Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Very Moving


I just moved house for the tenth time in 15 years. I can assure you I'm over it and I'll never do it again.

The stress is enormous. The logistics of buying and selling - particularly when dealing with banks, conveyancers and loan brokers - are extremely complicated, while the process of packing, organising removalists, changing addresses, moving, picking up keys, signing various documents signifying who knows what and then unpacking and settling in (with a 3 year old and a cat in horrendous heat) is a veritable nightmare.

What I didn't need was additional grief from Telstra. But really, what else should I have expected? I attempted to complete a 'move request' online, where you could migrate your home phone, mobile and internet all on one form. A brilliant idea which, of coure, didn't work. So I called the number specifically relating to moving. Moving house? Call this number. When I did, I just ended up in the same old queue with the same old menu. I waited a good ten minutes before it was answered. When it was, I dealt with a lovely guy who was more than willing to help, was sympathetic to the online request being faulty and was polite. He put through the request and said everything would be fine and when I moved in to the new address, all I had to do was call the bigpond number and they would 'flick the switch' and I'd have my internet.

Yeah right.

I called the number the day after moving in. The lovely girl based in Darwin said the home phone and mobile were done but there had been no request for the migration of the internet. She offered to put through the request then and there. For some strange reason it took 15 minutes of holding and listening to awful music and telstra ads. When she came back she said the internet would be up and running in 3 working days once she's processed the codes, whatever that means. In 3 working days it was, of course, not up and running at all. So I rang again. Unbelievably, the guy I spoke to this time said there still had been no move request. This is where simmering anger suddenly exploded. I demanded an explanation, got nothing near it and was promised (after another 15 minute hold) that it would be 'up and running' in 3 working days once he'd processed the codes.

That was yesterday. It works now. And they gave me a month's rebate. Aren't they great?

24 comments:

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

But the cat's OK?

Boogeyman said...

Hang on...

You've moved house every 1.5 years?

Moreover, you've bought and sold the houses you move to/from?

Surely, at some point, the conveyancing and moving costs must outweigh any cost benefit of selling/rebuying?

WitchOne said...

I hate Telstra. With passion. The staff are liars, including my ex manager who is the worst of the lot, they will screw you with or without your consent, it's just that if you don't give your consent the screwing is mental, professional and financial rather than physical.

Aesophia said...

I have yet to read up on the latest TSFKA posts... I will in a sec. But Ramon, if you don't have this or know about it, you need to, so here's my good karma for the day: http://store.theonion.com/owls-are-assholes-p-171.html

You're welcome in advance :)

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Bless you, Aesophia.

I've already ordered a dozen.

Now, what about Perseus' love life?

Aesophia said...

Ahhh Telstra (I've read the post now). You know Witchie, the ONLY good thing about Telstra was that we met :D

Everything else about it sucks balls. Everyone on the customer side of the fence gets screwed, everyone on the customer service side of the fence gets screwed. In fact. We should apply to Wiktionary.org and have a new definition in there:

Telstra (n): an Australian communications company, screwer over of consumers and employees alike.

Telstra (v): honorary four letter word; a derogatory word used in exclamation and dismay, usually accompanied by a myriad of other four letter words after being transferred for the fourth time and still haven't had your question answered or problem solved.

Telstra'd (pp): what happens if you are an employee or consumer of the communications company, e.g. "I've just been Telstra'd".

wari lasi said...

Last time I moved here I was told that it would be six weeks (Yep, SIX WEEKS) before they could connect the phone in my new place.

"Can you let the techs know that whoever connects my phone line gets a carton of beer".

When I got home a Telikom van was waiting outside and the line was connected within the hour.

I've got to duck out now and give a lady five grand for securing a property for us.

Corruption is grand. At least everybody knows what's goig on.

homesick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
homesick said...

Wasi, beer as a form of currency would be plausible in Australia.

I'm now considering offering rum or dope as a form of "get your lazy arse out here and fix the landline" bribery to my Telstra equivalent.. Cable & Wireless BVI.

