Wednesday, August 19, 2009

What I have done on my holidays - so far.

One of the many famous people who have never holidayed in Preston

As some of you may know, I've been holidaying in the beautiful People's Republic of Preston this year.

Preston is home to a great many man-made and natural wonders including, but not limited to;
* Desci,
* me
* hipsters wearing black,
* junkies,
* Greek grandmothers wearing black,
* Desci.

Holiday activities thus far include;
* reading,
* drinking,
* staring thoughtfully at the garden,
* annoying the cat,
* catching up with old friends for drinks,
* more drinking.

Time well spent, I'm sure you'll agree.


squib said...

What is it near? I've never heard of it

This reminds me, I'm not here this Friday - Lewd, can you do the poetry?

Mr E Discharge said...

Wasn't there a Travel Advisory issued for Preston following the recent terrorist arrests there?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

That's only for people thinking of travelling to Preston, Mr E.

For people already living here, it's all OK.

Squib, Preston is the gateway to sunny Reservoir - where they eat their young.

Puss In Boots said...

Off topic, but does this mean we'll all be hearing from Imelda soon? What fun!

Perseus said...

Do they make Preston postcards? They make Croydon ones, so it's likely...


Puss - that article made me think of two things.

One: If the courts decide you can't call a celebrity a 'skank' on the internet, we're all fucked.

Two: Nobody would have ever known this model was called a skank if she simply ignored the website in the first place. By pursuing the blogger, she's bringing way too much negateive attention to herself.

Three: Does this mean I can sue Boogeyman?

Mr E Discharge said...

Off topic, but does this mean we'll all be hearing from Imelda soon? What fun!

Noted Melbourne Barister and Aerial Photographer Walter Jeremy Sear will be seeking a High Court ruling on the use of the word "Cunt".

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Pers, I don't recall seeing Boogeyman call you a skank.

I don't know if I want to live in a world where you can't call Walter Jeremy Sear a "cunt".

Perseus said...

No, but he called me a 'love gumby'.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Speaking as somebody who almost passed second year law at uni, I don't know if "love gumby' is actionable.

Mr E Discharge said...

I would like to make a public apology for a typo in my previous post. I did not mean to imply that Walter Jeremy Sear knows how to make good cup of coffee.My profound apologies to anyone who may have been offended.

Anonymous said...

Does this mean I can sue Boogeyman?

he called me a 'love gumby'.

I'm quite happy to defend this statement in court.

I have megabits of online archives, even from this blog alone, to draw upon for my legal defence.

Not only would no court in the land convict me, I'm willing to bet I'd walk out of there with a hefty payout for my trouble.

Bring it on, love gumby.

PS. Puss will be typing up all my affidavits - with double spacing!!!

Mr E Discharge said...

You might consider getting Wally Sear to represent you. You would probably lose, but you'd be in with a chance for an OA medal for "Services to Irony" next year.

Melba said...

Shit, the spacing thing has leaked to this thread. Can I state, for the record, it wasn't about double or single spacing, it was about double or single spacES after full stops.

And is a love gumby a bad thing? He's green, flexible and obviously amorous.

Anonymous said...

Could even Walter Jeremy Sear fail to prove that Perseus is a love gumby?

I guess anything's possible.

If Puss won't represent me then I'll get Ramon to do some sort of 'bush lawyer' thing, and defend me replete with swag hat and ocker accent.

Puss In Boots said...

I'd represent you, Boogey, but I think Ramon in a swag hat and ocker accent sounds much more entertaining!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...


Melba said...

It's "strewth" Ramon. Did you not read Bazza McKenzie?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...


And it's a corruption of "God's truth", which makes it Struth in my book.

Melba said...

With double spaces after?

WitchOne said...

Now I want to come to Preston. There is some great food available there you know. All those "ethnic" shops.

eat my shorts said...

Sounds like my kind of holiday, Ramon. Especially the reading, drinking and annoying the cat activities.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

After bitter experience, EMS, I've come to the conclusion that holidays where you actually go somewhere are always a bit of a letdown.

And the cat is now sulking in a corner, clearly wishing I was dead.

eat my shorts said...

It'll come round.

You didn't pull its tail, did you?

When we were kids, we used to grab our cat, wrestle it up to the top of the wardrobe and test that old saying that a cat always lands on its feet.

They always do.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

No, I picked her up and tried to play her like a piano accordion.

The Boy was greatly amused.

The cat, less so.

eat my shorts said...

If you tickle their tummy at the same time as you're teasing them, it tends to distract them from the teasing.

You're happy, because you get to tease the cat and the cat's happy because it gets a tummy tickle. Win-win.

Pepsi said...

Yeats looks like he needs his tummy rubbed in that photo.

Ophelia said...

I miss Imelda and the '3-4 litres of ladycum' stories.

Ramon, you sound as if you're having a great time on your holidays. Have a frosty Coopers for each of TSFKA's followers!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Imelda and her unique brand of gibberish was the reason why I got into this blogging caper in the first place.

And the Australian test team - WTF?