Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Your day's viewing on Ramon TV

6:30 Kids’ Korner
All your cartoon classics including; Piss-weak Ant, Angry Cat and What’s that Smell. Warning: strong language, violence, horror.

10:30 Cricket
Live from the Gabba in Brisbane, the First Test in the Ashes series. True, the actual match doesn’t start for a month and all you’ll see is an empty oval and the occasional seagull but it’s still more interesting than The Circle.

6:30 News
News from around the globe and Tasmania.
Warning: strong language, violence, horror.

7:30 Meet the Press
Join your host Ramon Insertnamehere from the beer garden of his local as he flicks the hard questions and cigarette butts at journalists who annoy him. Tonight – Fran Kelly.

8:00 Get Fucked!
Wacky hi-jinks with Australia’s boganist witch. Tonight, Samantha accidentally turns Darren into a Jim Beam and coke and a carton of Winnie Blues. Again.

8:30 Everybody loves Perseus.
Join Australia’s most lovable love-gumby as he fucks up another date.
Warning: strong language, violence, horror.

9:00 Huntsman 3-D
Drama, 2010. Starring Tilda Swinton, Leonardo DiCaprio and Keanu Reeves.
Warning: strong language, violence, horror, grammar.

10:30 Overnight
Join us as we replay the 2005 Ashes series.
Every. Single. Ball.


Anonymous said...

Awesome. I used to love Piss Weak Ant as a kid. His epic battles with The Legion Of Evil Foreign Stereotypes kept me glued to the screen for hours.

patchouligirl said...

The day's viewing on Patch TV would be an endless string of documentaries about far away places . . think Global Village "visions of Greece", Francesco's Mediteranean voyage, the seven ages of Britain . . all in brilliant colour on my 50" plasma. Throw in an episode of 'who do you think you are' or the odd cooking show and I'm in heaven.

squib said...

These days, my life is pretty much the test pattern

patchouligirl said...

Everybody loves Perseus sounds good though, I'd gladly add that one to the day's viewing. You need a little cringe factor in there somewhere.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I was more a fan of Angry Cat, Alex, with her catchphrase of "where's my dinner, you cunts!"

eat my shorts said...

I like the fact that one's viewing of news from around the world (and Tasmania) and one's viewing of Perseus' love life involves strong language, violence and horror. All is as it should be.

But I have to admit I hadn't heard much lately about any news at all (full stop, nothing, not a jot) in Tasmania from the rellies back home, so I'm thinking it'd be pretty much like any other Australian national news broadcast where everyone pretends Tasmania doesn't actually exist. (It makes us all feel better to do so.)