"Oh dear, anothing sporting rant by Ramon. Maybe I'll make a cup of tea instead."

"Thirty seven million beers, thanks."

In breaking news allegations are emerging of a drinking session by key Australian players in the lead up to getting an absolute pantsing by the English a humiliating Ashes series defeat at the MCG.

The Age reports

A photo has emerged of the cricketers posing with fans at The World Restaurant and Bar in Southbank, reportedly taken just 12 hours before the Australian team took to the field on the fourth and final day of the Boxing Day Test.

The thrashing saw England retain the Ashes on Australian soil for the first time in 24 years.

It follows allegations by Melbourne-based Englishwoman Emily Goodyear in a British newspaper that the pair drank vodka with her and criticised their "boring" teammates for not going out drinking with them.

I think I speak for every Australian cricket fan when I say “well, durr”

If I was faced with the prospect of being whipped like an egg-sucking dog over five days in the face of several thousand jeering English fans and having the results broadcast around the world, then I would have been on the sauce from ten in the morning.

And I would have insisted on the drinks break being sponsored by Cooper’s Ale.

In related news The Boy has taken to cricket with an absolute mania and insists on discussing the LBW rule with me over dinner.

I’ve either created a monster or the next captain of the Australian team.

Possibly both.