What's made of iron and gets dipped in curry?Jesus Christ I hate it when companies advertise products which claim to be healthy when, in fact, they're not. Marketing products such as Special K, Nutri Grain and Milo as healthy foods is misleading, inappropriate and, quite simply, fucking wrong.
When spruiking Special K, Kelloggs target women with implictions that they'll get thin and miraculously obtain long, slim legs if they eat that shit. Special K is not made with wholegrains and therefore has very little fibre, contains 14.5% sugar and 536mg of sodium per 100g. It's not healthy, it's not nutritious and, incidentally and editorially, it tastes like shit.
Nutritional Value*: 2/10
Taste: 1/10
Nutri Grain is aimed at young boys and men. The implication made through the marketing is that they'll grown up to be fit and healthy or, if you like, 'iron men'. Fuck off, you creeps! It contains 32% sugar, 600mg of sodium per 100g and also contains highly processed grains which severely lack in fibre. They actually add vitamins and minerals. They add them! Isn't it easier to use healthy ingredients in the first place? Like corn, oats and wheat? Kelloggs, you are a bunch of cunts.
Nutritonal Value: 3/10
Taste: 5/10
Then there's Milo. Marketed in a similar way to Nutri Grain, it contains 47% sugar and 10% fat. They also add vitamins and minerals and, like icing on the cake (or milo on ice-cream), they use palm oil and have a track record of doing so**. It's not healthy but at least this one tastes ok.
Nutritional value: 3/10
Taste: 7/10
There are many, many more products that fall neatly into the above category. "Breakfast bars" for example.
#
Meanwhile, here's beardo legend Steven McBean from Black Mountain with some real rock n roll:
* Personal ratings subject to bursts of anger.
** Palm oil is an ecologically unsound ingredient which is grown in areas of cleared old growth forest in Malaysia which continues to reduce already fragile Orangutan habitat. They also use palm oil in Kit Kats.
Posts
33 comments:
I get a chuckle out of how a lot of these products have changed tactics ever so slightly in the past few years and now market themselves as "energy foods"*. I'd probably be laughing harder if I didn't see how readily little kids buy into the marketing bullshit. Fuckers. I think I'll keep to my much-derided cooked breakfast, thank you very much. Also, isn't like 90% of all chocolate ethically questionable?
I give the song 6.5/10. Was that whole wooded area meant to be inside the pub then, was it?
* I don't know about other people, but I usually feel terrible and sickly after eating sugary foods. I just stay away, now.
Personally I quite like Milo and ice cream.
But is it just me or is there something not quite right with Lisa's boob in that picture (and I mean her boob, not the dude standing next to her).
If 90% of chocolate is ethically questionable, then ... then ... ah fuck it. Who am I kidding, I don't care. It's chocolate, I'll still eat it.
*Cracks the guilts*
and I mean her boob, not the dude standing next to her
Ha ha EMS. That's funny. God, what an awful couple they were. He's somewhat of a helicopter magnate these days I hear.
My chemistry teacher at school said that in the case of most breakfast cereals there was more nutrition in the cardboard box they came in than the actual product itself.
Bob, PNG produces some "ecologically friendly" palm oil in the West New Britain province. Abeit by a Malaysian owned company.
And may I be the first? How was Johnny last night? Surely you watched Ramon. It was so flattering as to almost appear staged.
God, what an awful couple they were.
Well ... I'm not one to judge (who are we kidding? I am totally one to judge), but yeah, as far as couples go they were pretty shitty.
Basically, I don't trust anyone who tries to sell me a Muesli Bar.
Ian Thorpe, I'm looking at you... http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3017/2715632660_887050781e.jpg?v=0 (do excuse me, but I'm too slack to properly link; cut and paste, it's worth it).
More celebrity-boob appreciation. Maybe it should have its own recurring segment. Personally, I reckon it's just that she's got a more developed chest than your average woman. Nothing that unusual about it, though.
Agreed Bob it's so annoying and they think we are idiots.
Well most of us are. Most get sucked in.
Glad I'm not the only one who's on to them.
Milo on ice cream is ace but that's not what we were talking about. It's ok as long as you know it's NOT HEALTHY.
Bob, tell Persey to email me. He promised and he aint done it. Otherwise give him a hug from me.
God, what an awful couple they were
Really?
Worse than these people?
How was Johnny last night? Surely you watched Ramon.
Good God, no!
I had enough of The Rodent when he was in power.
Check out Kenny sucking in his gut.
We don't have any breakfast cereal at my house. Breakfast is usually either toast, boiled egg or homemade museli. I use Michelle Bridges museli recipe, which is: 2 cups rolled oats, 2/3 cup bran, 1/3 cup each sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds, 1/4 cup each craisins and raisins. A half a cup of this topped with a chopped up kiwifruit, mango or apple, half a banana and a half cup of lite milk comes in under 400 cals and is about as close to the perfect breakie as I've ever found. You get your two serves of fruit before you've even walked out the door and you know exactly what's in it.
I don't believe in breakfast
This is a bit weird but when I ate Nutri-Grain as a kid, I used to imbue each nutri-grain with a personality until it got so that I would feel guilty for eating my little friends
I was an only child
I was an only child
We would never have guessed, Squib.
