Friday, May 1, 2009

A poem I could have written (but didn't).

When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

When money's tight and hard to get

And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

When health is bad and your heart feels strange,

And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say you need a change,
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

When food is scarce and your larder bare

And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

In time of trouble and lousey strife,

You have still got a darlint plan
You still can turn to a brighter life -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

By-the-by, today is May Day, the international day of the labour movement.

I might have a beer later to celebrate.

It’s also the first day of Spring in the northern hemisphere, but fuck that.

I hate Spring.

16 comments:

Lewd Bob said...

If only ad men were into poetry. I can see the latest Coopers commercial using this.

Perseus said...

The VB ad ('workin' a plough' etc) is better poetry than anything Ginsberg came out with.

"Pectoral muscles as big as vagina" - oh, shut up.

Mr E Discharge said...

It’s also the first day off Spring in the northern hemisphere, but fuck that.
Actually, that's tomorrow. It's the 30th here in Sunny San Francisco.

Just sayin'.

Lewd Bob said...

Or how about this gem from the late 70s/early 80s:

Carlton Light's got the flavour that satisfies me
It's got the taste that's just right
So if you're in the dark about which one to choose
Why don't you turn on the light
That beautiful cold Carlton Light
Just walk up to the man and say "I'll have a can
of that beautiful cold Carlton light
That beautiful cold Carlton Light."

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

All this is making me thirsty.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You know, it's coming up to the first anniversary of TSFKA.

I might write something rooly, rooly special.

Boogeyman said...

All this is making me thirsty.

The pretzels or the poetry?


You know, it's coming up to the first anniversary of TSFKA.

The site's survived that long?

Amazing.

I noticed its owner scarpered off early in the piece, much like the owner of the last site. Where is Stubbadub these days?

Melba said...

This rhythm in this poem reminds me of Windy Nights, from the Child's Garden of Verse by RL Stevenson. I loved that book.

Windy Nights

Whenever the moon and stars are set,
Whenever the wind is high,
All night long in the dark and wet,
A man goes riding by.
Late in the night when the fires are out,
Why does he gallop and gallop about?

Whenever the trees are crying aloud,
And ships are tossed at sea,
By, on the highway, low and loud,
By at the gallop goes he.
By at the gallop he goes, and then
By he comes back at the gallop again.

I like Windy Nights better, but admittedly there is no beer in it.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Boogey, last I heard Stubb was living in an underground shelter in an undisclosed location, with a three years supply of tin-foil hats.

Melba - what good is a poem without beer?

Melba said...

None of my favourite poems have beer in them.

Wonder what the weather is in PNG? And what's happening at the yacht club this weekend?

wari lasi said...

The weather is beautiful today Melba. 30 degrees, lke it is every day, even when it's raining. But I'm about to sit in 8D and fly to Brisvegas for the weekend.

Joker Draw at the yachtie is up to K140,000 (about $70,000) 12 cards left.

patchouligirl said...

My economic stimulus arrived this week - we're doing our patriotic duty and going tv shopping tommorrow! Woohoo! Thanks Kev.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

The Mrs got her Rudd dollars this morning, but for me - nuthin!

Kev, Kev, I bought the "Kevin07" tee-shirt and everything.

Why hast thou forsaken me?

patchouligirl said...

42 inches of viewing pleasure here I come.

eat my shorts said...

I got mine this week as well and I was too busy paying bills to notice it.

It's pretty and all, but I have to admit that free money makes me nervous.

Melba said...

I haven't gotten mine yet. I'm thinking of a return ticket to LA. Friend of mine flies with Qantas and I can stay with him in his hotel etc and basically freeload (inc business upgrade). How can I turn down this opportunity? Kids aren't happy, nor husband. I was going to try and sneak away for a week in the next couple of months. And because we have kids we'll get more money. Let that go on the credit cards...