Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I'm an American! I'm an American too!

In today's Age, Catherine Deveny has written a piece about Sarah Palin.

I smirked at this:

"No political party in the world would have had the genius to dream up Sarah Palin. She's a social experiment with lipstick."

I wryly grinned at this:

"The running mates look like an old rich bloke with erectile dysfunction and his white trash trophy wife wearing glasses so she looks intellectual and that."

But I furrowed my brow at this:

"...the rest of the world should be able to vote in the US elections because the outcome affects us as much as them. If not more."

Is that a joke, or is she serious? I know she's a comedy writer and all (a fact she mentions in the article, and I know that she has been responsible in the past for those lame jokes that overseas TV celebrities read from cue cards at The Logies), but in the context of the article, I have a feeling that where there's smoke there's fire, and she, in a way, believes it.

It is true to say that the result of the Presidential election will affect Australia, but so does the result of elections in Georgia, South Africa, the Solomon Islands and Luxembourg.

Too many people attribute too much influence to the US on our daily lives. The US economy, its businesses, its trade, its TV shows and music... all of it permeates into Australian (and global) infrastructures but ultimately, it affects one randomly plucked 15 y.o checkout chick from Nebraska profoundly more than any of 21,000,000 Australians.

It's like that old cartoon with the two Jewish blokes sitting around Berlin in 1938 reading newspapers. One says, "I'm reading the Guardian from England. Oh, it's all terrible news. Us Jews are being rounded up and put into ghettoes and being treated horribly." The other one says, "Well I'm reading the Nazi newspaper and it's all terrific news. It says that us Jews have all the money and dominate the world!"

Many Australians, particularly the loony left (hello Socialiast Alliance!) attribute EVERYTHING to so-called US Imperialism... from wars to education to religion to culture to arts. They cannot perceive that our own Government, our own opposition, the UN, every other Government on Earth, NATO and a zillion other organisations around the world are all a part of the global experience. It's not just America!

If the Americans vote in McCain and thus inherit a moron for a Vice-President who is just a clogged artery away from being President herself, that's about 95% an American burden to carry, and about 5% the rest of the world's.

65 comments:

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Oh God, Catherine Deveny.

I think her television reviews on Saturdays are quite funny but really, she should shut the fuck up when she talks about politics. She knows less about politics than Walt.

What nuffies like Catherine Deveny don't understand is that the US President has less power than, say, the French President.

Congress declares war, Congress passes legislation, Congress votes on the budget, Congress vets all Cabinet appointments.

And at the moment, Congress is controlled by the Democrats.

shitbmxrider said...

Catherine Deveny should have taken notice of that old adage:

"It is best to keep your mouth shut and have people think you are a fool, rather than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Catherine Deveny should have taken notice of that old adage:

"Shut the fuck up, or I'll stab you.

"STAB YOU RIGHT THROUGH YOUR MOTHERFUCKING EYE!!!"

Boogeyman said...

Kudos for not saying "heartbeat away form the presidency" like every other commentator, Perseus.

Unfortunately, that also means I don't get to DRINK!!! after reading that tired old aphorism.

squib said...

"...the rest of the world should be able to vote in the US elections because the outcome affects us as much as them. If not more."

I knew we were the 51st state, I just KNEW it!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Unfortunately, that also means I don't get to DRINK!!! after reading that tired old aphorism.

Never mind Boogey, I know an ace US election drinking game.

Have a drink on election day everytime a commentator says:

"Battleground state"

"American heartland"

"American mid-west"

"Still too close to call"

"Avoid the debacle of the 2000 election"

I guarantee, you'll be pissed until next Tuesday.

Boogeyman said...

Have a drink on election day everytime a commentator says:

...

I guarantee, you'll be pissed until next Tuesday.


Bugger election day, I'll start now, and be completely sloshed for the next 6 weeks, and pleasantly inebriated for the next few months of post-election "How did McCain lose so badly?" analyses.

homesick said...

Election drinking game are old hat Ramon.

Get a partner and choose who is "Blue states" and "Red states".

Every time one is confirmed, that colour must down a glass of his or her fav tipple.
Whomever wins the most states has to perform a sexual act of the winners choice.


OK...well, last U.S election Spouse and I had been separated for some considerable time.

Boogeyman said...

Homesick, you guys must have had a great old time in 2000 waiting for Florida to be confirmed.

wari lasi said...

Having a catch up after our Cairns jaunt. Which was great, thanks for asking.

I'm still trying to work out how that thread headed off into an equine hating frenzy. You're a starnge bunch.

She knows less about politics than Walt.

Walt Disney?

And sbmxr, it was Mark Twain who said that I believe. Does anyone know who first said, "It doesn't matter who you vote for, a politician always wins"

wari lasi said...

strange even. I'm using my transposing keyboard today.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I've always wondered why the left-wing party is blue in the U.S and the right-wing party is red.

Normally, it's the other way around. I got very excited watching the coverage of the 2004 election.

