From our source in The Lodge.

Mr Abbott tries out his new look before the election.

The scene; Late at night at The Lodge.

The Ruddster is thumbing through a well-read copy of Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason, a snifter of brandy beside him. Abigail the dog is snoring and farting happily in front of the fire while Jasper the cat is tinkering in the corner, putting the final touches to his anti-dog death ray. Suddenly there is a knock on the door and a certain Welsh-born, red-haired Deputy Prime Minister enters with a sheaf of papers.

The Ruddster: “Jules, come in, sit down. Would you like a drink?”

Julia: “Oooh, thanks comrade. I’ve brought the latest from our mole in the Liberal Party. It’s their strategy for the coming Federal election”

The Ruddster: “Good man, that Malcolm.”

He starts reading and looks up at the Deputy PM.

The Ruddster: “Jules, have you read this?”

Julia (trying unsuccessfully to suppress a smirk): “Oh, yes.”

The Ruddster (reading): “Focus on IR…bring back ‘flexibility’ into the system…bash the unions…”

The long silence is broken by gusts of hearty laughter as The Ruddster and Jules stagger around the room, wiping tears from their eyes. Abigail makes a frantic bolt for the door, while Jasper makes a mental note to widen his device to include humans.

Finally the laughter subsides.

The Ruddster: “Oh dear, Tony. He really is the gift that keeps on giving. Another drink, Jules?”