Monday, August 2, 2010

Oh, for God's sake people!

"Yeah, sorry, can't talk now, I'm being devoured."

Well, that was…disturbing.

Sitting in the cubicle in the toilets at work the other day, whence came the faint but unmistakable sound from the next booth of the tap, tap, tap of somebody texting.


On the toilet!!

It was probably some dick-biscuit tweeting*.

As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t mind the odd, leisurely read while sitting on the crapper but I draw the line at texting.

Are we so committed as a society to our gadgets that we now use them while having a bowel movement? What’s next; tweeting while eating? Having a haircut?

Having sex?

Give it a rest, chaps. Just give it a rest.

* “Justin is…currently having a shit”


squib said...

"Mobile phones can harbour 18 times more living bacteria than a flush on a men's toilet, according to research for a UK consumer group."

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Some of my best friends are living bacteria, Squib.

Alex said...

From what I've read Squib, I think most computer mice and keyboards are in a similar way. People just don't clean them enough, I guess.

Personally, I avoid text messaging whenever I can. It combines a tiny screen (my eyes aren't that good anymore), a per character (sort of) fee, annoying txt spk, and typing with your bloody thumbs. However, if you sensed that you were going to be there for a while and didn't have a newspaper handy, I could maybe see this. At least it's better than sitting there and listening to someone talk on their phone.

Also, what's with those cunts on trains who crank up the music on their phones like it was their fucking lounge-room? Other people don't want to be blown away by the latest dance remix of whatever shitty hip-hop song you're currently fascinated by, fuck-heads.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

However, if you sensed that you were going to be there for a while and didn't have a newspaper handy, I could maybe see this.

Alex, that's just wrong.

In fact, it goes beyond wrong and becomes wronger.

Alex said...

Oh, we've all been there, Ramon.

Puss In Boots said...

Oh, and I thought you'd all appreciate this.

Kettle said...

Not that I'm condoning it AT ALL, but I know of someone who suddenly found himself sans toilet paper and was able to, ah, communicate with his house-mates who could then supply him with the required article.

So provided no one ever needed to touch his mobile again, ever, and thus was saved from coming into contact with its filthy, filthy key-pad, it does seem to me that everyone won in the situation (except perhaps the house-mate who had to deliver the toilet paper).

Alex said...

I dunno. Unless you handled the phone during the short period between wiping and washing, I don't see hygiene being an issue here*. The real problem is with people who don't wash their hands at all. Ick; makes me think about the stories I've been told by people who work in restaurants. It makes you never want to eat out again.

*Hopefully, I'm not analysing this to the point of ticking anyone off. Yet.

Kettle said...

No no, Alex, this topic needs more, not less, analysis. Fart, bum and toilet jokes generally make up a considerable part of the pleasure I derive from each and every day.

To my mind, the hygiene issue also includes where you put the phone in between texting, wiping, etc. Isn't there a 'splash zone' around toilets that are flushed with their lids up within which everything is sprayed with a fine mist of toilet water, most likely soiled?

Deary me, "a fine mist of toilet water". My day has just reached its high point.

Alex said...

If that was the case, Kettle, you'd have to assume that everything about the person was contaminated. With the one possible exception being the phone itself, which may have been protectively concealed within a pocket or handbag at the time.

Kettle said...

Heh heh, exactly Alex.

We're all filthy, filthy creatures.

All grist to our bum/fart joke mills.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

We live in a sea of bacteria*.

Most of it is pretty harmless, apart from the stuff that will kill you.

* I'm sorry Puss, but it's true.

Kettle said...

Yes, and I do wish those silly cleaning product companies would stop making products that kill 99.9% of germs. Gah. We'd all be better off with a little handful of dirt for morning tea every now and then.

Puss In Boots said...

I don't deny it, Ramon, but I'm still entitled to try and kill them where I can.

At the moment, I'm living in squalor, because I'm moving house. It's driving me nuts. I keep wanting to clean up, but I don't have all of my furniture and therefore can't put things where they belong. And I don't have a kitchen. I had the one in the house removed, because it was too small. It will be about 4 weeks before the new one is in. It's very strange not having a kitchen.

catlick said...

I'm worried about the election.

Alex said...

Anything specific, Catlick, or just a general sense of unease?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I can tell you as a trained political observer, I have no fucking idea what's going to happen on election night.

