Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Oh no. Sam Worthington, of 'Love My Way' Ozzie soap opera fame has scored the role of PERSEUS in some big Hollywood blockbuster re-make of Clash Of The Titans which I bet will suck shit big-time.

Why re-make what is a fine film in the first place? Oh yes, the effects are dated, but so what? Make another film, cunts, with a different storyline, not the same one again. Do we have to re-make every fucking film that has even been made? There's more myths to choose from you know!

But I digress.

Point is, my internet name is about to become cheap and cartoony. I may as well be called Wolverine or The Hulk.

I picked the name 'Perseus' because I had read the book 'Clash of The Titans' when I was about 10, and I was already heavily into Greek mythology at the time... and then when the movie came out I was very excited (though at the time I did say (for the first of many times in my life), "It wasn't as good as the book."). The story of Perseus intrigued me as a 10-11 year old, particularly the Medusa saga, and my interest in the story has held over the years.

So when I made it on to the internet and had to pick a name, it was one of many I considered (others I considered were 'Jesus69' and Captain Kneejerk), but it won easily.

And so, I ask you all to let me know how you picked your internet name (maybe with the exception of 'Alex'.... unless that's not your real name.)


Lewd Bob said...

Lewd Bob is the name of a particularly disgusting (but quite lovable) rogue who makes recurrent appearances in my ludicrous short stories written under the pseudonym Alan Darn*.

*Not my real pseudonym.

patchouligirl said...

A work colleague nicknamed me patchouligirl years ago when I was an idealistic young thing drifting around in a sarong. I've been using as my online name since the internet was invented so its become sentimental.

One of my all time favorite movies is Flight of the Phoenix - primarily because it didnt have expensive special effects - it relied exclusively on the talent of the actors - and it didn't have any women in it which stopped it from dating as much as it would have. There was no need to remake this movie and the pitiful offering they produced is an insult to the original.

catlick said...

"Catlick!" Not a Protestant!

Oh, they never remake the films I'd like to see them to come a cropper tackling. "The Killing Of Sister George" ...Imagine Robin Williams as George, Lindsay Lohan as Childee, and Merryl Streep as Mercy Bloody Croft. The'd probably make it into a Road movie, or change George from a redundant actor to a merchant banker.

Anonymous said...

"Catlick!" Not a Protestant!

Oh, and here I was thinking Catlick was a euphemism for a certain sex act.

I came up with my nom de plume to describe someone who can dance (which I can't) and someone that scares small children (which I don't).

It was either Boogeyman or Michael Jackson, both of which fit the requirements.

Anyway, you shouldn't complain about the remake. Surely, it would be nigh impossible for them to butcher the original Greek myth worse than than the movie Troy butchered The Iliad.

Oddly, I had never read The Iliad until seeing the movie, even though I knew the story of the siege of Troy. I was inspired to read the book, then upon re-watching the movie, found that it sucked mightily, and the book was, in fact, better than the film.

I've read a lot of classic literature the same way, actually. First the movie, then the book.

I did rather like the mid-90s mini-series of The Odyssey, with the eternally hot Isabella Rossellini as Athena, though.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it was certainly a flash of brilliance when I came up with my name.

I think there's a lot more wrong with the original 'Clash Of The Titans' than dated special effects. I'd say that almost every aspect of it is sub-par. Which is probably why it has such pride of place in my DVD collection - nestled between 'Jason And The Argonauts' and 'The 7th Voyage Of Sinbad'. I'm afraid that I'm just one of those insufferable people who loves watching awful old movies. It does make me wonder though, why modern awful movies don't have the same appeal. It's a shame really. If they did, I'd be spoilt for choice.

shitbmxrider said...

I quite literally am, shit at riding my bmx bike...

And its been that way since I first started using the net, 1997

Perseus said...

Alex - I too have Jason & The Argonauts taking pride of place in my collection (I'm assuming you mean the one from the early 60's). But it doesn't matter how dated the effects are in that film, the bit when Talos the automaton first turns his head is still brilliant. I think it's the sound effects they put on.

Poseidon was a bit fat though. And Hercules was gay (then again, that probably has historical credence).

I banned 'Troy', Boogey, because I heard they left the Gods out of it... which was kind of the whole point of the book. It's like making a film of 'Crime & Punishment' and taking out the crime bit.

I could have called myself 'shitsoupmaker'. I can't make a good soup. I'm doing something wrong.

Perseus said...

And, here it is.

Gay Hercules and a very cool monster. The music is excellent too - same bloke who did Hitchcock's Psycho music.

homesick said...

Homesick.... after almost 20 years overseas I'd like to come home now.

I remember my history teacher in Year 8 took our class to Sydney to see the Harry Hamlin version of "Class Of the Titans". The teacher walked out in disgust at the film's flaws*, so we sat there and ogled a young hot Harry.

* we later found out that he was just gasping for a ciggie,yet he still claims it was factually flawed.

Anonymous said...

