Monday, October 12, 2009

All's Well That Ends

Get this:

On Saturday afternoon, Suicide Girl and I headed to the birthday picnic of my good friend Spud (who is the little sister of Artemis). It was a nice picnic in Edinburgh Gardens (though the state of the men's toilets was a disgrace... on yer bikes, council) with nice food and good company. Normally, Spud has rather big birthday parties with 50-100 people in attendance and I thought it was going to be one of those affairs, but no, it turns out that this picnic was just for her inner sanctum and there was in fact only 14 of us. This gave me a good chance to see how Suicide Girl mingled, close-up and soberly, with my mates.

She did well! We were at the picnic from 2pm-6pm and she talked with everyone and I was thinking, "This is good, she can mingle!"

We then went back to Spud's flat for more drinks and food by which time we were all getting a bit drunken. Suicide Girl not only continued to mingle well, but actually made an appointment to have lunch with one friend of mine, and talked to others about catching up at my house for a weekend of fun. I was very, very impressed.

Then, six of us headed off to see Melt-Banana at The Forum. In the taxi there, now quite shickered, she even discussed with me the possibility of her and her Mum and two younger siblings spending Christmas day with my family and I was open to this.

All was travelling smoothly.

But what's a Monday on TSFKA without some sort of drama arising from the pathetic choices I make in my life?

The first sign of trouble came in the queue to get in. Doofus appeared and stood with us. You may recall, Doofus is the guy that spewed on Suicide Girl a month ago after she took him home during a brain-fade. This made her very tense. In my life, I have found that when normal, well-adjusted people get tense over something, they do what has to be done to recover, but, maladjusted and unhinged people with a bellyful of 'issues' can't do that. They let situations take control.

I didn't know it yet, but Suicide Girl had lost it.

But before I get to that, here's an aside...

I spent the first half hour of the Melt-Banana gig looking for Mr. E Discharge (who I discovered the next day was unable to make it due to a family medical emergency - yo, Mr. E, I hope all is okay). I texted Mr. E and told him to meet me next to the stage right bar, back section, near the first booth (where the rest of my gang were sitting), and I stood there waiting.

Whilst standing there, an incredibly hot and beautiful woman approached me. She leaned up close and said, "You're Perseus, aren't you?" and mind you, she said 'Perseus' and not my actual name.

I didn't recognise her. "Who is this?" I thought, "Pepsi?"

I asked her, but the band had started and it was very loud. She told me her real name, and said she had recognised me from my blog. I figured she meant this blog, I figured further that she had read my entries over the last two weeks and I figured she was on the look out. So, I figured I'd point out the characters. "That's Suicide Girl there," I said, pointing to our booth, "And that's Artemis," I said, pointing. The girl looked at me confused. She had no idea what I was talking about, so I got confused too. It seems she was not a TSFKA person, but just, somehow, recognised me, maybe from my book blog. She told me her internet name but I was all a bit freaked and I can't remember it now, but it had two words, and it was some sort of description, like 'Didactic Explosion' (but not that).

I sat back with my friends. Me and Hippy Mate decided to go into the moshpit for a few songs. On my way back out of the moshpit, I bumped into the hot chick again. Jeez she was hot. And seemingly alone. So I said to her, "We're going to Cherry Bar after this," and she said, "I can't. I'm going to The Carlton Club," and that was it.

Whoever she was, that was the last I saw of her, and who knows, she might be an enemy, but even so, wouldn't mind knowing thine enemy, so if you're reading, umm, hi.

End of aside.

The gig itself was awesome. As soon as it finished, Suicide Girl and I bid goodbye to the other four, and we headed to Leggy's birthday drinks at Cherry Bar. That's when the night went sour.

We got in there and Suicide Girl refused to mingle with anyone, including her good friend Fanboy (Leggy's boyfriend, and the one who set us up). She refused to talk to me. She started flirting with men, and if I went near her she shunned me, and started getting physical with whichever man was closest. I didn't know what I had done, so I confronted her, and she said (in a drunken drawl), "This place is so fucking boring unless I'm on the prowl,,, I only like coming here with my girlfriends," so I said, "Well, we can go home if you like," and she said, "No, I just don't want you here... I don't want to be responsible for anyone," and I said, "Okay," and I left the Cherry Bar, and that, dear readers is the last time I will speak to her.

