Monday, January 11, 2010


Ok, well that was a hot one. Hot enough for me? Yes, thank you for asking, it was.

I'm sick of it and am thinking of moving to a) Sweden, b) Canada or c) Tasmania.

Pros and Cons?


Pros: Beautiful countryside, Swedish models, proximity to the rest of Europe.

Cons: The food, the prices and it's a long way to the closest test cricket venue.


Pros: Beautiful countryside, relatively liberal philosophy, maple syrup.

Cons: Shit beer.


Pros: Beautiful countryside, good pies, cheap housing.

Cons: A little too quiet, further from Europe than pretty much anywhere else except New Zealand, and I might run into Punter.


Kettle said...

Does Sweden have fjords? If so, I'd go with Sweden; what physical discomfort can't be resolved with the 'fj' combination?

Leilani said...

I'm thinking of building a humpy in the Otways for these hot days.

Got your cd today - thanks, plan to listen to it tomorrow.

Puss In Boots said...

Hot? This? Not even close. I'd be happy if it were another 5-10 degrees hotter.

eat my shorts said...

Well, you know which option gets my vote.

You don't have to worry about running into Punter, he's hardly ever here.

As for it being too quiet? Well, not right now it isn't, and when it is too quiet (i.e. in the middle of winter), Melbourne is less than an hours flight away. That's less time than it takes me to drive home & visit my parents from Hobart to the NW coast (4 hours on the road for that).

You are correct, however, on us being further from Europe than pretty much anywhere else. I can't help you there. My sister lived in Switzerland (I know that's not Sweden, but near enough, it begins with S & the natives are blonde) for a bit & loved it. However, she also stacked on the weight. I think it had something to do with cheese & chocolate. I've had some mates who lived in Canada for some time & said it was awesome.

In the pros for Tasmania, you failed to mention beer. I think you should examine why, and ask yourself some big questions there.

As for the heat, we reached the mid-30s today. It was pleasant. I went down the road & had awesome wood-fired pizza for ten bucks & shared a longneck with my mate while watching everyone jump in the river to cool off.

Dr. Golf said...

Minus 10 outside my window Bob.

The Coffee is really, really bad. Foods not much better (40 different types of chicken wings).

Canadian countryside is pretty amazing though. Lots to do. Im an hours flight from New York, Montreal, Chicago, Boston etc.

The people are....OK. A mix of over-politeness mixed with a little smug.

Society is quite liberal, yet people are fairly conformist and I feel over-regulated compared to Australia. You can get a gay marriage easily enough, but don't dare try to get a parking permit.

Perseus said...

It may have been 44 in Melbourne, but it it was only 33 in Lorne, and it rained.

patchouligirl said...

Victorians just can't take the heat.

wari lasi said...

Bob, I can't hide my disappointment that PNG didn't even get a look in.

Close to Oz. Very stable weather, raining today (it's the wet season) but still 27. The fishing is great. You can do whatever you like most of the time.

If you can ignore a completely ineffective (at best) police force, a virtual absence of social infrastructure and a profoundly corrupt government then it's the place to be. I'll buy you a beer.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'd be happy if it were another 5-10 degrees hotter.

I know it's been said before but you're a freak, Puss.

I might run into Punter

You might run into EMS!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Puss. I don't mind the heat. It's humidity I can't abide. Stupid foggy spectacles.

Dr Golf, you forgot the cultural aspect. Any country that can produce pearls like Degrassi and Trailer Park Boys is ok in my book.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You're both freaks.

Lewd Bob said...

Victorians just can't take the heat

And yet it gets hotter here than it does in Sydney. It also rains less here.

Anonymous said...

Melbourne averages more wet days per year though doesn't it Bob? Which I guess implies that it doesn't rain so much in Melbourne as it does drizzle?

Lewd Bob said...

Yes I was prudently quiet on that point Alex.

Leilani said...

I thought Melbourne had been reclassified as Australia's driest capital city?

I'm going to buy an air conditioner I hate it so much.

kitten said...

Why not New Zealand? It has both good beer and lots of cricket. Sometimes they are even good at it.

Puss In Boots said...

And proud of it!

If you want to experience real heat, try somewhere along the equator at sea level. It's glorious. The only time I have ever worn shorts and singlet in public. And the only time I have ever really sweated (is that a word?).

Melba said...

What about Tassie and Canadian models, Bob?

What are they? Ugly or something?

Lewd Bob said...

Wait a this a joke?

Melba said...

Er. Yes it is.

Now, proceed with your comment, sir.

Mr E Discharge said...

Carefull Bob, it could be a trap!

eat my shorts said...

I might run into Punter

You might run into EMS!

He'd have to get a wriggle on. I'm outta here in a couple of months.

He might run into Brian Ritchie.

Or Charles Wooley.

Lewd Bob said...

I'd thank Brian Ritchie for putting my awkward adolescence into perspective.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I think we'd all like to thank Mr Ritchie for his services in that regard, Bob.

eat my shorts said...

Well, he's on triple j right now, so you should phone up and do so.

Or pop into the tea house next time you're in North Hobart and tell him yourself. He's a nice bloke.

Lewd Bob said...

Maybe I will EMS, maybe I will.

And after that, it's Morrissey's turn.

squib said...

I think it's milder here in the west. Also, we're allowed to have baths and so forth