Some holiday thoughts.

Christmas Day.
Oddly enough, the gathering of the Insertnamehere clan at Lenin House this year did not result in fist-fights, food-fights or agonised discussions about who did what to whom in 1976*.

From this I conclude the best way of dealing with my family is to shove vast amounts of food into them as soon as they arrive.

The Second Test.
Could this match get anymore exciting?

I spent most of Sunday, watching the game with my jaw firmly lodged on the floor.

And how fuckin’ good were JP Duminy and Dale Steyn**?

I hope you’re enjoying the match, Melba. It really doesn’t get much better than this.

Harold Pinter
Proof again that being a playwright of some note doesn’t stop you from being a complete cunt in other aspects.

And here was me thinking Ertha Kitt was rhyming slang.

*I didn’t even tell my sister to “put a feckin’ sock in it” when she kept rabbiting on and on about reflexology – such was my restraint.

**The answer – fuckin’ good!

This delta is full of silt

Delta Goodrem in full voice

Delta Goodrem is gracing our shores with her Believe Again tour.

The original title of Please, please, oh God I’m so desperate. I tanked in the US and my career is in free-fall was rejected by the record company execs as “not snappy enough”.

Correction.

The above picture is of the Nile Delta toad and not the popular musician Delta Goodrem.

The error occurred because the sub is a slack cunt.

We apologise to the toad and her family.

Let the ignoring of the Games commence!

Emperor Constantine I also failed to give a shit about the Games

Well, the Olympic Games are about to commence in Beijing and I can’t tell you how excited I am about the prospect of completely ignoring them.

Let’s see – do I have my “Fuck the Olympic Games” kit ready?

Crate of Coopers Ale stashed away in the shed – check.

Boxed collection of Futurama DVDs – check.

Three-volume history of the Byzantine Empire – check.

Looks like we’re ready to rock and roll.

Don’t imagine, however, I’m opposed to all aspects of the saturation coverage the Games will get – this is a golden time for the spin-doctoring community.

Kruddy could announce the creation of an Australian Soviet republic, the compulsory sterilisation of all conservative voters and invasion of New Zealand and the punters would say “yeah, yeah, whatever you say Kev. Does anybody know the results of the third heat in the high-diving?”

Why does the Age continue to slobber over Chris Lilley?

One of the more sick-making events in the Australian media over recent months was the Oz’s Dennis Shanahan’s slobbering over John Howard in the lead up to the 2007 election.

I’m sure you remember.

“The ‘little master’ John Howard is set to defy the polls and be returned for a record…

“Oh wait, he’s been tossed out on his arse.

“Bugger.”

The other was the Age’s slobbering over Chris Lilley.

I’m sure you remember.

“Chris Lilley is a comedy genius. Chris Lilley is the comedy messiah. Anybody who doesn’t like Chris Lilley is a yucky poo-head.”

And on and on it went, especially in the “Green Guide”*.

Now, not content with disgusting us most of last year, the Age is now set to take on the English for their effrontery in not falling to their knees at the shrine of Lilley.

The journo, Lucy Battersby reports in today’s paper;

The ABC production, which was sold to BBC3 in May, premiered on Tuesday night and was watched by 194,000 viewers. While creator and star Chris Lilley was recently awarded Logies for most popular actor and most outstanding comedy, the British reviews suggest new audiences may take a while to warm up to his comic style.

Leaving aside the question why is this in the news section, I’m amused by the line “new audiences may take a while to warm up to his comic style”, suggesting there is no option that the Brits too will fall into line.

Comedy often doesn’t translate well into other countries and the negative reviews do have a point, especially this comment;

"Summer Heights High is a richly detailed and determinedly offensive creation. At the same time, it's a bit too studied, and not as shocking as it wants to be. Nor as funny."

I have no strong feeling about Chris Lilley either way, other than to say Summer Heights High was not the work of transgressive genius the Age wanted it to be.

But cripes Luce, ease up a bit.

*You note - I name no names.