Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Week That Was


Marcus North

Victorian cricketer debuts for Australia in South Africa at the ripe old age of 29 and makes 117, effectively putting us in the box seat on the first day. I'm calling for more debutants and Ponting's axing (I just think he's a sour twerp). Mitchell Johnson for captain. Meanwhile Hussey continues to disappoint and suddenly his place looks shaky (to me at least).

Welcome Back

Ben Cousins

Of course he deserved another chance. Who doesn't? Tom Hafey can go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut for suggesting he didn't. 21 possessions in his first game for 18 months. Not a bad return although he looked a little match unfit. So well done, Richmond. Instead of finishing 9th by 4 points come finals times, this time they'll finish 9th on percentage.

Fuck Off

Pauline Hanson

When will this perennial cunt just go away completely? Or die? Will she be allowed to loiter like she did when she first came to prominence, thanks to Howard's refusal to condemn her? Will Rudd or Anna Bligh condemn her? At least nobody's giving her preferences, although LNP leader Springborg looks tempted to seduce her. Here's my preference: stone her.

Good Riddance

Christine Nixon

A very pig-like policewoman. Hated by the rank and file. Hated by the union. And she wasn't even Victorian! Shame! Her efforts to redesign the Victoria Police uniform were met with derision. What's wrong with pink? Surely it's time for a Dirty Harry style copper.


wari lasi said...

Marcus North. Hear, hear! Johnson's too inexperienced to skipper the side. And Punter still scores shit loads of runs, and typically when we really need them. Ramon should send him a box of razors though.

Ben Cousins. Having suffered at the hands of drug addicts before, he's got a way to go yet. Great footballer without doubt, and the Tigers need him.

Pauline Hanson. Opportunistic bitch isn't she? Economic downturn, unemployment up. Blame it on the immigrants, the greenies and the Abos. You watch, she's so fucking predictable.

That picture certainly captures Christine Nixon at a particularly porcine moment. Other than that I know fuck all about her.

catlick said...


Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I suspect you've touched a nerve there, Bob.

Melba said...

Yes, Hanson can fuck right off. I also wonder whether anyone will try and smother her. Surely the other red-head will?

Re Nixon, you say she looks like a pig. So what? That's a cheap shot, and I reject it. You say everyone from the members to the police union hates her. And this is a bad thing? That tells me that she was possibly doing her job and doing it in a way that pissed people off. Perhaps she was too clean for the old school Victoria Police? Perhaps they couldn't control her?

She wasn't your standard police chief. And she is a woman. People often don't like strong women, it's too threatening. Despite that little girl voice she obviously was able to hold her ground.

As for her not being from Victoria, two of the three candidates that have been interviewed to replace her are from OVERSEAS.

Perseus said...

1. Mitchell Johnson should also bat at 3rd drop. or maybe he could replace Hussey up the order, and then we can have even more bowlers. Bring Tait into the side, simply to bowl 8 overs at 60 million miles an hour.

2. He looked alright, didn't he?

3. I've never understood why she is a part of contemporary Australia. She was on the dance show... and for that, Channel 7 can get double fucked. I wish the media simply stopped reporting what she was doing.

4. Sorry Bob, but I'm with the others. Nixon refused to play the boys'-own game. I thought she was good for the force.

Lewd Bob said...

God that response to Nixon was just SO predictable. If she'd been a pig-like man no one would have said boo. Apparently I'm not allowed to dislike her because she's a women. But it's ok to dislike Hanson because she's racist.

Lewd Bob said...

Clearly I meant 'woman' not 'women'. That was NOT supposed to be a comment about her size.

Anonymous said...

Marcus North - cricketer - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Ben Cousins - foozballer - yawwwwnnnnnnn

Palling Hansen - There's no news in this. She runs every time, and these days it's just for the electoral $$$ she gets. Hopefully they'll re-write the rules so that she can't cash in on the few remaining rednecks and conspiracy theorists that vote for her.

Christine Nixon - I don't understand why anyone would want to reform the Keystone Cops - I mean the Victorian Police force - they were such a source of comedic potential.

Jamie said...

Marcus North: I'm boycotting cricket until Ponting pisses off.

Cousins: Jesus, Tom Hafey. You're never seen anywhere wearing anything but a t-shirt, AND you coached Collingwood. And we STILL talk to you...

Hanson: One day, if you're good, I'll share with you my experience with Pauline Hanson in the back of a federal police vehicle years ago. It did not involve any inappropriate touching, you filthy bastards, but she did ask whether or not I was Greek.

Nixon: Give her her credit. She tackled police corruption and the gangland war in a way Kel Glare and Neil Comrie never did or would have, and in my view, the few times I got to speak one on one with her, she was a top person to deal with.