You see, I spent six years with Andromeda 3.0 and I learnt a lot about the unhinged. Put alcohol in them, their issues arise, and they take it out on whoever is closest and nothing can stop them except years of therapy. I am wise. So wise in fact, that I knew exactly how this would play out... I would get grovelling messages the next day.

They started at 6am.... seven missed calls from an unknown number. When I checked the messages they were drunken, howling messes. She was saying, "I got robbed, I lost everything including my phone so I'm calling on my flatmate's phone... I'm so sorry, I fucked up, I can't believe I did what I did, I am soooooo sorry, call me, please call me, I love you..." and so on and so on.

During the course of Sunday she called eight more times, on two other phones, plus SMSs, all of them grovelling apologies, but six years of putting up with this sort of pattern from Andromeda 3.0 has hardened me. She can get fucked.

It is one thing for issues to arise. It is another to take one's insecurities or turmoil out on the very people who can assist you with these things. There's no excuse for it.

So, here I am, back to square one, but I feel, in a way, proud of myself. I am not a whipping boy. I saw the danger, I avoided it, and I am safe and secure again.

The greatet adventures are those that end safely at home.

215 comments:

1 – 200 of 215   Newer›   Newest»
Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Pers. old son, you made the right decision.

She's a nutter.

And why, oh why, do hot blogging chicks never approach me?

Perseus said...

I keep looking for you Ramon, but my knowledge of your looks is based solely on your avatar. As such, I am continually approaching Orthodox Priests and Russian drug dealers.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Did you get any drugs?

Perseus said...

No. I've already had four drug nights this year. That'll do for a while.

Perseus said...

...besides, I don't speak Russian.

Cath said...

Bravo to you for such a quick resolution to this. It could have gone on and on and become quite an epic of fun stories for us to enjoy, but you to endure. Well done! At least you do learn from mistakes.

So was Melt Banana all you had hoped for?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You do realise that SG now knows where you live, don't you?

Maybe you should re-think your "open house' policy for the next couple of weeks.

The Red Setter said...

That's a very unsatisfactory end to the whole thing, at least from a reader's point of view. I want you to compromise your own peace of mind and possibly safety and keep having SG around just so you can blog about it!

Seriously, though - I think you were a bit harsh on SG. Everyone has their foibles.

Is there any one thing that SG could do or say that would redeem her in your eyes, or at least cause you to give her a second chance? If so, what is it?

And no, I'm not SG sneakily trying to get back in your good books.

Or am I?*


*Note: I am not.

kitten said...

Maybe it's you? If you are going to wander off and chat to strange women and invite them out to bars with you even though you were with your girlfriend, perhaps she thought she was allowed to do the same?

Personally, I think I would be under the same misunderstanding. Although if my boyfriend tried to pick up other women while in front of me while out on a date, I'd probably be much less passive aggressive and just plain aggressive.

Leilani said...

Good call Perseus. I look forward to a post all about the mysterious hot blogger. Or at least some forum flirtation between you.

Perseus said...

Red, I was not harsh at all. She was harsh. It's hard to describe, but at Cherry, she was agressive and frightening. She could not be approached. She was disturbingly unhinged and volatile, and I have experience with these situations. And, it was the second time she had turned on me (see 'Weekend Wrap' from a few weeks ago). Two brain-fades out of five nights... not a good start. I won't tolerate it. Any idea how humiliating it is to have to leave a party because you're so-called 'partner' will cause a scene if you stay? I cut a lonesome, sorrowful figure on the streets of Melbourne at 2am.

There is nothing she can do or say now. I have loss trust in her. I could never be around her if alcohol is present... I'd be walking on egg-shells the whole time.

Cath - Yes, I have thought of that (my open door), but hopefully her fear of driving will prevent her from coming down here.

Mad Cat Lady said...

fully concur with your decision - SG is seeming addicted to drama



does she have blog?

Perseus said...

Get fucked Kitten... I spoke with hot blogger chick for about twenty seconds and didn't touch her, and didn't for a moment consider flirting until the next day after the SG disaster. I invited her to Cherry because she seemed to be alone at Melt-Banana and I thought maybe she was friends with someone here at TSFKA.

