Monday, October 4, 2010

He what!?

Jonathan Franzen. Does he take his glasses off when he puts on the blindfold?

I’m a sucker for a decent red read as the next alcoholic* but in the past I’ve tended to shy away from so-called “blockbuster” novels, such as Jonathan Franzen’s The Corrections as I suspect I either won’t understand it, won’t enjoy it or might run into some hideous geek from a Book Club while buying it

That said, I also enjoy a good bureaucratic fuck-up, so I was rather amused to see this story about Franzen’s latest novel Freedom.

The story notes

Tens of thousands of copies of Freedom, the new novel by bestselling author Jonathan Franzen, have been recalled after an early draft of the book was printed by mistake.

Best-known for his bestselling 2001 novel The Corrections, Franzen has received a tidal wave of hype in Britain and the United States for Freedom, with one reviewer calling it the "novel of the century".

But publishers HarperCollins say the version of Freedom released in Britain last week contained dozens of mistakes.

"It was a typesetter's error. The books have around 50 punctuation and spelling mistakes. The typesetter sent the last-but-one version," a spokesman confirmed.

Readers with the botched copy of the book can exchange them for new ones by calling a special hotline "and we expect the new edition, including the final corrections, to be available early next week," the spokesman said.

Now obviously, I suspect people who received the faulty version will hang onto it on the off-chance of making an absolute motza out of it later but what really had me scratching my head was this comment.

Freedom - the story of a dysfunctional American family - was a labour of love for the author, who at times he wrote blindfolded and with earplugs to overcome crippling writer's block.

Now the earplugs I can understand, but blindfolds?

However Jonathan Franzen is an award winning and highly praised novelist and I am not, so I thought I’d give it a crack.

Ckfjgpdpf kfoodiir fjjjtkjelocfpototridkrir ofgofidrp fffoirptpgpgiririeopotiiri fff;

Once I get to the required 500 pages, I might send it in to the Man Booker people.

Wish me luck.

*Which is obviously why I tend to avoid Man Booker winners.

28 comments:

Puss In Boots said...

Dude, you are a shoe in for the Man Booker prize with that! They will be falling all over themselves to reward your creative genius.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Thanks, Puss.

How are the wedding plans going?

Mr E Discharge said...

Ckfjgpdpf kfoodiir fjjjtkjelocfpototridkrir ofgofidrp fffoirptpgpgiririeopotiiri fff;

Anyone familiar with the Icelandic translation of Finnegans Wake will recognise this for what it is.

Blatant Plagarism!

Alex said...

My best guess is that the blindfold helps you to stop rereading and agonising over every sentence you type.

Also, Ramon, it may help you to know that the "f" and the "j" have little bumps on them so you can tell where your hands are on the keyboard without looking.

Of course, I don't read fiction, so what would I know. You may well be on the road to world-renowned literary celebrity-hood.

Puss In Boots said...

They're going ok, Ramon. I took up your suggestion and ordered 12 bottles of a wine I like.

I also have an art project for Alex, if she's interested...

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

the "f" and the "j" have little bumps on them

So they do, Alex!

I hadn't noticed that underneath all the dirt and tobacco stains.

And Puss, that's good thinking.

squib said...

If you're going to type blindfolded, it also helps if you can type with more than 2 fingers

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I think that's part of my problem, Squib.

That and not being a genius novelist.

squib said...

Mine, too

Shame, really

Alex said...

I also have an art project for Alex, if she's interested...

I won't agree to do it until I know what it is; but am I interested? You betcha!

Puss In Boots said...

Could you send an email to pussinboots06 at gmail dot com? I'll give you all the details!

Alex said...

You have Gmail, Puss. But don't get too excited. It's just from me.

Lewd Bob said...

Ckfjgpdpf kfoodiir fjjjtkjelocfpototridkrir ofgofidrp fffoirptpgpgiririeopotiiri fff;

I particularly like this passage:

locfpototridk

Dr. Golf said...

Aussie GOLD in the pool!!!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Yeah, Dr G.

That'll teach the Welsh!

Alex said...

Has anybody found a decent guide to what's going to be televised and when? I don't particularly care about who wins what, but I do enjoy watching the gymnastics and synchronised swimming.

Lewd Bob said...

I do enjoy watching the ...synchronised swimming.

Really?

Puss In Boots said...

Men's gymnastics was on Foxtel last night, Alex. I don't know when the women's is on. I like watching it too. It's probably the only sport I can watch.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Alex is a big girl.

Alex said...

Thanks, Puss. Unfortunately, I don't have pay telly, so I'm stuck with Ten and One and the guides I've seen seem vague at best.

Really?

Really*. Figure skating, too.

Alex is a big girl.

I think it's pretty is all. Shut-up. *sniff*

*Although, according to Wikipedia (keeper of all thing true and correct), there's not going to be a team event. Only duet and SOLO. Synchronising with yourself - lame!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You can call me a "dick-biscuit" if you like, Alex.

Alex said...

Aw Ramon, I just can't stay upset with you, ya big lug. *blush*

wari lasi said...

I think synchronised swimming and rhythmic gymnastics are lame. Yeah, pretty I suppose, and they look really hard to do and probably you need to practice a lot and everything. But lame nevertheless. Teh first time I saw rythmic gymnastics I thought, "What the fuck is this?"

wari lasi said...

That's my first ever "teh", it was completely unintentional. A bona fide typo.

Alex said...

I don't know about you in particular, Wari, but I think a lot of people dislike synchronised swimming and rhythmic gymnastics because they're more-or-less competitive forms of performance art and therefore don't belong in the realm of "serious" sports (like golf and darts). But I'm not a sports enthusiast. I just like watching people doing beautiful flowing movements arranged into beautiful complex routines.

Oh, all right. I am just a big girl.

Dr. Golf said...

My partner grew up in Mildura and still occasionally calls the abc "channel 6".

Lewd Bob said...

I like to call SBS Oh-28 for a bit of a lark.

eat my shorts said...

Oh. My. God. I've only read about this 6 times this week on my way to work. (Three via the free Metro on the Tube and three via the free Evening Standard on the Tube, the Metro, btw has excellent horoscopes).

I've heard of Franzen, but never read any of his work and nothing made me want to punch him more than reading that some twat stole his glasses, the police sent out a helicopter after said twat, said twat tried to collect a ransom for the glasses and then said twat was apprehended. This happened the other day in London.

What a twat. What twats. I'd like to punch both of them. In the twat.

Twattage. Hmmphh. (Can I have a fucking holiday yet?!)