Friday, March 20, 2009

(Comic) Poetry Slam Friday


Warning! Contains strong owl themes!

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,'
O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!'

Pussy said to the Owl, 'You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?'
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose,
His nose,
His nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.

'Dear pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?' Said the Piggy, 'I will.'
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

Well, that’s it for the funny.

Next week I return to my usual themes of horror, death and decay.

Can’t wait!

29 comments:

Perseus said...

Ramon, I bet if your Preston cat started dating an owl, you'd intervene.

Speciesist.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Blood oath, I would.

I'm not having any cat of mine dating some stinking, filthy, owl.

Perseus said...

Idea for animated re-working of two tales combined: Male domestic cat living in Preston falls in love with local owl. Cat's owner forbids her from seeing the owl. Likewise, the owl's keeper, who is felinist, also forbids. The star-cross'd lovers elope to be married by the turkey.

'Romaneo & Juliowl'.

Perseus said...

...cat's owner forbids him.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Romeow and Juliowl

Perseus said...

Yes, that's better. 'Romeow and Juliowl.'

All set in Prestona.

"Do you bite your paw at me sir?"

"I bite my paw sir, but I do not bite my paw at you sir."

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

"What gentle hooting from yon balcony?

Tis Juliowl"

Lewd Bob said...

Are you two done?

squib said...

Oh! I LOVE that poem!! I love it to bits

And Ramon do you know my book prize from the TSFKA reality TV comp is 'The Blind Owl'?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Not even close to being done, Bob.

Squib, I used to recite it to The Boy each night when he was younger.

squib said...

Ramon, was that some kind of therapy?

Lewd Bob said...

Of course this poem should be considered MA for sexual, drug and pagan references.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Squib, I bet you were hanging out for The Costello Memoirs.

Perseus said...

Squib actually emailed me when she won the award to let me know in no uncertain terms that 'The Costello Memoirs' would not be an acceptable prize.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

The Costello Memoirs, one in a series of slow-burning books for long winter nights.

homesick said...

My dear Mother used to recite this to me at bedtime when I was about 8 years old.

On a visit home, she re-enacted this bedtime tradition with her grandaughters.

I was asked to leave when I laughed at the pussy and bong references. Kids didn't get it but one day....

one day they will see the humour.

Hey Ramon, does it sicken you that owls get pussy? You have always claimed they are indeed evil.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

My loathing of owls is a matter of public record, Homesick.

If an owl ever went out with my cat, the date wouldn't last much past dinner.

homesick said...

In my imagination Ramon, your cat now has the face of Claire Danes.


I'd like to see DiCaprio's head turn 350 degrees and eat a field mouse.

How hot.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Homesick, if Claire Danes' facial expressions are limited to "fury" and "hungry fury" - then the resemblance to my cat would be uncanny.

Lewd Bob said...

And if she can pull off "total indifference" then she's a ringer for my cat too.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Remind me why we have cats as pets again, Bob?

Lewd Bob said...

Um...

Mad Cat Lady said...

because they are supreme beings who honour us with their company and allow us to feed and shelter them

eat my shorts said...

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat


Oh, my favourite! For my birthday weekend? You shouldn't have, Ramon.

It's my favourite present so far.

Puss In Boots said...

Speaking of owls, I saw some artwork by Herri met de Bles today, Ramon. I'm sure you're a fan of his work (Wikipedia won't tell you why, but Google will).

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

My pleasure, EMS.

WitchOne said...

I sing this one to the boy and the one from Alica in wonderland, with the oysters and stuff.

Ok, I sing them as I'm reading them and I rarely take in what I can reject out of hand.

Aesophia said...

I have this poem, sung by the Playschool crew of the late 80's, on a record, with many other gems, including the one where the dish ran away with the spoon and the Ning Nang Nong. I loved it and still do :)

And I didn't know we could put birthday requests in! Mine's on the 3rd of August Ramon, I'll remind you closer to the date as well (so you have no excuse to 'forget' ;P).

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Given the blogs I write for tend to have a tendency to go belly-up fair'y sharpish - I'll be mildly gobsmacked if we're still here in early August, Aesophia.