Melba said...

Your logic there is flawless, Lewd Bob.

No need to explain AT ALL what you meant by connecting "woman" and "racist" so coherently.

Lewd Bob said...

this is a bad thing? That tells me that she was possibly doing her job

Christine Nixon, according to my police sources, was not liked by anybody in the police force. That is an untenable situation. You can't be the boss if you have nobody's respect. So that is a bad thing and she therefore was not good for the force.

Yes the pig comment was a cheap shot. But she's a cop after all, and all cops are 'pigs' by street definition. I would've said the same if she was male with a turned up nose like Chief Wiggum.

No need to explain AT ALL what you meant by connecting "woman" and "racist" so coherently.

My point being I called Hanson a 'cunt' and suggested we should 'stone her'. There was not a whisper in her defence! Why not? Because we don't like her? We like Nixon so when I call her a 'pig' there's an outcry.

I'm allowed to dislike Nixon and I do. Not because she's a woman, or a pig or even a cop, but because if you're responsible for low morale on a mass scale, you cannot continue to hold that position. And I don't want a demoralised police force. That's when they start kicking heads and being tempted by corruption. She did some good, well done Christine. But she had to go.

catlick said...

In my social circles I meet a few lady policewomen. I always ask their thoughts on Ms Nixon, and they have always, whatever their politics, said she was greatly admired by them, and by the general police force, achieved good reforms, and, lately, will be missed. There is a perceived gender divide in the force when it comes to her, but I suspect it is an old school v new school divide. The structural changes/staffing rotations that inhibit corruption are the most effective/contentious parts of her reform, and the cosy club house mentality has been shaken up.
And as for Pauline Hanson, she's a self serving cunt, a cunning leech that has reattached to the public teat and will attempt to draw both blood and milk 'til the combined salt and fire of electoral and public disdain cause her to drop off into the dirt.

Perseus said...

There's two in my band who work for the cops. Both of them were big fans of Nixon.

Anecdotally Bob, your claim that nobody liked her is not stacking up.

Melba said...

Hm, where to start?

Bob, Nixon being unliked is different to not being respected. I can't accept your point unless there's some evidence and sorry, but you talking about your "police sources" doesn't cut it. You connect being unliked with having no respect. The two don't automatically go together. Perhaps police culture is such that people don't like it when someone tries to do things differently/transparently/openly? It's clear that Victoria Police has been needing a culture change and overhail for a long time. Efforts have been made, to get more diversity amongst the members. I don't know how successful it's been, but there have been attempts. I don't know how she operated exactly as chief, I'm just saying this is a possibility. People don't like change, they resist it, and then they lash out and hate the person who they see as being responsible for trying to bring change.

Your cops = pigs thing is obvious and heavy handed. We all know the lingo, but unless I was wanting to be particularly hateful I wouldn't attack someone just on how they look. Bloody hell.

Hanson is a cunt and I hope most reasonable people would agree. But to then say it's ok for you to slam Nixon just because you don't like her? Where's the substance? Why do you really hate her? Why is it so personal for you? There are plenty examples we have of Hanson being idiotic, small-minded, bigoted, intolerant. So what's the dirt on Nixon? Something more substantial than she has a turned-up nose and "everybody hates her." Something a little less school-yard. Sure Mullett hates her, but isn't he a dickhead? That's the impression I've gotten as a member of the public, not connected intimately with policing.

I don't really care one way or the other about her, I'm only defending her because it seems to me she hasn't been a bad thing, she seems like a nice person, I admire her for having gotten the job as a woman, and for not having self-destructed in some way, or been undermined and destroyed by others. I guess I can't understand your vitriol, she seems really quite inoffensive. She's been up for all sorts of things, from interviews on bogan radio statios to gay pride marches, she doesn't seem arrogant or power-drunk or unlikeable at all.

Nobody's said you can't like her. All I'm asking is why. You talk about police morale and lack of respect; what tangibles have you got?

Melba said...

While I was writing my response, catlick and Persey have written. Good to see you guys, I was feeling a little alone in this.

Maybe it's not Lewd Bob but Lewd Mullett we're dealing with here?

catlick said...


No really Melba, the idea that this scum sucking allegedly corrupt bully (that's Mullet, not LB) could be an alter ego of beautiful bob is just wrong.

Perseus said...

He did once have a lewd mullet, but it was 1985 and I think we all did.

Melba said...

I didn't. But I did have bad hair. Which we all did.

Jamie said...

I HAD hair in 1985. And it was great hair.

catlick said...

I had hair in 1985. Thank god for laser hair removal.

patchouligirl said...

I just noticed this:

Lucky Queenslanders faced with such choice. I wonder what Warrick Cappers policies would include?

