Tuesday, February 17, 2009

"Half" Nelson goes, few care.



Brendan Nelson announces the end of his political career

One of the great joys about being in government is watching those bastards on the opposition benches collapse into a confused rabble.

The Libs have never handled opposition that well. They were originally created in 1944 to grab and hold political power and opposition makes them feel uneasy (incidentally, the Labor Party is always a bit uneasy about winning elections. The Labor heroes; Keating, Whitlam, Chifley all lost elections. The exception is John Curtin but he sneakily died while in office).

A special joy is the announcement that former opposition leader Brendan Nelson is retiring from politics at the next election.

Labor types had a special hatred for Nelson, in part because of suspicions that he’s a “class traitor”* and in part because he gained the leadership by appealing to the legacy of the “Howard years”**.

The other thing that irked me was his habit of taking random goods (jars of jam, I recall, were a particular favourite) into the chamber and angrily shaking them at the Government. I think it was meant to represent political passion but to me it suggested a slightly dodgy shopkeeper, going out of business.

Bye Doc. Can’t say you’ll be missed.

*Yes, we are that petty.

**Whatever that may be.

26 comments:

Perseus said...

The jam jars... When he was President of the AMA I remember he was famous for having an ear-ring.

He's always done props.

His retirement from politics will create a stir that will last until tea-time tonight, then he'll be forgotten forever.

His contribution to Strayan history? A stupid speech on Sorry Day. That is all.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Pretty much sums him up, Pers.

He always was a chancer.

wari lasi said...

He's a tosser.

Good riddance to bad rubbish I say

And you're right, the conservative cause is in a state of complete disarray.

catlick said...

I love the snide comment Nelson made, I assume he was referring to Peter Costello. "One thing I'll never be is some sort of seat warmer."

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Julia Gillard must feel like a cat that's had its favourite squeaky toy taken away.

Melba said...

Can I ask a question that is only relevant in that it's about politics. Anyone remember a Stephen Smith years ago being in a scandal when his assistant or secretary or something got pregnant with his child? And it was huge news? IS that the same Smith that is a minister now?

?

Thanks.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Dunno about that Melba, but he was named "Crikey's sexiest male pollie for 2008".

Kate Ellis was the sexiest female pollie.

Hope this helps.

Melba said...

No it doesn't. I thought you of all people would know.

You don't even remember the scandale?

I'll do some 'research' and come back because I know you are now intrigued.

Melba said...

Ok I've got a headache now. Maybe it was Ian Smith, but not the Harold Bishop one.

Leaving it alone now.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Maybe it was Robert Smith.

Christian Kerr said...

It was Jeff's finance minister, Melba.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Of course, Ian Smith!

He was a bit of a cunt.

Leilani said...

I love that he has assured the patients of Australia that he won't return to medicine.

Boogeyman said...

I'm more concerned that he might return to guitar playing.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

The prospect of seeing "Half" for a delicate medical matter is as about appealing as seeing Peter Reith for grief counselling.

Boogeyman said...

Introducing Dr Brendan "Half" Nelson, GP:

Specialising in amputations, erectile disfunctions, and Brit Milah.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

God commanded Abraham be circumcised at 99 years old!?

Gee, God really is a bastard.

wari lasi said...

Ramon, that ain't the half of it. Later God told him to kill his own son.

As Richard Dawkins says, "The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction ..."

Boogeyman said...

Yeah, but to be fair Ramon, at that age his foreskin would have been 30cm long and had no feeling left.

I feel sorry for all the adult male members (hur hur - double entendre) of his tribe. Can you imagine the announcement...

Abraham: Ok, men, can I have your attention please? God has commanded me to take a knife and chop the excess skin off your penis, or you're all going to hell.
Men: ?!?!?!

Lewd Bob said...

For somebody who was opposition leader until pretty recently, his story got very little attention in the papers.

Just like John Hewson is now famous for his GST Cake debacle, Nelson may well be remembered not for the jars of jam, not for the earring but for his declaration that he would never in his life vote liberal. I suppose he meant he'd just lead them.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Over at Crikey, First Dog on the Moon notes;

"In other news, total failure Dr Brendan Nelson has sadly decided to leave politics and return to his former life as a singing ant."

God I love you, First Dog.

wari lasi said...

The only thing that's changed since yesterday is the cheeky line above "The followers".

Aesophia said...

And what a 'cheeky' line that is Wari :)

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

The line that says

"People who saw Perseus' bum and now need counselling and corrective vision surgery"

Aesophia.

wari lasi said...

Indeed Aesophia.

I'd sign up there but I have this thing about being a "follower". It's a bit too cultist sounding for me.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You are hereby exempted from being a "follower", Wari.

Which means you don't get the party hat and balloons.