Cousin Ted Finds a Turd in the YarraThe Election
Well, you know what? I've always hated the Liberal party, have never voted for them and would generally throw a turd into any small gathering of its supporters, but could not give even the smallest fuck that Brumby's government has gone (with all due sympathy for those who have lost their jobs).
The state coalition didn't really provide much of an alternative - it was more a case of Brumby losing it than Baillieu winning it - but Ted has always been labelled a moderate, doesn't appear to have any Kennett-like tendencies (this was the main instigator of my turd-throwing antics during the 90s) and is my second cousin once removed. I might even start calling him Cousin Ted. So, you know, whatever.
The Cricket
The first test was an odd one. Hat-tricks, double centuries, bad backs, poor catching. The Gabba wicket resembled a runway, the bowlers on both sides lacked penetration and Tony Grieg continued to make factual errors every third sentence. Adelaide offers little more to the bowlers - possible less - so perhaps we'll see 5 straight draws this summer. But for fuck's sake, drop Mitchell Johnson and Marcus North. What the fuck else do they have to do to lose their spots?
The Water
While it continues to bucket down outside, flood the Yarra and render my path to work totally inaccessible except to carp, my hot water system decided to pack it in on my 11th wedding anniversary recently. And what a pathetic race of people we've become when we are so reliant on hot water and can barely function without it. Boiling water in kettles and saucepans in order to fill the bath may seem like fun to the uninitiated but, I'm here to tell you, it ain't. Fortunately the plumber took all of 7 minutes to replace a part so small it couldn't be seen with the naked eye. He did, however, manage to charge $400 for it.
The Song
Woods is a lo-fi band from New York who, as far as I'm concerned, produced album of the year in 2009 with Songs of Shame. They followed it up with this year's At Echo Lake. This is Death Rattles:
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32 comments:
Ted is reported to be a reasonable sort.
Which is more than can be said of a lot of his front-bench.
I never understood the whole once-removed business. And I'm too lazy to look it up.
It better not start raining up here again. Riding to work in the rain is not as fun as it seems the first time.
I never understood the whole once-removed business.
In this case, it means Bob may have
a genetic predisposition for fiscal conservatism and a Gold Myer Card.
I'm entitled to a Gold Myer card? Just for being distantly related to Ted? Where do I get it? Ted's house? Will he let me in? Even without a tie? What if I produced the family tree? (See the rotten limb on the left, covered with lichen and termites? I'm that droopy looking leaf getting ready to fall.)
Once removed is a generational thing. My dad is Ted's second cousin. I'm removed by generation. There Puss, no need to look it up now. Assuming I'm right of course.
Who said anything about entitlement?
I would've thought my blue blood implied as much.
Despite having around 40,000 relatives, I've never bothered with the 'removed' stuff either. It just seems too complicated, especially when you have to factor in inbreeding. Families, eh?
Speaking of, it's recently come to light that one of my aunts maintains an online family tree that has biographies, photos, contact details, etc, etc. Don't know if anything can be done, but some of the more privacy-conscious rellies aren't too happy about it.
And Bob, aren't you one of those rugged, handy, outdoorsy type people. I thought you'd be laughing at the prospect of a cold shower. Or at least know a thing or two about system repairs.
Bob, aren't you one of those rugged, handy, outdoorsy type people
I'm afraid you have me confused with somebody else.
Bear Grylls perhaps.
Bear Grylls perhaps.
You kids and your fancy modern lingo (I have no idea what this means).
I thought it was you who used to post about trips up into the rainforest and places like that. No? Who was that?
I also think he seems a reasonable sort, can discern no Kennett-like tendencies and somehow the photos of him in his bathers are far less offensive than of Abbott.
But more importantly: did anyone see the pic of Ted in the paper a couple of weeks ago? Circa 1971, he was a raging spunk.
Yeah, he looks fine. But then, I thought Abbott looked fine, too. Actually, I thought the whole 'budgie-smugglers' riff wore out its welcome after the first day. Reasons being:
a) It seems weak to focus criticism on someone's appearance like that (especially someone like Abbott).
b) All things considered, I thought his physique was decent for a guy in his fifties.
c) Surf lifesaving seems a worthwhile enough thing to be involved in.
a) It seems weak to focus criticism on someone's appearance like that (especially someone like Abbott).
I thought it was about time a male politician had as much focus on his appearance as female politician's normally get. Not that I'm condoning either behaviour. I don't think politicians should be judged on appearance at all.
I don't think politicians should be judged on appearance at all.
I agree. Except Kristina Kenneally. She's hot!
I thought it was you who used to post about trips up into the rainforest and places like that
Yeah that was me, but I drove there in an air-conditoned rental car.