As I said above, it is hard to describe how SG was at Cherry, but she was not right. She was highly volatile, and frightening. Abnormally so. It was not me or anything I did. She just flipped over things from her past, and took it out on me, something she has since conceded in her many messages and apologised profusely for.

Apparently, after I left Cherry, she hooked up with some man within seconds... maybe that's who robbed her. Don't know, don't care. She's a psycho bitch and she can get fucked.

kitten said...

I think she is just 24. Sounds like many of you have forgotten what its like to be 24. Its all drama at that age. I know, I remember.....

I

squib said...

Good call, Persey. I am kind of relieved that's over

I wonder who the mysterious hot chick is

Perseus said...

I would never treat a date/partner like that at age 14, 24, 34, or 44.

She kicked me out of my own friend's party so she could fuck a stranger.

Is that what you were like when you were 24, Kitten?

Mad Cat Lady said...

Kitten: what is wrong with inviting somebody who reads your blog to the next bar everybody is going to?

Most people would want to at least chat a little if somebody has gone to the trouble of saying hello - regardless of levels of hotness. It's a friendly thing to do.

kitten said...

I was going to say before my post rudely cut out on me, that maybe next time date someone who is older and a bit more mature.

Although in my experience, most men usually like the high maintenance, princess, high strung, crazy types.

Perseus said...

...and Kitten, I didn't 'wander off'. I was standing two metres from SG when hot blogger chick approached, waiting for Mr. E Discharge to appear.

Gee I dislike you.

Perseus said...

"Although in my experience, most men usually like the high maintenance, princess, high strung, crazy types."


Like you?

kitten said...

I dont know Mad Cat, but next time you are out with your husband/boyfriend and he starts up a conversation with a really hot chick who is a total stranger, then invites her out with you guys, you tell me?

See normally when strange men strike up conversations with me, then invite me out with them, I construe that as a pick up. I would suggest that any woman who might perhaps be watching her boyfriend do that, would possibly think the same, and might be upset about it. Just saying.

Perseus said...

Jesus, I would hate to be your husband Kitten. I would be too scared to talk to any female at all.

Try to understand... me talking to to hot blogger chick had NOTHING to do with SG's flipout.

And MCL is right... I invited her out of a sense of friendliness, not with an eye to pick her up because I was looking forward to a great night out with my date, and all the awesome sex we were going to have after we left Cherry. I did NOT have anyhting on my mind with hot blogger chick other than having a chinwag about TSFKA or TSSH or wherever she was from.

Mad Cat Lady said...

well heck - the only time i have approached blog i read, who was with partner, they were delighted.
:(

i am going to go do sit-ups now

Mad Cat Lady said...

... and please read 'blog' as 'blogger', darnit

Leilani said...

Surely Kitten you can't use her age as an excuse? Twenty-four is old enough to display common sense and manners. Paranoia and insecurity can hang around forever/

Perseus said...

And know this, Kitten... if you were obese and ugly, which you may well be, and it was you who approached me at Melt-Banana, I would have invited you to Cherry as well. If anyone from TSFKA approached me I would offer the same courtesy, hot chick or not.

shitbmxrider said...

Thats a shame it all went shit-shaped Pers...

Methinks she has a problem with the demon drink and needs to get that under control before she will make any progress...

Im gunna be eyeing everyone rather suspiciously at cherry, wondering which one of them is SG....

Perseus said...

...look for heavy tattooing on one upper-arm BMX, and a pirate ship tattoo on the opposing wrist. If you see her, don't mention this blog, and further, don't be nice.

kitten said...

I am not saying that you intended to pick her up Perseus, I am saying that it might have looked that way, and thus in her head she created a scenario based on insecurity, and that leads to drama.

After all, she was hot, you had to be standing very close to her to hear what she was saying over the noise of the band, and that it might have looked quite suss to an observer.

The older you are the more rational you become about these things, but when you are young you tend to over-react.

shitbmxrider said...

I wont mention this blog at all...

Ill just tell my woman friend not to pash on with her, shes a bit loopy

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

look for heavy tattooing on one upper-arm

That describes 90 per cent of Melbourne 24-year olds.

But rest assured, I would spurn her as I would spurn a rapid dog.

