (about $1) and have that as my dinner. They were so delicious!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

When I was in Mexico, we went to Leon Trotsky's house.

He wasn't there.

Lewd Bob said...

He was probably out having a taco.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

We had a look in the nearest pub as well, Bob.

He wasn't there either.

Lewd Bob said...

Well, I'm out of ideas.

Leilani said...

Best taco ever: soft corn shell with shredded grilled beef, onion and coriander with a side of guacamole and tortilla strips all washed down with a watermelon juice.

I'm having a Mexican cooking class next week just to see if I can recreate this perfect Dr Phil-free meal.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Glad to hear it, Lil.