Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Perseus and Bob Make a Film - Day 1

At 5am on Monday morning 7 disparate individuals headed out into the dry Victorian countryside around Little River. There, they bickered and argued for endless hours over every shot, every detail and every grimace recorded on camera. They were linked only by a common interest in making and/or watching movies.

It was their first day of shooting a short film about betrayal, greed and extreme violence. Here's a picture of Perseus driving a Valiant just prior to his character - Sinister Gangster - topping a hapless hitchhiker.

Perseus looking for the 'go' button

It wasn't all fun and games as several people contracted sunburn, everybody was required to eat 2 pies for lunch and coffee was difficult to procure in the region. Little River had missed the coffee revolution.

Shooting outside an abandoned house, Perseus was required to act.

Perseus requesting the make-up girl

There were many dangers encountered such as erratic drivers, speeding trains and the local redneck community.

The crew wondering what the red button does

I've included an art shot because it was the best I took on the day.

Fanta and Perseus heading to their trailers

It was a 14 hour day complicated by slow driving, rising tides and precarious cliffs.

Perseus doing a Clint Eastwood while a crew member tries out for the Birdman Rally

I lost my voice during the day as a result of shouting obscenities at everybody at every possible moment.

Bob ruing his inability to shout at the sound guy


Ramon Insertnamehere said...

betrayal, greed and extreme violence

I thought we were finished talking about the federal Liberal Party!

Melba said...

Bob you're a spunk as well (as Perseus.)

BTW. Where's the beach at Little River? I thought it was just a dip in the road on the way to Cat Country. Is there another Little River down P's way?

Lewd Bob said...

Thanks Melba. But you should see me without the look of drunken idiocy and a chopper mo.

I explained badly. From Little River we ventured further to Airey's Inlet. This is where rising tides nearly took the life of 7 men and a chick.

Melba said...

The Chopper is good. I like those moustaches. Why do men think they look dreadful. To me they look very attractive. Nick Cave/ dangerous mixed with Dennis Lillee/manly.

Puss In Boots said...

I disagree, Melba. I think they look like 70s, pool cleaning, porn star moustaches. But then, I'm not a fan of facial hair in general.

Melba said...

I forgot about that ingredient. I like the look is all I can say.

What does your wife think?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Yeah Puss, what does your wife think?

Melba said...

Sorry Puss, and Bob. I thought it was Bob saying that.


Puss In Boots said...

Ha. Payback, Melba?

Lewd Bob said...

My wife quite likes it. I suspect she hates my current fallback which is light to medium beard.

I have to have some facial hair and have since I was 18. At least sideburns but preferably some sort of beard/mo combo. I like the opportunity to mix it up.

squib said...

Cool pics, very Nick Cave-esque

Melba said...

Not intentionally Puss. But yes, ha. Squib and Mrs Bob get it.

Have to go and see the vampire movie now.


Ramon Insertnamehere said...

And it pushes the Monk's budgie-smugglers off the front page.

It's win-win!

eat my shorts said...

OMG, you guys. That's all kinds of awesome.

Love the Valiant.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Pers looks a bit stressed in that photo, Bob.

Method acting or too much coffee?

Lewd Bob said...

He was unimpressed with the time it took to complete each shot, Ramon.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Ah, the life of the struggling thesbian.

Perseus said...

Hardly Perseus and Bob make a film. In actual fact, the film is written, directed and produced by Lewd Bob, and I was nothing but a ham actor with no acting experience, who was told to turn up at Little River at 6am in a suit. 14 hours later, I was allowed to leave, having appeared in about 30 seconds of the film. Even the sleeping scene (3 seconds) took more than an hour to shoot.

I'll tell you this: I have no interest whatsoever in the film-making process. I just want to watch them. My acting career is over. I was shit anyway.

wari lasi said...

Wow, we know real live movie stars.

Will it be like that new paranormal flick where it cost fuck all to make and will gross billions at the box office?

Will Perseus' next post be from the Cannes Film Festival?

Lewd Bob said...

A response to Wari:

1. No you don't
2. No
3. No

Perseus said...

And! And! Get this: I can't act, but when it came to the scene where I was shot, I was fucking awesome. They counted to three so I'd know when I was to react, and I did this brilliant fall, and knowing the film was a labour of love for my friend Lewd Bob, I selflessly fell knee-first head-second into ROCKS, wearing my most expensive suit... only to be told afterwards they didn't get it on film, and they didn't even need it, because you're not supposed to see me go down.

Two days later and my knee is still killing me.

wari lasi said...

Disappointing Bob. No point in asking for your autograph then.

Over acting Pers? I think eveyone thinks they can do a great dying scene.

My only claim to fame is a voice over I did for a Milo ad here. And six months later they replaced my voice with a local guy.

Kettle said...

Hey Bob, why it is compulsory that you have facial hair? Has Mrs Bob threatened to leave you if the hair packs its bags? Or do you feel it's a facial structural integrity thing?

I must say, I remember you once describing yourself as a 'beardy weirdy' but clearly, given your actual appearance (very Nick-Cave-super-cool, not Bill Odie), you gave us a bum steer!

Lewd Bob said...

Hmm, I doubt I've ever used the expression 'beardy weirdy' Kettle, but I won't flat out deny it because I certainly have had beards.