Melba said...

Simon Overland is new police commish.

What do we think of him?

Lewd Bob said...

I'm glad there's some mileage in this. It started out as a fairly shallow summary of a handful of the week's events and got interesting.

My only evidence of Nixon's lack of respect amongst the force is indeed anecdotal, but I can only relate what I have heard from the police people that I know. Further, I have never said anywhere that I hate her. I said 'dislike' and that was more to do with the effects she appears to have on the force, nothing personal. Forget the pig comment, it was a throwaway line. And I'm sure she is a lovely person.

Oh, and I'm not Mullet and mine was never as impressive as Perseus', even in '85.

Lewd Bob said...

Geez PG, imagine the dilemma if you lived in Beaudesert. Warrick Capper or Pauline Hanson. It would surely be the only time I'd consider not putting Hanson last. That's if I lived in Beaudesert.

patchouligirl said...

Warrick Capper is such a package - politics, sports and he used to have a mullet. He simply belongs in this thread. Oh and he's available for hens nights at reasonable rates.

Melba said...

Oh Lewd Bob, just when you'd backed off Christine just a little, you then go and say you would put Hanson ahead of Capper??

I hope that was another throwaway line!

Capper is the package, and he has the package. He's good value any which way.

Anonymous said...

Overlord Overland rocks the shaved head look.

I forsee a spike in razor sales amongst youngish middle-aged men who want to look more Kojak-like.

Lewd Bob said...

Melba, I'm beginning to love Christine. I think she's ace. And now you have me backing Capper too.

Capper for PM!

catlick said...

Oh my "Beloved Bob", play nice.

Lewd Bob said...

No, but I mean it Catlick. It actually would be interesting to have Warrick Capper in QLD politics (although admittedly lets forget about a tilt at the PM's office). We have Justin Madden and Kirstie Marshall in Victoria. And didn't Mal Meninga run in NSW? I have no idea what Capper's political leanings are, but I suspect there's a chance he has none, or even an understanding of politics in any form.

And let me make it clear, I wouldn't even put a dog turd after Pauling Hanson on a preferential voting card.

And another thing, I love you and Melba.

Jamie said...

Mal Meninga ran for the ACT Legislative Assembly for the Libs, I think, but blew off the whole campaign during a rather limp interview on 666 ABC, his first chat on radio as a candidate.

He got up mid-interview, under questioning as tough as, "So, how about those Raiders", said something about not being able to do this anymore, and disappeared from political life.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Why do people take an instant dislike to Pauline Hanson?

It saves time.

I'm back tomorrow, BTW.

Anonymous said...

I recall Mal Meninga's abortive run for parliament was also the inspiration for the Chaser's "Mal" trophy, awarded regularly during election campaigns to whichever pollie made the biggest ass of themselves that week.

Also, what good god-fearing christian citizen would listen to 666 radio?

squib said...

Lewd I just want to say thanks for mentioning Ben Cousins because I've only heard him mentioned about fifty trillion times here in the west and I never get tired of reading about what Ben has for breakfast and what Ben's new gaff is like (apparently it has two bathrooms and three bedrooms everybody)

Anonymous said...

Well, it's off to a good start for Lewd Bob's paramour, Pauline.

If she can't handle Today Tonight, the easy-listening station of investigative journalism, she wouldn't last very long against real journalists.

wari lasi said...

Pauline Hanson. I just want to forget about her.

Warwick Capper? Jeeeeesus. I had forgotten about him, and will again.

Can someone post about something interesting? Like my kids, or the weather in Port Moresby, or what a vicious game water polo* is. How are the new fires in Victoria going? Even the news in Brisbane is boring. Saturday's Courier Mail's headline was "Violent Preps" or something, about 5 year olds terrorising their teachers.

* I saw my daughter (the big one) play on Saturday afternoon and it is indeed a rough old sport.

Lewd Bob said...

Can someone post about something interesting?

I'll shut up now.

eat my shorts said...

I wish I lived in Queensland so I could vote for Warwick Capper.

Sigh. You guys get all the good ones.

wari lasi said...

I'll shut up now.

Don't take it personally Bob. It just seems to be a slow news week. Mind you, those chaps in Pakistan have livened things up a bit.

catlick said...

I think Warrick has what it takes to be in politics:- a thick hide. In his porn career, which was both brief and small, he participated despite being severely undermanned. Shameless!

Anonymous said...

I think Warrick has what it takes to be in politics

Clearly not - he failed to file his application by the deadline.

Pauline will run unopposed. Well, except for them pesky LNP and Labor candidates.

catlick said...

"Clearly not - he failed to file his application by the deadline."

What, he didn't get it in?