Monday, March 16, 2009

Mike Sheahan's Top 50

I'm doing this post because

a) Ramon wanted Hanson begone
b) Melba suggested a sports post, and
c) I get to keep on the Herald-Sun's case for a bit longer.

For 20 years now, Mike Sheahan, chief AFL writer for the Herald-Sun, has published at the start of every season a 'Top 50' list... it is the players he thinks will cause the most impact in the coming season (on the field, otherwise surely Ben Cousins would be number one).

Every year, there is debate as to his list.

I shall not add to the debate, other than to say, the debate itself is as meaningless as the Top 50 list is in the first place.

I have two complaints...

1: A Top 5, maybe. But a Top 50?

Yo - all journalists, all movie reviewers, rock journos, bloggers, all people in all the world who compile lists of anything over TEN, listen here: Nobody cares.

I scanned Sheahan's list for Richmond players (Richo and Lids made the list) but otherwise, lost all interest after reading the top 3.

Same goes with any list of 'Top Things'. Top 10 Richest People is interesting, Top 100 is not. Top 10 songs this week is important, Top 100 is not. Footballers are no exception. The Top 2 or 3, that are a class above everyone else (Ablett, case in point), are worth discussion, but really, anyone from positions 6-50 could be interchangeable with each other.

2: But most of all, a Top 50 List of something that hasn't happened yet is ludicrous. The season hasn't started Sheahan! Half your players could be injured by tomorrow afternoon!

May as well get someone to do a Top 50 list of 'Best Movies of 2009 That Haven't Been Finished Yet, But Are In Post-Production'.

*

To the Herald-Sun: Instead of printing articles about things that haven't happened yet (Hanson's campaign being derailed) and lists of things that haven't happened yet, how about, you know, REPORTING SOME NEWS that has actually happened!

PS: Ramon. Before you seek to clarify, the above post relates to the game of AFL football.

PPS: This is Lids... Who, according to Sheahan, is number 41 in a list of players that, er, may be pretty good this year if they don;t get injured and they train hard and stuff.

39 comments:

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Thanks Pers.

You're a mensch.

Melba said...

Happy with Gary at Number 1.

You're an uber-mensch, Perseus. Now we just need a bunch of comments to get Pauline below the page. But nothing can help with the Germaine trauma.

Perseus said...

The list should be:

1. Ablett, G.
2. Franklin, L
3. The rest.

As a Richmond supporter, I would suggest that Nathan Foley is more likely to be upper echelons than Richo and Lids this year.

And why don't these lists ever give enough kudos to backmen? If anyone should go at number 3 it should be Scarlett.

Melba said...

Yessssss. Scarlo. I did enjoy all the horizontal white and navy stripes. And was gleeful over the relative lack of vertical black and white ones.

Lewd Bob said...

Lists! How I love them. Let Sheahan do what he likes. You don't have to read it or the Herald Scum. I certainly don't. I would gladly use it to wipe my arse if 'twas all I had.* Or you could wrap your fish n chips in it. Not that they do that anymore. Shame. You could lay it on the floor while you paint. You could screw it up and use it to clean your windscreen. You could paste it to the inside of your shop windows while you conducted a reno. You could make a hat out of it. Or a ship. Or a plane. Why not try it with gravy. Boil it for 5 minutes, simmer and then run it over with a Suby. While I have the floor, here are my favourite words:

1. Trilby
2. Rissole
3. Bugle.

* I think someone posted something about this recently but it may have been referring to the Good Weekend. Fair call. The Sunday Age mag is even worse.

Perseus said...

Thief, Bob!

'Rissole' is my favourite word! I've been pushing that line for years now, ever since I saw Rowan Atkinson say it in a TV Show. "I have to go home now... to eat some rissoles." (It's funny when he says it)

Rounding out my Top 3 words are:

2. Presumptuous.
3. Splash

I love lists too - not to your level Bob (didn't you have 'Top 10 Italian Movies of the 1940's' on one of your publications?). But lists should not exceed 10.

Three is best. Gold, silver, bronze.

Here's my Top 3 non-musical sounds:

1. Footsteps on damp/wet pebbles.
2. Waves
3. Jet fighter plane overhead.

Top 3 comic/cartoon/TV series super-heroes:

1. Shazam! (aka Captain Marvel)
2. Aquaman
3. Xena

Lewd Bob said...

I like curry. I hope you don't like it too. We can't both like something. Creep.

Favourite meals:
1. Medium spiced vegetable korma with greasy roti and coconut rice.
2. Beijing style pork dumpling & noodle soup.
3. Sushi platter.