Either way, I'll be nursing the mother of all hangovers.

catlick said...

I guess I'm worried Labor might lose.... and I'm buggered if I can understand their strategies. Even when ministers start to bag coalition policies they tail off into labor policy lists which after the genpop's nanosecond attention span elapses sounds like really cool stuff the coalition might be promising. Why aren't we seeing vintage Abbott on women's issues? There's a lot more to dislike than just WorkChoices. And why not get "negative"?

Alex said...

Why aren't we seeing vintage Abbott on women's issues?
why not get "negative"?

Come to think of it, what's Labor's current stance on women's issues? I don't know. Maybe, as Boogeyman suggested, they're too afraid of alienating pro-lifers, religious fundies and other assorted conservative nutjobs*.

But yeah, it seems like people have just decided to forget about Abbott's stint as health minister. Water under the bridge I guess.

*Has anyone heard any of the Family First candidates talk? Jesus Christ.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

JC's running for Family First now, Alex?

Funny, he always struck me as more of a Green.

I guess I'm worried Labor might lose

You may very well be right, Catlick, which is why I've;

*Donated $100 to the ALP,

*Have a Labor sign in my front yard,

*Taking part in a leaflet drop and

*Handing out HTV cards on election day.

catlick said...

I thought about helping out with HTV cards but with Greg Cunt as my local member I'd feel like Sisyphus. Oh, Abbott has just asked whether Julia means "No" when she says "No". No joking reference to rape here folks.... move along.... move along....

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Every little bit helps, Catlick, especially when it comes to the Senate.

And BTW, I've checked.

Steve Fielding is waaaaaaaaaaay down on the list of ALP preferences.

Alex said...

JC's running for Family First now, Alex?

Family First seem to think he's on their side.

Steve Fielding is waaaaaaaaaaay down on the list of ALP preferences.

Excellent, Ramon. Just as it should be.

Actually, I've been having a bit of a look at who's on the senate ticket this time around, and have come to the following conclusions:

· Despite having a name that invites mockery, The Sex Party doesn't look that bad.
· Even though it might be an unworkable mess in practice, Senators Online kind of has me intrigued.
· If I keep hearing Abbott say "faceless men", I'm going to scream (Not overly Senate related, I admit. It's just that it's really, really getting on my tits.).

I still have some independents to check out, but at this point, I'm not expecting too much.

Melba said...

My interest has finally be piqued, hearing Julia on the radio this morning talking about Kevin, and Kevin in a replayed interview with Phillip Adams on the radio this afternoon.

I'm starting to have fantasies of a Kevin comeback and that Kevin will save the day. Not that I was loving Kevin at the end, but he is looking pretty good at the moment.

Anybody else having these thoughts?

Ramon, are you feeling any less worried than 24 hours ago? Is it going to be SuperKevin to the rescue?

patchouligirl said...

I always preferred Kevin and never had a problem with the ETS or the mining tax. I don't even blame him for the insulation deaths because, as we all know, before the rebate working Australia used to rock up to Bunnings and buy and install their own with no training. The deaths would still have occurred but simply over a longer period of time - and really, before the introduction of down lights there wasn't a problem.

I noticed that the coalition are opposing the internet filter; finally they have a policy I like. Will this mean Labor will dump the idea too? I hope so.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'm feeling more confident now that Heavy Kevvie is back on the trail.

I said from the start that axing him was a mistake*.

*So, nyerr, nyerr, nyerr, Squib

Melba said...

You did Ramon. I said I wasn't comfortable with it, or was unsettled, and then got carried away by the XX chromosomal new PM.

WitchOne said...

I'm thinking the "Real Julia" crap happened because JG got PMT.

Otherwise, I have to rethink her.

I was so happy when she got in, angry at how it was done but happier than angry.

BAH humbug!

squib said...

a raspberry right back at ya, Ramon

Fad MD said...

Here in the nation's capital we are being saved from the major parties by the Secular Party. They're getting my vote!

Fad MD said...

Oh, and I miss you guys. Stoopid work filter. O/S I had no such poblems

Kettle said...

So who's got their election party outfit planned?

squib said...

Are you going for something with concertina sleaves, Kettle?

The way things are looking, I might be wearing mourning clothes

eat my shorts said...

Election party outfit? What I'll be wearing on the 21st of August makes me look like a French maid. Considering I'll be in Paris, I'm sure no harm will come from that.