"Yay, yay, look at all those red states. Oh...hang on".

Wari, Walt=eminent Melbourne barrister Walter Jeremy Sear.

Boogeyman said...

Ramon, it dates back to the 2000 election, where Al Gore used blue campaign signs, and George Bush used red signs. So blame those two morons.

And in case anyone's curious, here's a picture showing the breakdown of US state colours, with red representing Jesusland and blue representing Realistan.

wari lasi said...

Thanks Ramon, I should have guessed, Walt has certainly been prominent on this site and its predecessors for a long while now.

One day though, when they work out how and bring him back from chryonic suspension, I'm sure he'll have many animated comments to make about the present state of US Politics.

Boogeyman said...

Wari, you should clarify that you're talking about a different Walt in the second paragraph. I don't think even a personality transfusion from Albert Schweitzer would ever make Walter Jeremy Sear remotely 'animated'.

wari lasi said...

Reading it again boogey, you're right, it's somewhat ambiguous.

To clarify, Walt Disney, an animator and theme park builder of some repute, is one of the few insanely rich people who are being held in chryonic (leave out the h if you like) suspension while we await a way to thaw them out so they can live forever.

wari lasi said...

Jesus, I'm fucked at being witty, I just come across all obscure.

I'll give up now.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Although, Walt Disney and W.J.Sear have a similar level of understanding of Australian politics.

Mr E Discharge said...

There are strong similarities.

Walter Elias Disney was a dead set cunt as well.

Perseus said...

"I'm still trying to work out how that thread headed off into an equine hating frenzy"

Wari, they're all a bunch of big Nancys. "Ew, ew, horses are big and scary...", "Owls are cunning and evil, ew, ew." What's next? Those scary frogs? Those dastardly dragon-like blue tongue lizards? They need to go out, get a chainsaw and man the fuck up.

*sniffs armpits*

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Pfft.

Owls are evil.

patchouligirl said...

If Australians should vote in the US elections, surely New Zealand should be voting in our elections - and any other country who's expats might be effected by a change in our social security or immigration policies.

Stubbadub said...

Preceding the last weekend’s NSW council elections, I walked past a leaflet for the local Social Alliance candidates for about 2 weeks before realizing that one of them was a woman. *snigger*.

And on the subject of pathetic phobias, a friend of mine is terrified of 3 legged dogs. Not because they are dogs and have only 3 legs, but because of the freaky way they walk with 3 legs.

Jamie said...

Catherine Deveny - she's the thinking fuck-knuckle's fuck-knuckle, no?

I remember her writing something a few months ago to the effect that now Leftie Kevvie and his mates had taken charge in Canberra, there was nothing left to fight for. A malaise had descended on her chi chi inner suburban existence.

That's right, Devo. All the problems of the nation and the world have been solved now that Howard chap is looking for digs.

Note to Fairfax's Ron Walker: retrenchment, thy name be Deveny.

Perseus said...

They won't retrench her. The whole suburb of leafy-Ivanhoe will rise up in protest. She's the Fairfax pinup girl, a perfect mix of left-leaning whimsy, snark and total disregard of factual consistency.

You know, at least my girl Marieke knows the difference between whimsy and journalism.

Puss In Boots said...

Stubba, I think I've got your friend beat. I'm petrified of waves. Not the greeting kind, but the water kind. I refuse to swim anywhere there might be waves.

And I'm scared of green beans. They squeak when you eat them, and the sound hurts my brain.

Perseus said...

"And I'm scared of green beans. They squeak when you eat them, and the sound hurts my brain."

Oh sweet jesus.

WitchOne said...

Darling Wari, how was your Cairns jaunt? Dearly beloved does so look forward to meeting you, after all, when I'm talking about you I'm leaving him alone......

The US firmly believes that any and all of their political decisions affect the rest of the world. When it comes to war especially it affects us. The aim is to get them to vote in some sooks that won't drag us into their latest schoolyard pissing contest.

Puss In Boots said...

It's true! They do! It's like the squeak of leather on leather. *shudders* I can't stand it.

Ooh! Ooh! And I'm scared of vacuum cleaner cords. I always think they're going to flick up and hit me.

WitchOne said...

With you on the vacuum cleaner cords Puss, they come back to base so violently, it's unnecessary!

shitbmxrider said...

I hate it when the vaccum cleaner power cord comes back violently for the first bit, but then starts running out of puff...and just slowly drags itself in, before stopping 20cm before its terminus

Desci said...

Puss, that's why you hold it when it gets to the 30 cm mark, and feed it in; lest the Flickening occur.

WitchOne said...

The plug bit hit my ankle once.

Fuck it hurt.

Boogeyman said...

What? No jelly beans, leather-on-leather or vacuum cleaner cords, Puss? BDSM nights at your house must be highjinks galore.

homesick said...

Homesick, you guys must have had a great old time in 2000 waiting for Florida to be confirmed.

