A Tribute to Johannes Kepler - Not a Cunt

"I'm going to tell Galileo about this...as soon as I finish my special fried rice."

A day is the time it takes the Earth to complete one revolution on its axis. A year is the time it takes the Earth to complete one circuit of the sun. There are approximately 365 days in each year. More accurately there are 365 and a quarter days. That's why we have a leap year every four years, to catch up to the antics of the cosmos. However that's a slight over-compensation so every hundred years, despite it being a 'fourth' year, there is no leap year. This, however, is a slight under-compensation, so every four hundredth year, despite it being a 'hundredth' year, is a leap year.

So 1900 was not a leap year, but 2000 was.

I dunno who made the definitive decision that the Earth year is exactly 365.2425 days long, but I'm certain that figure would not have been arrived at if not for my favourite mathematician/astronomer Johannes Kepler, who described elliptical orbits and was not a cunt.

And it's a proven fact* that anybody, including Jonathan Coleman, born on 29 February is a cunt.

What, me worry?

Kevin Barnes of Of Montreal is also not a cunt, but he most certainly is bizarre. This video is rated PNFK (Probably Not For Kids):



* Possibly not a fact.

Physicists who rock!

Sorry about that Niels.



It’s been a quiet week here at Spin Towers, so I’ve been looking over some old TSFKA posts.

In the one about Christian Doppler*, I noticed that I promised a post about Niels Bohr – a promise I never delivered, for which I apologise.

So here goes.

Ahem.

Niels Henrik David Bohr (1885-1962) was a Danish physicist who made fundamental contributions to understanding atomic structure and quantum mechanics.

Hope that clears things up.

Also – can we please stop talking about the Commonwealth Games? The only reason why we care about the Commonwealth Games is that we can beat other sporting super-powers** in a contest nobody else in the world gives a flying fuck about.

Also also - there will be no PSF tomorrow as I will be on holidays.

Feel free to talk about me when I'm gone.

*You must remember that one. That was when Alex came out as a chick.

** Like Scotland.

Christian Doppler Week!

God bless you, Christian Doppler!

As many of you are aware, the Doppler Effect was first identified in 1842 by Austrian physicist Christian Doppler in his absolutely cracking work Über das farbige Licht der Doppelsterne und einiger anderer Gestirne des Himmels.

However, I realise some may be unfamiliar with this seminal piece, so in the interest of promoting the groundbreaking work of Herr Doppler, I provide a brief summary.

The Doppler Effect is that effect when the pitch of a sound coming from a moving object – say, the horn on a train – appears to change even though passengers on said train would hear no alteration. This is because the sound waves ahead of the train from the horn are compressed while the waves behind the train are elongated, thus producing this apparent change.

It can also apply to astronomy, where galaxies moving towards our solar system are observed to be a different colour than those galaxies moving away from us; a process known as Doppler colour-shifting.

Now, thanks to Christian Doppler, we can talk with some confidence about “the Doppler Effect” instead of mumbling pathetically about “that weirdo thing with the train horn.”

Please, there’s no need to thank me.