Meanwhile, more shonky marketing has come under scrutiny from those champions of the truth, Choice.
Melba, I will pass along your message but will not hug Perseus. We have an unwritten agreement never to touch unless it's somehow required when we combine to tell a riotous story.
That's some good work Bob.
I like the song as well.
Oh and ask Perseus if he needs more lemons.
Ok Ramon. They win. Jack Marx wrote something in defence of them recently. Or more correctly ripped into one of her ex's who was "revealing all" in one of those "hard hitting", amazing exposes by one of the Award Winning Journalists at Woman's Day.
If you're going to be such an obvious fame whore, you deserve what you get.
ps. I liked the song too. Ask Perseus if he wants any scratch n sniff stickers. I have pineapple, caramel, fairy floss, and peppermint
Yeah ditto p.s. about the song. And I like the video. Is the name 'Black Mountain' from the Led Zeppelin song?
I don't believe in breakfast
*Gasp* Squib, you're a breakfast skipper?! I hope the squiblings aren't going to school hungry (Not that I think you'd actually do that or anything. You don't, do you?).
Wari, I think that I shall never understand the need of some people to "tell all" to the media. It makes you look like quite a bit of an arsehole, doesn't it? Of course, I don't understand the people who buy Woman's Day/Month/Week/Hour/etc, either; so I'm at a total loss, really.
Is the name 'Black Mountain' from the Led Zeppelin song?
Almost certainly.
You know, probably the best breakfast in the world in terms of economy, simplicity and simply being good for you is a banana. It doesn't need to be any more complicated than that.
PG, I agree that bananas are good for you (and delightfully tasty), but I think it would want to be a fairly hefty banana to keep you sharp and focused on work (or school) right through the morning. Just my opinion, though.
So Perseus is being offered hugs, lemons and multi-aroma scratch n sniff stickers. How does he stay away?
I'm a breakfast skipper too, Alex. I eat it under duress. I'm just not hungry until about 10am.
However, I realise it is important if you want to lose weight, so I force myself to eat something.
Tell Pers to email me. I have something for him.
How was Johnny last night? [...] It was so flattering as to almost appear staged.
I only just saw it. Are you referring to the bloke with the shoes, Wari?
Yep Alex, the wanker with the shoes, and his girlfriend. But I'm off the conspiracy theory, he was just a dick who failed to realise Howard was releasing his book the next day and an idiot like him was a PR Godsend.
A woman who doesn't like the girlie mags? Alex ... the "Alex is really a guy" rumours will start again.
Hey Witchy. I haven't missed you! How's school (middle aged HA!) going?
And have you thought about getting an iPhone? They're great.
I'm hoping, Wari, that at least Squib and Puss would back me on the magazines. But, incidentally, I don't understand readers of Zoo, either. And I noticed Howard's "shit-eating grin" (thanks, Mr Rabbit) during the incident. Guess even he was thinking about book sales.
How's life, Witchy? I don't know much about selling real estate, but I can advise not calling your neighbours once a week to ask if they're thinking of moving. It gets annoying after a while.
Got me Alex. The "men's mags" don't do it for me either. Zoo is particularly cringeworthy, the (very) little I have seen of it.
And if you ask me, Witchy has hit on a gig that's suits her.
that suits her even, i couldn't be bothered removing it and reposting
Wari, sometimes I look at the huge racks of garbage mags at the checkout (the ones aimed at teens are the worst) or the ACA/TT ratings and it depresses me.
And I'm not sure if calling somebody suited to real estate sales is particularly flattering or not. It requires spruiking a lot of shit, doesn't it?
I'm totally with you on the magazines, Alex. I try not to even read them in doctors' waiting rooms. I usually just play around on my phone instead. I will pick one up out of extreme boredom, but that's about it.
Someone has to do everything Alex. She's quite outgoing and comes across as genuine, which I find rare in that game.
Sorry to talk about you right in front of you Witchy!
Sorry Wari (and Witchy), that is quite different to what I originally thought you were implying.
Alex, I only require 3 cups of nescafe instant espresso coffee in the morning. LittleSquib has frozen yoghurt or toast and vegemite these days. As for BigSquib, I don't know, she leaves for school so early. She could be eating mixed lollies for all I know
I am with you on the mags. I don't give a shit about Angelina Jolie or the best fake tan
I do read Frankie (it's a bit twee and for a younger set but I just love all those doilies and owls). Also, New Scientist online
WitchOne, what state is that? We got fed up with real estate agents telling us that the lower level of some houses was "legal height when it was built." These places were usually around 2.1m. I know for a fact (from extensive research) that legal heights have actually been coming down, not going up. There has never been a time when anything less than 2.4m was legal. We tried to explain this to them so many times, but they were adamant. It was so frustrating, because they were spreading this misinformation around that it was ok to live in these lower levels, when it's actually illegal, and if there's a problem (like a fire, or something), the insurance company can void your policy because you're living in an uninhabitable space.
I was going to send my research on legal heights to a local newspaper to do a story, but then we bought a house and I got busy with renovations.
have you got an iPhone?
Ha ha. I just grab it every now and then and ping the stupid birds all over the place.
Post a Comment