Kitten - how do you explain SG's previous alcohol fuelled lapses?

Cath said...

Over-react yes... perhaps, but get completely unhinged and tell your "boyfriend" to basically bugger off? That is not age specific. She is a nutter - as was pointed out by Ramon. And, Pers would invite anyone along who was wandering alone to join him. He is nice like that.

Perseus said...

Kitten, please listen: My 20 second chat with blooger girl had NOTHING to do with her flipout.

Piecing together her drunken messages, it had something do with her childhood, her ex-boyfriend, the arrival of Doofus, and Cherry Bar. Four things collided in her brain and she took it out on me, NONE OF WHICH had anything to do with anything I said or did on the night, or ever. Stop trying to put some blame on me. SG is not trying to put any blame on me, so you should not either. She has not mentioned blogger chick AT ALL.

The blogger chick story was an aside, and has nothing to do with what happened.

catlick said...

Awesome resolution, with some Kitten-whack on the side. If someone does you the courtesy of revealing their true self, it is just good manners to believe them.

Puss In Boots said...

Kitten, I for one am offended you think all 24 year olds act like SG. I'm not 24, but I know for a fact I was nothing like her at that age. Maybe at 17 at the latest. Certainly not at 24. 24 is definitely old enough to know better. Jeebus, even 20 is.

Also, if you think every guy who talks to you and invites you to a pub/club with his friends is picking you up, then you have some serious narcissistic tendencies. What if he just wanted to be friends with you? What if he found your conversation interesting? It doens't mean he was trying to pick you up. I've met heaps of my male friends in such ways. It's how you become friends with people. And yes, I even met some of those male friends while I was out with my partner. He has done the same with his female friends. It's really not an issue.

SG's behaviour does not seem to correspond at all with Perseus' behaviour. I thought from the very first post you should have run, Pers, so I'm glad you finally are. She sounds like an explosion waiting to happen.

You could give her another chance if you really wanted to, but I think you would regret it if you did. If anything, she sounds the type to try to get back with you just so she could take revenge by pissing in your wardrobe or something.

kitten said...

Okay, I take it back then.

On to the next big mystery, who is your blogging stalker? I don't think I'd recognise you if I ran into you somewhere unexpected, but would perhaps recognise you if I were looking for you. So I think she did know you would be there, and does read this blog. Maybe it was Puss sussing out her potential marriage mate?

Leilani said...

Pissing in his wardrobe! I haven't heard of that one before - but I love the idea.

Puss In Boots said...

Clearly, I meant "doesn't", not "doens't".

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

pissing in your wardrobe

You speak from personal experience, Puss?

Puss In Boots said...

I live in Brisbane, Kitten. And I was at home studying on the weekend, and not anywhere near Melbourne. Also, I'm not as hot as the chick Pers describes.

Perseus said...

Thank you Puss and Cath and MCL, but may I emphasise, again, my talking to blogger girl is not related to what happened to SG.

Puss - I had already given her a second chance after the first indiscretion. It's the third chance she will not get.

shitbmxrider said...

That describes 90 per cent of Melbourne 24-year olds.

True, Ramon, but the pirate ship on the wrist detail sets her apart...

kitten said...

Men that want to "just be friends" with really hot chicks? That's funny! Hands up guys how many of you just want to be friends with really hot women you meet in bars? (and by that I mean that you have not one iota of a sexual attraction to them)

Perseus said...

My hand is up.

Being sexually attracted to them as well is irrelevant. I have a lot of very hot female friends, and that is what they are: friends.

You're a cavewoman, kitten.

Puss In Boots said...

Ha! No, not personal experience. I have neither pissed in someone's wardrobe, nor had someone piss in mine. However, I did have a friend who dated a psycho chick, and after he dumped her she asked for another chance. He thought it would be good to see her again if only to get a root (against my advices). He invited her over, went out to pick up takeaway, came back to find her gone. Thought nothing of it until the next day when he went to get dressed for work and found puddles in his shoes, and piss halfway up his business shirts. I'd like to know how she aimed it that high up!

Leilani said...

I am just dying to make inappropriate cavewoman gags.

Puss In Boots said...

Does that mean women can't have male friends they're somewhat attracted to, Kitten? Surely there is always some level of attraction between friends, or you wouldn't be friends with them, right? Why would you be friends with someone who repulsed you?

