I purchased a new car. I've never owned a new car, only ever used ones. I didn't even really want a new car, my existing one is fine. I have a 1999 Subaru Liberty Wagon (puchased in 2002) and in the seven years I've owned it, I've serviced it once a year, bought some new tyres, and I think I checked the oil level once. I'm not a car person. I drive cars until they break down, but this one has never broken down and purrs like a kitten. I mentioned to a mate last year that if I ever bought a new car it would be another Liberty. He mentioned this to a mate of his who worked at Subaru, and the stalking started. Months later, they made me an offer I couldn't refuse (end of financial year runout, plus economic recession, plus mates' rates, plus turning 40 this year and wanting some retail therapy equals buying a new car).
The negotiations took place on the phone and on email over the course of a few months, but Saturday was the signing of the contracts (the car won't be delivered until July).
I was to meet the salesguy at 10am, and I figured it would take me five minutes. Oh no. Oh no. TWO HOURS. All I wanted to do was sign, but no, we had to have coffee, we had to talk, small talk, car talk, he had to run me through the features, I had to watch a video, I had to meet other people, meet the boss, meet the receptionist, if his mother was there I would have had to meet her too, and they had to teach me about car care and Subaru technology and they even offered me a test-drive of a test-car and were confused as to why I said no.
Some of the conversations were meaningless.
Salesguy: Mate, I've thrown in a free sunroof for you.
Me: Oh, no thanks. I had one on a Mazda years ago and never used it.
Salesguy: But it's a free sunroof!
Me: I had a cancer ripped out of my face last year. I don't want the sun on me, and in the winter, I don't want the wind on me.
Salesguy: Well, you don't have to open it.
Me: Just give me one without a sunroof. It'll save you money.
Salesguy: Oh, not really. See the car we've allocated for you has a sunroof.
Me: So I'm getting it anyway? If I want a car without a sunroof, it will cost me more?
Then, after I signed, he congratulated me! Like, we stood up, he beamed, and patted me on the arm and offered his hand as if I had just been made the President. It's a fucking car! And then some very hot chick came to congratulate me as well, and said, "You have a NEW CAR!" and it sounded like I was on some game show and I was waiting for balloons to drop. She said, "Are you excited?" and I said, "No, I'm in debt, and all I have is a slightly cleaner version of what I already drive. I'm not excited at all. I'm 40." She hated me.
This car better be good.
(PS: They were nice people, and I don't want to come across as hating them personally - just the process bugged me. I'm not a car person.)
Visited a childhood friend who has just had her third baby, and I was meeting the baby (4 months old). She handed it to me, and left it with me for like an hour. The first five minutes I was thinking, "God, how long do I have to hold this chimp?" and the next 55 minutes I was thinking, "Wow this kid is cute. Look at him, he's smiling and sucking on my buttons! I want one! I want one!"
Oh I'm clucky. I pity my next girlfriend.
Which brings me to...
Coffee date with a girl from RSVP.com, to be called E-bird. I reckon I read through 300 profiles, and E-bird was my favourite and so she was the only one I initially contacted and corresponded with, but I subsequently made contact with a standby (Em79 - plucked from Melba's researched list) and we will also be meeting for a coffee next week.
But I was very excited about meeting E-bird. We only had an hour, I was nervous, she was nervous, and here's the rundown.
* She's very smart.
* She's well-travelled.
* She's attractive.
* She's very witty.
* She's an ex-smoker (which is good for me - I rarely take advice about smoking from never-smokeders)
* She has a very good job
* She plays netball (I like sporty people)
* She's originally from Adelaide, so she's potentially a serial-killer.
* I think she was taller than me, and I'm 6 foot exactly. She was maybe the same height. Is that a problem? No. Yes. No. Tom Cruise didn't seem to mind. Did Nicole Kidman?
* I think she saw me as a scrawny pale 40 year old that lived in the bush and she'll have little more to do with me.
I'm going to ask for a second date, this with time with added alcohol, and I shall keep you all updated.