Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Good. Now can we fucking move on?

Not the "controversial St Kilda triangle".


In news that will mean little to those outside Melbourne, the “controversial St Kilda triangle*” will now not go ahead.

My attitude has always been “build the fucking thing, don’t build the fucking thing, I don’t care, can we just get to the latest cricket score” but for some reason the Age and the local ABC convinced themselves that all of Melbourne were desperately concerned about a patch of waste land** in St Kilda.

Ask them why and you usually got some guff about “St Kilda being Melbourne’s lounge room***”.

This might be a north-of-the-river thing but my response to the whole “Melbourne’s lounge room thing” is – is it fucking bollocks.

St Kilda, in my opinion, is an over rated shit-hole**** and I don’t give a fat rats arse about the “controversial St Kilda triangle”.

And a warning.

The film Bolt is not a documentary about conservative writer Andrew Bolt but is instead a kid’s film about an animated dog and his wise-cracking feline companion.

The cat has all the best lines.

* That’s the way they always wrote it, the “controversial St Kilda triangle”. Sheesh.

** Possibly the waste land that inspired TS Eliot. Or not.

*** You may indeed have a lounge room filled with several hundred overrated restaurants and several thousand shrieking yuppies. In which case, your lounge room is considerably larger than mine.

**** Sorry Melba.

28 comments:

Perseus said...

The controversial St. Kilda triangle.

The rebel trader Frank Penhaluric.

The breakaway republic of Chechenya.

Controversial senator Barnaby Joyce.

**

The Espy is still good. Aside from that, St.Kilda is an awful place.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Outspoken MP Wilson Tuckey.

"Outspoken" in this case code for "barking mad".

Perseus said...

Australia's second best spinner, Stuart Macgill.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

The breakaway republic of Barnaby Joyce.

RandomGit said...

The hamster had the best lines.

No not that one, the one in the conduit up Andrews bum.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Really?

I must have missed that extra.

Melba said...

I haven't been silent because I've been sulking.

Without buying into the whole fucking north-south, Sydney-Melbourne who's got more soul, better coffee, cooler residents argument, I AM glad the triangle thing is not going ahead.

It was going to be a shopping centre by the sea, a Chadstone monstrosity and would have been so fucking grotesque.

I am glad. I don't care what else you say about St Kilda, which I agree with for the most part, but I am glad about the triangle.

And once the yups/bogans stop visiting St Kilda, it might transform back into something ok.

I'm never selling, I will be a crazy old lady with purple hair down here, possibly with cats, and a strange cart stacked with flattened cardboard boxes, and hopefully become as renowned as the newspaper man on the Richmond bridge over the freeway.

For this is my goal.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

My goal was to open the batting for Australia.

Still waiting for the phone call from Punter.

Melba said...

Are you saying I'm NOT going to achieve my goal?

Although I've never seen you bat, Ramon, I think I have a much better chance of being that old witch-lady than you do with your dream.

But don't give up. Anything can happen.

PS Limoncello Day 34/80.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Anything can happen

Indeed.

In the event the entire Australian team dies in a tragic buss accident, every other Australia cricketer comes down with swine flu and every Australian male aged between 18 to 35 pulls a hamstring - I'm in with a real chance.

Limoncello Day 34/80

Come again?

Melba said...

I'm up to day 34 of infusion. The whole process will take 80 days.

Lewd Bob said...

Jesus. For me, if anything takes longer than 80 seconds I give up.

Melba said...

I feel sorry for Mrs Bob then, Bob.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You must be part cat, Bob.

Puss In Boots said...

I don't kmow about that, Ramon. My cat seems pretty determined to climb into my Christmas tree at the moment. He spent at least 2 hours on it last night. I dread to think what I will return home to tonight.

Lewd Bob said...

Ha, Melba. I just knew you were going to say that.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Puss, I'm trying to get my cat to use the new cat flap in the back door.

Me: "Come on, push the cat flap."

Cat: "No. Too hard".

Me: "Push the cat flap. It's just in front of you."

Cat: "No. You open it for me."

Me: "Push the Goddam cunting cat flap, you useless furry prick."

Cat: "No. Won't."

Me: "Here, like this".

I open cat flap, cat jumps through with a look of insufferable smugness on her face.

Puss In Boots said...

Dude, I freaking love your cat! Such personality!

We're getting our new kitten on Sunday.

Mad Cat Lady said...

I think we propped the cat flap open for a while until they got addicted to the convenience of it and then they had to put up with the swinging flap after that.

There was also the taunting with food, which was quite fun.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Puss, my I say how deeply disappointed I am that you didn't call your new kitten "Trotsky".

Deeply.

Disappointed.

Puss In Boots said...

I'm deeply disappointed I couldn't call him Fyodor.

Lewd Bob said...

I'm just deeply disappointed.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'm now wishing I made myself two ham sandwiches for lunch, instead of just one.

Melba said...

I just had two cold sausages and vita weets with tasty cheese on them.

One of the best kinds of lunch.

Do I make another pot of coffee?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

It's after 12 now, Melba.

I'd be having a beer.

Melba said...

I try not to drink so early Ramon. I have to be responsibubble, plus am collecting Important International Guests from the Airport later.

Mustn't have Alcohol Breath.

kitten said...

My cat managed to open the cat flap even when it was locked from the inside.
He'd hit it with his paw hard enough to make it bounce back, quickly get a paw underneath it, then pull it back far enough to get through it.
I'd be upstairs trying to sleep through the "bang bang bang bang" noises.

eat my shorts said...

The cat has all the best lines?

Of course it does.

As if you'd give the best lines to a dog. Dogs don't talk.