Leilani said...

Puss, that is seriously hilarious. I love stories of people being creative with wee to get revenge.

Creamy Goodness said...

Pers, from the opening paragraphs of the first post, this story has been eerily familiar. Same irrational outbursts, same outrageous swings in mood, same propensity to over-indulge in the drink.

I dated a lady a few years ago who demonstrated each of the same characteristics as SG - even down to the incredible sex and being wonderfully charming and witty when sober.

I did try over and over - continually buoyed by the person she was "normally" - only to discover in time that the violent eruptions were as much a part of the totality of her "normal" persona as were any of her endearing qualities.

So from a worried onlooker, I'm very glad for you that you've reached this conclusion. Nothing you could have done would have helped and nothing is likely to change.

And the part about being all over any fellow patron with a penis is a tale I could have quoted word-for-word from said episode in my life.

Consider yourself much better off.

squib said...

I'd like to know how she aimed it that high up!

There's a thing you can get for pissing like a man, for camping and music festivals etc

I forget what it's called

Lewd Bob said...

Although in my experience, most men usually like the high maintenance, princess, high strung, crazy types.

Jesus Christ Kitten, you must be fucking joking.

Lewd Bob said...

And by the way Perseus, the hot blogger chick was me. Yes, that's right.

kitten said...

Its the whole "When Harry met Sally" argument. That men cant be friends with women they want to sleep with. They will always take the opportunity to have sex with them if it arises. I subscribe to that theory. Almost every one of my male friends have tried in on at some point in the "friendship".
If you want to have sex with someone its not really platonic, just an unfulfilled sexual desire.

This is always subjective though - attractive women have this problem, unattractive ones don't.
You might call it "caveman" but thats the reality of life (and yes, my life).

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

There's a thing you can get for pissing like a man

It's called a "penis", Squib.

Cath said...

I am so happy to have a blogger named "Creamy Goodness" commenting on here.....

kitten said...

Lewd Bob - I really really wish I was joking. Unfortunately I know some great guys who I would be happy to date, who seem to prefer dating neurotic psychotic women. I don't know why, perhaps all the drama makes them feel special, or that they can "rescue" or take care of the damsel in distress.

Puss In Boots said...

Almost every one of my male friends have tried in on at some point in the "friendship".

Dear god. You do have some tickets on yourself, don't you Kitten?

Leilani said...

Where can you purchase these "penises" you speak of?

Kitten you are just trying too hard to be provocative now.

squib said...

Where can you purchase these "penises" you speak of?

Here

Leilani said...

Squib they are revolting! I think I'd rather squat in the bushes.

kitten said...

Its not having "tickets on myself". Its what has happened in my life. So sorry if that offends you!

And that's just male friends. There's also the guy who wouldnt hire me for a job because he thought he wouldnt be able to resist "temptation" and that his wife wouldnt like me working with him (and I know this because a mutual friend told me that's why he didnt give me the job).

Cath said...

Dear God Squib!!!! I have waited my whole life for one of those.

No really.

Lewd Bob said...

Good Lord, squib. Well I never!

notcatlick said...

....I know some great guys who I would be happy to date, who seem to prefer dating neurotic psychotic women. And the problem is?

kitten said...

Or the several times I've been locked in a room with a boss who's then made a move on me. Every job I've had bar one, I've been hit on by male colleagues (most of them married).

It must be nice to be ugly and not have these problems.

Puss In Boots said...

There's also the guy who wouldnt hire me for a job because he thought he wouldnt be able to resist "temptation" and that his wife wouldnt like me working with him

Wow. Just... wow. I can't believe anyone would think they are so hot that another person couldn't resist "temptation." I mean, I knew there were people out there who thought themselves not unattractive (I am one of them), but to actually think anyone who talks to you must be coming on to you because you're so outstandingly hot? Wow.

Pers, how hot was this girl at the show? If she was supernova hot, maybe it was Kitten. Although if she had any flaws at all, it couldn't possibly have been.

Leilani said...

Shewee, the name's a bit crap isn't it.

Kitten, you don't even make sense. On one hand all your male friends are trying it on and you can't even get hired because you'd be a dangerous temptation in the workplace.