Thanks for tip WL.

homesick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lewd Bob said...

Surely, at some point, the conveyancing and moving costs must outweigh any cost benefit of selling/rebuying?

Well, not quite. It's the first time I've moved from an owned property to an owned property, so this was especially difficult. 7 of the 11 properties in question were rentals and 1 was my childhood home.

Lewd Bob said...

And Ramon, yes the cat's fine. She's far happier now than before. She now has a backyard, a laneway and, importantly, air.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Huzzah!

WitchOne said...

No more glad wrap a la "Bad Boy Bubby"?

patchouligirl said...

I remember when they changed the name from Telecom to Telstra. The advertising campaign was something along the lines of 'the name has changed but the service is the same' and I remember thinking 'why dont they just change the service?' because its always been shit.

We moved in early December. Although I haven't been a Telstra customer in years (and wonder why any of you are?) and deal through Primus, we got cut off at the old address earlier than they had told me and then had to wait for Telstra to sort out line problems at the new house. The end result was a week with no phone. As I hadn't thought to give the ISP notice I was about 10 days without the internet. I simply decided to be patient - there was plenty of other stuff to occupy myself with and we did eventually get reconnected to everything.

My beef is with Australia Post redirections. I told some people we were moving and figured the redirection would alert me to any others that needed to know. We had a P O Box and a street address so I put two redirections in place. The sorting centre has stuffed it up more than once. I would advise anyone moving to send themselves a letter to their old address registered mail to test and track the redirection. I did and guess what? My suspicions that our mail wasn't getting to us were confirmed. We've been here two months and I'm still not convinced we are getting all our mail. This has been by far the biggest problem with our house move.

Lewd Bob said...

Excellent point PG. Why indeed am I with Telstra? I have no idea. I really don't.

catlick said...

Yes yes, I hate Telstra too. One may suffer if one uses the Telstra copper land line with another telco, (delays in reporting/repairing faults, willful delays in processing 'churn' documents). The fees Telstra charge for ADSL speed/size changes within their exchanges are hundreds of times the real costs. The charges for local call and std are nearly one hundred times the actual cost. I used to spend a fortune on telephony/internet, 35% of my annual income. Really. I have cut my costs by increasing my internet speeds, especially upload, which makes skype viable. I now make unlimited std calls within aus for $3 per month. I maintain the Telstra land line for ADSL access, use during power failures, and to ensure reasonable regional service. If more people used voip Telstra would be more likely to place real values on their infrastructure access.

Lewd Bob said...

Yes catlick, it's idiots like me who are too lazy to change because it's all too hard. Instead I pay extra for a bad service. Go figure. there's no limit to my apathy.

Puss In Boots said...

I feel your pain, Ramon. I've moved 14 times since the year 2000. And every single time I had problems trying to get the internet and phone connected. Foxtel is the worst though. I usually have to do without it for about a month, no matter how early on I order the relocation. Even though I hate Foxtel most days, you never know how much you miss it until you're stuck with sport on every channel on the weekends.

patchouligirl said...

I have a long list of things I refuse to have anything to do with. Telstra is one of them. Banks are another. Carpet and organised religion are on the list. 2 and 4 stroke motors. Kerosine heaters. Telesales people. Amway reps. Junk mail. Drugs, cigarettes and beer. Brussel sprouts. Licorice. Chicken schnitzel. Get your list and dont compromise your principles.

Lewd Bob said...

My list includes McDonalds, outer suburbs, reality tv, spiders and gay sex.

But PG, BEER!

Boogeyman said...

Is that your for or against list, Lewd Bob?

patchouligirl said...

I've never liked the taste of beer, coca cola or tea. For me its got to be wine, coffee or a strongbow.

Macdonalds is on my list but not on my 1 year olds. Those happy meals are hard to beat!

Lewd Bob said...

Let me be quite unambiguous Boogey, that was my AGAINST list. Thank you for prompting this clarification before further misunderstandings occurred.

And PG I agree on coke and tea. However if somebody told me I could never drink beer again I would do a Homer and jump out the nearest window.