Actually no fun at all. We were in fact staying with friends in New Jersey during the 2000 election... we had no idea they were staunch Republicans as were their neighbours. Imagine my poor 'Hammer & Sickle' Spouse having to make polite conversation with these people as they cheered for Bush.

Not much lovin' on that holiday.

Ramon, we too were confused by the red is right blue is left over there.Almost as annoying as them driving on the right hand side of the road.


FTR I can't vote in any general election. I've been away from Australia for too long and you have to be born here on this little island to have a say. Not having the right to vote anywhere in the world makes Homesick cry.

Puss.. HTFU!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

At least Catherine Deveny seems to have half a working brain.

Unlike this woman.

Boogeyman said...

Clem Bastow is defending three blue ribbons in the art, craft and cookery competition at this year's show.

What, she's not also going for "Best in Show"?

Puss In Boots said...

I do now, Desci. But I'm stupid and it took me 3 times of being hit by the cord to realise I should do that.

When did I say I hated jelly beans, Boogey?

Boogeyman said...

Ah, you said green beans. Naturally I assumed you meant the green coloured jelly beans.

Still, without the vacuum cleaner cords and leather-on-leather, jelly beans still lack a certain pizzazz.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Clem Bastow is defending three blue ribbons in the art, craft and cookery competition at this year's show

Well, it is a highlight of her career thus far.

Puss In Boots said...

No dude, I looooove jelly beans. Except those awful popcorn flavoured Jelly Belly ones. Gross.

Cranky Frank said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
squib said...

Jellybeans are disgusting. Those bastards from Dulux gave us a four L tin of them for buying their paint. A FOUR LITRE TIN!!

Even the dyson rolls royce of vacuum cleaners do that ShitBMX. What do you have to do these days to get a vacuum that takes a bit of pride in what it does, and goes that extra 30cm

Perseus said...

Why did Cranky Frank remove his quite amusing comment?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Maybe he's worried about being "outed" by a couple of d-grade fuckwits.

Lord knows, I live in a state of constant terror.

eat my shorts said...

With you on the vacuum cleaner cords Puss, they come back to base so violently, it's unnecessary!

That's my favourite part of doing the vacuuming.

Don't look at me like that. A girl's got to get her thrills somehow.

Perseus said...

Yeah, I can't sleep at night either.

Though that could be the coffee.

Desci said...

Perseus isn't afraid of being outed because people in his real life would find out about his site; he's scared we'll find out that he's in one of Australia's prominent glam rock outfits.

I won't say anymore. But let's just say he's no fat boy, fat boy, and he'll wait till tomorrow.

I've said too much. I should go. It's 12 o'clock and it a wonderful day.

Perseus said...

Your fucking vault's leaking.
(And if you use the word 'glam' in the context of my band again I'll prosecute)

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

"Nick Cave and the Glam Seeds"?

I think you can get Walt's legal services cheap.

Perseus said...

I'd want to win the civil action Ramon.

WitchOne said...

You aren't Boy George are you Pers?

Desci said...

INH: think more 'Men Who Have Fucked Natalie Imbruglia' and 'Straight Lines'.

I've said too much.

Perseus said...

Look, I already came out a while back as Sebastian Noll, and it was Paris Hilton that I fucked.

Boogeyman said...

Perseus, wasn't that Millsy that fucked Paris?

think more 'Men Who Have Fucked Natalie Imbruglia'

Perseus, are you really David Schwimmer?

Perseus said...

wasn't that Millsy that fucked Paris?

How would I know? Like I'd watch Big Brother .

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Men have fucked Natalie Imbruglia?

Really?

Wouldn't that mean, you know, having to talk to her?

Boogeyman said...

Isn't that what the lyrics of Torn were all about?

Stubbadub said...

OMFG Perseus are you in Witchmother! They fucking rock and allow me as a 50 yr old baby boomer who grew up listen to LEd Zep and Sabbath to be RELAVENT and fucking WITH IT and allow me to take drugs with my childrens mates and talk about THE FUCKING GOOD OLD DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you the toolish keyboardist? If so, stand still man!

eat my shorts said...

Men have fucked Natalie Imbruglia?

Really?

Wouldn't that mean, you know, having to talk to her?


Aw, you sure do have some old-fashioned ideas, Ramon.

shitbmxrider said...

if Pers is Daniel *cunting* Johns, ive lost so much respect for you.


Only 1 way it could be worse, if you were Bernard *cunting cunt* Fanning

Perseus said...

I'm that cunt from Jet. Or his brother. I can't remember which. One of them's a bigger cunt than the other one. I'm that one.

Desci said...

No, I joke. I don't know what band he's in. I just know he wants to get free. Wants to get free. Wants to get free, and ride into the sun.

Stubbadub said...

No, I joke. I don't know what band he's in. I just know he wants to get free. Wants to get free. Wants to get free, and ride into the sun.

I think you are onto something Desci, as this would explain Perseus's personality 'quirks'.

Desci said...

Stubba, exactly. This is all I'm saying.