Wednesday, February 17, 2010

From our source in The Lodge.

Mr Abbott tries out his new look before the election.

The scene; Late at night at The Lodge.

The Ruddster is thumbing through a well-read copy of Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason, a snifter of brandy beside him. Abigail the dog is snoring and farting happily in front of the fire while Jasper the cat is tinkering in the corner, putting the final touches to his anti-dog death ray. Suddenly there is a knock on the door and a certain Welsh-born, red-haired Deputy Prime Minister enters with a sheaf of papers.

The Ruddster: “Jules, come in, sit down. Would you like a drink?”

Julia: “Oooh, thanks comrade. I’ve brought the latest from our mole in the Liberal Party. It’s their strategy for the coming Federal election”

The Ruddster: “Good man, that Malcolm.”

He starts reading and looks up at the Deputy PM.

The Ruddster: “Jules, have you read this?”

Julia (trying unsuccessfully to suppress a smirk): “Oh, yes.”

The Ruddster (reading): “Focus on IR…bring back ‘flexibility’ into the system…bash the unions…”

The long silence is broken by gusts of hearty laughter as The Ruddster and Jules stagger around the room, wiping tears from their eyes. Abigail makes a frantic bolt for the door, while Jasper makes a mental note to widen his device to include humans.

Finally the laughter subsides.

The Ruddster: “Oh dear, Tony. He really is the gift that keeps on giving. Another drink, Jules?”

17 comments:

Perseus said...

Oops. Double post. We really need a system.

Then again, if we had a system we'd begrudge it.

**

I was so sure your post was heading into some porn fantasy thing...

Remember that link Caz found all those years ago? or was it Desci? Anyway, it was to a Hall & Otaes fan fiction page. Awesome stuff.

I can see a market for fantasy porn featuring Rudd and Gillard.

In fact, maybe that'll be my next post.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I can see a market for fantasy porn featuring Rudd and Gillard.

Maybe, Pers.

But fantasy porn featuring Penny Wong and Julia Gillard would be a better bet.

Perseus said...

Righto, I'll work Penny into the scenario. And maybe Kate Ellis.

Mr E Discharge said...

fantasy porn featuring Penny Wong

Now theres an idea I could Globally Warm to......

Lewd Bob said...

Hmm. Good to see you're an optimist, Ramon. I'm harbouring catastrophic fears despite your take on the irrelevance of early polls and the Liberal Party's return to dodgy IR.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Bob, I reckon when people go into the polling booth in April, they'll think

"Wait a sec. These are the same bunch of bastards we got rid of last time".

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

And Mr E, I would have said that Catlick was typing one-handed right now, but she's not big on Wong.

Mr E Discharge said...

Bob, I reckon when people go into the polling booth in April, they'll think


Could happen. I have my doubts.

Puss In Boots said...

Ramon, I don't think the general public is that clever. Rudd simply hasn't performed well enough for people to dismiss the liberal party, regardless of how awful they were last time.

squib said...

Ra-Ra Rasputin

Russia's greatest love machine

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Puss, people generally tend to vote on which political party is perceived to be the superior in a number of areas.

People may be talking about Abbott now but that doesn't mean they will vote for the mad cunt.

And the last Federal Government to be tossed out after one term was Jimmy Scullin in 1931.

Lewd Bob said...

Vote 1 the mad cunt

Gabriella said...

This blog lifts my spirits a little bit about the upcoming election... Then I remember that the general public get to vote. Either way - I'm keeping my emergency bag packed.

eat my shorts said...

Abigail the dog is snoring and farting happily in front of the fire while Jasper the cat is tinkering in the corner, putting the final touches to his anti-dog death ray.

No, with this one sentence, you sir are the gift that keeps on giving.

Applauds.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Thanks, EMS.

Glad you liked it.

Melba said...

I agree EMS.

The first best thing about reading this blog is trying to guess who has penned the magic. The second best thing about this blog is reading the magic.

Kettle said...

I'm with EMS: you're the gift that keeps on giving, Ramon. Happy, farting dogs, death rays, Turnbull-as-Rasputin; it's all there.

And Squibby, ra-ra Rasputin indeedy. I like the photo here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grigori_Rasputin

Mmm, love-a-chunks!