Oh my god. I can't believe I posted that comment with a greengrocer's apostrophe! I hang my head in shame.
You should indeed hang your head in shame, Puss.
Are you hanging your head in shame?
Oh, oh and I've got a great idea for your wedding.
You should hire a Mariachi band!
I am indeed, Ramon.
Ha! I'm not sure the boy will go for that idea.
What!?
Who wouldn't love a Mariachi band?
Lewd, your old email isn't working. I emailed to ask if it's ok if I send you a mixtape?
I emailed to ask if it's ok if I send you a mixtape?
Of Mariachi music, Squib?
Someone who doesn't like jaunty Mexican strings, Ramon?
There's a reason to call it all off right now, Puss.
He let me have a wall of shoes, Ramon. I think I have to let that one slide, however much it pains me.
I suppose all successful marriages are built on compromises, Puss.
Alex, your Aunt isn't observing the usual conventions regarding 'living' relatives and not posting their names, dates of birth etc. I think she can be sued for that. Posting such details online can lead to identity fraud not to mention upsetting relatives generally. Not a smart move when you often need your living relatives to help with your research. The Birth, Death, Marriages Departments in each state won't provide details of births less than about 100 years old, marriages less than 50 years ago and deaths less than 30 years ago for the same privacy reasons. The way I went about it with my family history webpage was to include living relatives names and photos only where they had contributed to the page and given permission, only mentioning names and year of birth but no other details, and offering to omit anyone who objects to finding themselves mentioned. For example I had a relative provide a family photo of all his children and grandchildren and posted it, taking his donation of the photo as permission but will have to remove it if asked by anyone in the photo. I haven't had any problems so far.
Of Mariachi music, Squib?
no. It's going to be music so happening that it hasn't happened yet, Ramon
And Puss, you should hire a morris dance troupe
Oh and on my webpage I haven't included family trees of living relatives, only dead ones and most visitors to the site know where they fit in. I have a separate PAF (personal ancestry file, get it from the LDS family search site) which I can simply email to relatives who ask for it. This file includes all the names, including living relatives but only year of birth for the living ones. I figure it's not as big a breach of privacy as posting their names online for the world to see and I only email a copy of the file to people I'm fairly sure are related. You have to also remember that lots of people have no problem posting their name, date of birth, home town etc etc on the likes of facebook so it seems a bit lame for the same people to start getting anxious about being in a family tree.
And Puss, you should hire a morris dance troupe
Seems like a reasonable compromise to me.
You have to also remember that lots of people have no problem posting their name, date of birth, home town etc etc on the likes of facebook so it seems a bit lame for the same people to start getting anxious about being in a family tree.
I try not to post much about myself at all on the internet, and I have minimal photos on Facebook. I think I only have 2. I get very annoyed when anyone posts information or photos about me online without asking me first. We're even going to put a line on our Order of Service for the wedding stating we'd appreciate people not posting photos of us online. They can put everything else up of the wedding, just as long as we're not in the photos.
I was actually discussing this with my assistant yesterday, how even 5 to 10 years ago, people would ask someone's permission before posting about them online, or putting up a photo. I think it's a shame it doesn't happen anymore.
By the way, this isn't in relation to your family tree, but about people just posting stuff up on Facebook/blogs without asking the people involved. I understand you have to have membership to those family tree sites, so the exposure is less.
Not sure which email address you used squib, but you can use lewdbobatgmaildotcom in future if you wish.
And yes, I always embrace mixtapes with open ears.
Thank you. Do you have an address?
Squib: Will anyone but Bob get to hear this mix-tape?
Puss: I think you should have Morris dancers performing to mariachi music.
Patch: if only everyone was as considerate as you. You're right that social networking has desensitised a lot of people to the idea of having personal info online. In fact, a vast majority of my family members aren't concerned at all. But there's still a few who shy away from that sort of thing. Also, we're not just talking about a list of dates. She's put up details on people's education, employment, military service, criminal & medical history (though a few details lack accuracy). To top it off, I have a cousin who's a transexual and a number of rellies who are either the victims or products of incestuous rape - and those are not the sort of things you tend to whack up on a Facebook profile.
I understand you have to have membership to those family tree sites, so the exposure is less.
Not with this one. It was discovered through a random Google search. And I can only imagine how much it would suck to look up your name and find the fourth result from the top is a public declaration that you used to be a man and your father and grandfather are the same person. There's no talk of legal action at this stage, but I wouldn't rule it out entirely.
Puss - We're having an elephant at our wedding, perhaps two. You're welcome to borrow them if you like.
Was there an election somewhere, and a game of cricket? Well blow me down.
Alex, I don't have any mixtapes left but I have some surplus 'bah humbug' badges if anyone wants one
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