It's only compulsory because I like it. Nothing to do with structural integrity. I like the variety and find the clean shaven look - on me at least - boring as hell.

Anonymous said...

Two questions:

1. Why is Perseus doing a 'Walk like an Egyptian' dance in picture #4?

2. How did you get Earl Hickey to make a guest appearance in the last shot?

Kettle said...

Ah Bob, apologies. The more I try to remember the 'beardy' call the less certain I am about it. I would like, at this point, to retract my poorly recalled recollection and say but this: a person with sideburns to match my Dad's is a very fine person indeed.

Melba said...

Who can pick the logic-flaw in the following:

Perseus: "who was told to turn up at Little River at 6am in a suit"


A prize to the winner.

Dr. Golf said...

Thats pretty cool. Can you post a clip when its done.

Are you aware that both Little River and Airies Inlet were used in Mad Max?

...and Pers looks a lot like a young Steve Bisley in that photo.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Apart from "who wears a suit at 6AM", Melba?

Oh and Desci's getting married, by-the-by.

Lewd Bob said...

Certainly can either post a clip or a link Dr Golf. And I didn't know that about Mad Max, but it warms my heart given the long list of movies we're paying homage to (in our own humble, low budget way).

Boogey, funnily enough, Earl was going to be the name of my second born son who, stubbornly, refused to materialise. It's also my pseudonym in the travel adventures I have posted here previously.

No probs Kettle.

And Melba, I'm guessing that nobody before, ever, in the history of mankind, has worn a suit in Little River. Correct?

catlick said...

Ah, the life of the struggling thesbian. [sic]

Was Tallulah Bankhead there too?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Ah, Tallulah Bankhead!

"Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know – I've been using it for years."

Puss In Boots said...

Woohoo! Congrats to Desci! That's fantastic news.

patchouligirl said...

Wow, we know real live movie stars

Its nothing new to me. I shouldn't name drop but a friend of mine once had a cat that was in "Babe".

wari lasi said...

a friend of mine once had a cat that was in "Babe".

It was filmed near my Dad's place in Bowral. And my ex wife's cousin was a sparky on the set. He gets named in the credits and everything.

catlick said...

Upon seeing Babe at the cinema, and staying for the credits, (I am old fashioned) I was amused to see the disclaimer that "no animals had been hurt in the making of this film." I felt the animal eaten in the family roast scene might beg to differ.

Melba said...

No, my little dig was that Perseus said he'd BEEN TOLD to turn up in a suit.

But don't we all know that he never wears anything else? What would he have worn? Tracky dacks and lumberjack coat?

I rest my case.

Perseus said...

I have a pair of jeans!

I wore them once, too.

Melba said...

Hard to believe that a man who has made the suit his signature look would ever choose to wear the jean.

homesick said...

I am sure someone posted a pic of Pers on stage wearing a pair of rather fetching leather pants.*

It may have been as far back as TSSH.

* or trousers (for those of you in the UK)

Lewd Bob said...

I remember him wearing stretch Faberge jeans in 1987.

Perseus said...

Eastcost stretch, Bob. Eastcoast.

Never owned Faberge.

I also had the Eatcoast short-sleeved windcheater, which I thought was the GREATEST piece of fashion, ever.

Lewd Bob said...

Jesus, I had a short sleeved windcheater too. Crystal Cylinders I think. Why is no-one wearing them today?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Because they were ugly and useless perhaps?

Melba said...

1987 you say Bob? How old was he? Not full man. They say the human brain doesn't finish maturing until mid-twenties now.

Plus Faberge are girl jeans.

Anyone remember Colonial v-knee jeans? They were the acest in the early '70s.

I had a Crystal Cylinders top as well. Browns. went well with my knee-length green boardies.

Were they an Aus company?

Melba said...

Ramon you weren't in the surf group then, which doesn't surprise me.

Let me guess. Duffle coat (black) (covered with badges of course) and stovepipe black jeans, with black skinny paddle-shoe brogues with a turned up end?

If not duffle coat, one of those Aussie Disposals khaki ones, but I think that would have been anathema to your politics.

Maybe YOU had a lumberjacket?

Lewd Bob said...

Because they were ugly and useless

Ah, I see.

Faberge are girl jeans

I think you'll find that wasn't exclusively the case. The skinniest, most boganic, mullet wearing 80s boys wore them.

That's why I thought Perseus owned a pair.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

stovepipe black jeans, with black skinny paddle-shoe brogues with a turned up end?


I had winkle-pickers.

I think I might have had a lumberjacket when I was 10.

eat my shorts said...

I had winkle-pickers.


Ramon Insertnamehere said...

What are you sniggering at, young lady?

eat my shorts said...

You said "winkle-pickers".

That's hilarious.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

How could you not love these shoes?

Melba said...

I thought winkle-pickers had a blunter toe

Them the shoes (in the pic) that I was talking about. Not really with a turned up toe.

I was close!

Dr. Golf said...

Eastcost stretch, Bob. Eastcoast.

Eastcoast or Westco?

Melba said...

Wasn't it Westcoast cooler? Defo Westco jeans. Not sure about Eastcoast jeans.

eat my shorts said...

Yeah, but ... "winkle-pickers"? Srsly?

Old people have such funny names for things.

Next you'll be saying you've just been listening to the wireless or something.