Perseus said...

1. Dozen natural oysters.
2. Dozen oysters kilpatrick.
3. Pizza

Boogeyman said...

Top 3 comic/cartoon/TV series super-heroes:

1. Shazam! (aka Captain Marvel)
2. Aquaman
3. Xena


I've lost so much respect for you Perseus.

Aquaman???

Everyone in the Justice League laughs at him behind his back. And with very good reason.

Lewd Bob said...
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Lewd Bob said...
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Lewd Bob said...

Fuck!!!

Perseus said...

Boogey, I once read a theory that a child's favourite superhero represents what he/she is afraid of - the superhero who has conquered the child's fear.

Eg: Kids scared of the dark like Batman the best. Kids scared of heights or spiders like Spiderman. Kids scared of being picked on like Superman.

Then there's kids who are shit swimmers and are scared of drowning (me). Ergo, Aquaman.

I often wondered why as a child I liked such a lame superhero, and when I read that theory it all made sense.

I don't Xena represents though, other than my lust.

Boogeyman said...

I'll bet that theory was made up by someone that liked Aquaman.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

What special powers did Aquaman have?

Perseus said...

He could breathe underwater Ramon, which was enough for me to be in awe.

He could talk to fish and stuff as well.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

He could breathe underwater and talk to fish!?

No offence Pers, but that sounds pretty piss-weak to me.

squib said...
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Boogeyman said...

He could breathe underwater and talk to fish

Let's not forget Aquaman also has a dolphin for a sidekick.

A dolphin.

Perseus said...

Aquaman's uselessness is humorously noted here.

Alex said...

I never liked super heroes as a kid. I did however love super villains. What does your theory have to say about that Perseus?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

A dolphin?

What a cunt.

wari lasi said...

A dolphin?

Did you see the Southpark re run last night? I fell asleep and when I woke up some really fucking weird movie called Scratch was on. That's SBS for you.

And no-one could talk under water better than Marine Boy. Except me of course. I always wanted to get some aqua gum.

And this morning I got stuck at home because my girlfriend's sister was having a baby and "Finding Forrester" was on. Now that's a great flick.

Fad MD said...

I always liked the more obscure superheros. Ironman, Green Lantern.

what does that mean? huh? huh?

Perseus said...

Kids who like...

* Green Lantern are scared of being dumb, or slow, or overweight.

* Ironman are scared of being weak

* Super villains are scared of being goody two-shoe nerds.

I put it to you Fad that you were unfit and large.

Alex, you were a goody two-shoes.

Boogeyman said...

All my favourite super-heroes were awesome.

Does that mean I am afraid of being awesome?

No way, no how, no sir.

Melba said...

I think it means you were afraid of being not-awesome, Boogeyman.

Your theory is confusing Perseus. Like too many double negatives in a sentence.

I liked the Bionic Woman. Does she count?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I liked the Bionic Woman

The original 1970s one, Melba, or the awful one on our screens (briefly) last year?

Boogeyman said...

Are you suggesting the original 70s version was non-awful, Ramon?

The Bionic Man was awesome, though.

I thought Melba was a fan of Wonder Woman.

Lewd Bob said...

Clearly Catwoman or Batgirl are the best. Cos, you know, they're just, um, smart and, er, just generally ace.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...
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Ramon Insertnamehere said...

The latest Batgirl is gay.

Apparently.

Mad Cat Lady said...

wot?! Nobody is going to pick Danger Mouse? Danger Mouse was awesome. Also I think Felix the Cat should qualify as a superhero.

Melba said...

1. Ramon. Do I even have to specify? The '70s one, but of course.

2. I also like Wonder Woman, but I thought it would be somewhat obvious to mention her. Considering I AM her.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I do have a fondness for Count Duckula.

He won't bite beast or man,
'Cause he's a vegetarian

Fad MD said...

I put it to you Fad that you were unfit and large.

Not even close

eat my shorts said...

wot?! Nobody is going to pick Danger Mouse? Danger Mouse was awesome. Also I think Felix the Cat should qualify as a superhero.

You forgot to mention Super Ted and Banana Man.

Alex said...

Alex, you were a goody two-shoes.

That's true, actually. Still am.

Green Lantern are scared of being dumb, or slow, or overweight.

Huh? How does Green Lantern represent intelligence, speed and um, thinness? The guy had a ring that shot out anything he could imagine. If anything, that would represent a fear of being uncreative, wouldn't it? Or a fear of not having nice jewellery.

Lewd Bob said...

You forgot to mention Super Ted and Banana Man.

Not to mention Roger Ramjet.

He's our man.