I'm assuming you mean the one from the early 60's

I didn't know there were any others.

Hercules was gay

I kind of got the impression that one of the main goals of the film was to show some big, 'manly' men in skimpy outfits. Which is an impression that I've also gotten from every movie that I've seen with the words 'Hercules' or 'Colossus' in the title.

Melba said...

Don't put too many vegetables in Perseus. And don't overcook. I have a bunch of recipes I can give you come the winter.

Melba is an abbreviation of Melbournegirl. Both are pretty nauseating, but the current one a bit less so. I just chose the first one quickly and haphazardly and then I got sick of it. I'm not really a girl. And I can't change it now. It's who I am. On here.

Mad Cat Lady said...

Mine isn't a name - its a vocation.

WitchOne said...

Chardygirl007 was my name in my youth, stuck for a screen name I decided that since I like chardy, am a girl and (clearly) want to be cool, that was a good'un.

Then my ex husband and a freakarse bastard arsehole from notgoodenough kind of made that name a little difficult to bear, what with the stalking and the crap.

So, WitchOne was born, a statement or a question (as in, which girl trying to get down your pants is pissing me off this time? I divorced you already for crying out loud!).

Plus, I really like the idea of casting spells, not enough discipline or self delusion to actually try it though.

As for you Pers my love, that movie is dead to me, I will never watch it, just on principle (unless someone burns it and gives me it to me for free, because that's not like really watching it is it? "They" don't get any money from my viewing so it doesn't count)

wari lasi said...

Wari Lasi means "No worries" or "Don't worry" in Motu, the language of the villages around Moresby and my daughter speaks it.

I love all those old epics, particularly the crap special effects.

And I saw Christine Anu last night. She's a bigger girl than she used to be but still has a great voice. She put on a terrific show. She has another show tonight but exclusively for the staff of the Aussie High Comm. Arseholes.

RandomGit said...

Because I am.

squib said...

I remember being obsessed with Tudor kings and queens as a kid

But that's not where squib came from. A squib is a small and pathetic firework, also a weak and ineffectual person

Perseus said...

We are still awaiting (amongst others) for Mr. E Discharge, Desci, Puss In Boots (who is slumming it in Italy right now), Aesophia, Fad MD, Ramon and "Christian Kerr".

Aesophia said...

Well Mr Impatient Pers, I only just got around to my daily TSFKA readings, so my naming story happens now:

I am a geek. I have read (and continue to read) countless fantasy and sci-fi novels, I play online computer games and dabble in a little D&D and Magic the Gathering when the mood takes me. When I started my first character on World of Warcrack I couldn't for the life of me think of a decent name for myself - and I do appreciate a clever name – and I wanted to put the effort in.

So I read the introductory handbook where there's a section on 'what to name your character' where it went over things like think of your favourite character or author from your sci-fi/fantasy/mythological readings. So I thought well, Tolkien, while he is the great grandfather of fantasy, is way over done (there are any number of Legolas/Legless/Leggolas/Legolass' and Gimli/Gimmli/Gymli/Gimlii’s on any given server at any time) so that's no good. And then I remembered that Aesop is the father of the fable, so that would be pretty cool - except I'm a girl, so... Aesophia.

The end.

AND: In keeping with the original classic mythologies from the 60’s, has anyone seen Hercules Returns ( Hysterical stuff!

Fad MD said...

Apparently when I get drunk I look like Dr Fad (who is asin...I'm not), which was a kids show that was on tv around the time I started getting drunk in earnest.

Dr Fad was a little too obvious for stalkers, but I have an affinity with the nickname that's stuck for 20 odd years, so I just Americanised it.

Anonymous said...

has anyone seen Hercules Returns

I've got that one somewhere too. And if you're into that sort of thing, you might get a chuckle out of some of the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 stuff as well.

Puss In Boots said...

An internet friend from TSSH days gave me my name, if I remember correctly, because I like cats and shoes. Or something like that. I don't quite recall, actually. And although I hate the Shrek movies, I quite like Antonio's version of PIB.

Slumming it in Italy indeed. You should see my hostel room. Blergh. Lucky I have my own sleeping bag and towel.

wari lasi said...

Lucky I have my own sleeping bag and towel.

Do I recall a mention of a silk inner sheet or something like that? You really don't come across as a "slumming it" kind of girl. A friend of mine has a castle (Yep) near Florence, or Firenze, if you're into the lingo.

Melba said...

I remember the silk sheet, you're not imagining it wari. I also thought to myself "this girl doesn't slum it, even when backpacking."

patchouligirl said...

Yes, it was satin sleeping bag liner and disinfectant spray as I recall.

Puss In Boots said...

Silk sheets are perfectly common when backpacking, thank you! They protect the sleeping bag, add extra warmth, and fold up very small. They sell them in travel outfitters, so it's not like I went and had one custom made by Gucci or something. I've met heaps of people with them. Even the ones who don't shower or wash their hair have them. So there! *sticks out tongue*