I returned a bag of groceries
Accidently taken off the shelf
Before the expiration date
I came back as a bag of groceries
Accidently taken off the shelf
Before the date stamped on myself
Did a large procession wave their
Torches as my head fell in the basket,
And was everybody dancing on the casket?
Now it's over I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want (now it's over)
Or, I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do
I will never say the word
"Procrastinate" again; I'll never
See myself in the mirror with my eyes closed
I didn't apologize for
When I was eight and I made my younger brother
Have to be my personal slave
Did a large procession wave their
Torches as my head fell in the basket,
And was everybody dancing on the casket?
Now it's over I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want (now it's over)
Or, I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do
(So) So I won't
(Sit) sit at home
(And) anymore
(And) and you won't
(And) see my head in
(And) the window
(And) and I won't
(And) be around
(And) ever anymore
(And) and I'll be up there on the wall at the store
I returned a bag of groceries
Accidently taken off the shelf
Before the expiration date
I came back as a bag of groceries
Accidently taken off the shelf
Before the date stamped on myself
Did a large procession wave their
Torches as my head fell in the basket,
And was everybody dancing on the casket?
Now it's over I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want (now it's over)
Or, I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do
Now it's over I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want (now it's over)
Or, I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do
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30 comments:
You've felt like a a bag of groceries, Witchie?
You know what, that is almost depressing
I must be doing something wrong Squib.
I actually thought this was quite uplifting.
Also - I return to an old topic.
What if it slips while you're weeing? Then you're gonna have piss all over yourself
I thought that piece must have been written by Puss, the author was so germophobic.
Forget the germs, what about the carpet pythons?!
I actually think that's quite uplifting.
But then, I've just spent the morning at Ikea so almost anything is uplifting after that (starting with the lift up to the carpark on leaving the store - boom tish).
Kettle agrees with me, Squib.
Nyerr, nyerr, nyerr.
And Kettle, how on earth did you find your way out?
I defy even a triathlete to maintain a dry hover in that situation
Meh. It's not that difficult. I managed.
It wasn't written by me, and I don't own one of these things, but I am tempted to buy some now!
It was a fluke, Ramon. I was looking for the magazine holders, turned a corner and found the cash registers instead. Not one to muck around I muttered a quick non-denominational prayer to the Gods of Ikea, threw my credit card at the salesperson and ran for the carpark.
Whenever I get out of Ikea alive I think just how lucky I am.
Puss, I'm pretty sure Ikea doesn't stop the urinelle, just in case you were wondering.
Yeah but Ramon, Ikea is like Cormac McCarthy's The Road which makes a bullet to the head seem kind of uplifting
Ooh 'The Road'! That was fun, Squib.
It was probably a damn sight more amusing that Ikea, I suspect.
Ooh 'The Road'! That was fun, Squib.
I rest my case
The only time I go Ikea is when I need more pencils.
The only time I go to Ikea is when I need more coathangers.
Somehow, I always seem to end up buying my coathangers from Bunnings.
Don't think I've ever been to an IKEA.
Count yourself lucky, Alex. I wish I'd never been to one either. But now I've bought coathangers from them, I can't stop. I need them all to match.
What are IKEA coathangers like?
My favourites are the really strong metal ones with the shoulder indents, for hanging singlets.
I too have coathangers from Ikea, for the same reason Puss does. They must all match. I have the wooden ones with the black hooks.
I just have the plain wooden ones, without the pants hooks.
There is no way on this earth I would ever hang anything of mine on a metal hanger.
There is no way on this earth I would ever hang anything of mine on a metal hanger.
Why? Practical reasoning or eccentricity?
A little from column A, a little from column B.
Essentially, hanging your clothes on metal hangers can ruin them. They can transfer rust, and because they're so thin, they don't support your garments at the shoulders and stretch them out and distort them, and leave thin marks at the shoulders.
Of course, that depends on the sorts of materials your clothes are made of. I might hang a cheap cotton garment on a wire hanger, for instance, but I'd never hang anything silk on one.
Wow Puss, I never knew there was so much to know about hanging clothes. Guess I'm lucky that so much of my stuff is cheap rubbish, so I don't feel too bad about my negligence.
Oh! I didn't mean it to sound like that!
I didn't think you did. That last comment of mine was completely sincere and in no way intended as sarcasm. I didn't know there was such a difference in hangers and most of my clothes are cheap rubbish.
Also, I've been thinking about the pants hooks mentioned earlier. Did you guys mean clasps? I can't work out how you hang pants on hooks.
I meant clasps. Not sure what Pers meant.
You could also use plastic hangers, or fabric covered hangers. I just prefer the look of the wood ones. Plus, as I said, I need them all to match, so I'm stuck with the wood now!
I've got quite a few plastic hangers and I find they get brittle and need replacing every few years; I don't like the idea of fabric covered hangers, especially if the fabric never gets cleaned; I'm not a fan of the common flimsy wire hangers, either (except as a convenient source of wire). Wood seems like a good choice, Puss.
Happily enough, the fact that my suits are hung on cheap metal hangers is disguised by the beer and food stains and a faint covering of cigarette ash.
I just had an image of Faye Dunaway screaming 'no wire hangers!' in Mommie Dearest. I went thru a phase of purging all the wire ones and buying wooden ones. Then we had a vintage wardrobe that was very shallow and I had to buy craft ones and cut them shorter. Then we went back to a regular wardrobe and the plastic ones crept in. I don't care anymore.
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