On the other hand you know some really nice guys who you'd like to date but they only want high maintenance princesses. Aren't they trying to sleep with you?

Perseus said...

UPDATE: She's sending me emails, promising to 'quit drinking and get some professional help'.

I have not and will not respond.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

The Shewee makes me really, really glad I have a dick.

Perseus said...

Puss - she was standing by herself, so it may have been Kitten, because I can't imagine how she could possibly have any friends.

kitten said...

Puss, they were his words as spoken to my friend. Not mine. I am simply repeating the conversation. Why is it so hard to understand that many women suffer sexual harrassment both in their private and work life.

I have many more stories. Like the time I was raped by a project partner at University, having thought he was just a "friend" and made the mistake of staying over one night after a study session.

Just because men are not constantly hitting on you, doesnt mean that it doesnt happen to other women.

Cath said...

I wish I was half as sexy as Kitten. Now I know why my life seems to have no meaning.

Perseus said...

I'm sorry to hear you were raped, Kitten. Nobody deserves that.

But that's a whole other topic. Rapists are not part of what we're discussing.

kitten said...

I resent being told that the constant harrassment i have suffered since I was 14 years old is a figment of my imagination, and that I am nothing more than a narcissist with an inflated ego.

When you have been sexually harrassed and assaulted at practically every job you've had, and by so-called "friends" then feel free to comment. But don't dismiss others experiences simply because it hasn't happened to you. You should think yourself lucky and be grateful that it doesnt happen to you.

PS. It wasnt me at the club

notcatlick said...

It must be nice to be ugly and not have these problems. You are in complete control of your appearance. If you feel it attracts overwhelmingly negative attention and consequences change it. If this is rhetoric, it reflects an inner ugliness that will have problems.

Puss In Boots said...

Kitten, I do get hit on by men. I just don't have such an inflated ego as to think that everyone I talk to is trying to hit on me.

Besides which, ugly people get sexually harassed too. Just because you are being sexually harassed doesn't mean it's because you are so unbelievably good looking. Maybe you just have the misfortune of constantly coming across the sorts of men who are predispositioned to that sort of behaviour.

Commiserations for the rape. Believe it or not, I do know where you are coming from with that one. And perhaps that explains why you think everyone is coming on to you. After such a traumatic event, people tend to try to deal with it in their own way. Perhaps you feel blaming your looks is the only way you can deal with what happened to you.

Lewd Bob said...

So, how about AFL trade week then?

kitten said...

I dont think "everyone" is trying to come on to me. But men that I know well eventually do. The guy that wouldnt hire me was someone I had been working with for several years - he set up a new division but didnt want me reporting directly to him or working with him on a daily basis, because he was attracted to me. Male friends that I have trusted have invariably turned out to want more. This is not because I dress like a hooker and look "up for it", its because I am a nice, friendly, and attractive person (despite my online alter ego :-)

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'm not too sure what point you're trying to make, Kitten.

All the men you know hit on you - therefore all men hit on all women?

There's a logical fault line in that you could drive a truck through.

Leilani said...

No Ramon she said they only hit on attractive women. The ugly ones are safe from all the unwanted attention.

kitten said...

Yes, that was my point. That a casual observer might have assumed that Perseus was attempting to chat up his stalker because she was a very attractive woman. But since he said he wasn't, and it wasn't a factor in the SG dummy spit, we have agreed it is a mute point.

Such an assumption might have arisen because, as in my experience (and just mine, not everyone's) men don't usually strike up conversations in bars with the express intent of making a new "friend".

But I defer to all the men here who apparently often approach strange women looking to find a new best mate and not a sexual partner.

WitchOne said...

FFS Kitten! I used to get hit on most of the time but at least I know why! I flirt, with everyone, I'll flirt with the neighbours cat. It's what I do. I am not overwhelmingly attractive and I have learned how to modify my behaviour so I don't get everything in pants hitting on me (just the ones that don't listen to my conversation, kids and finacees, most unsexy). Maybe, just maybe, you need to look at how you behave?

I used to think you were just misunderstood, now I think you're a fuckwit.

Pers. Bravo my darling!!!! Well handled, now, change your house locks and get yourself a guard dog, if you get a chocolate lab you may be able to pass it off as a service dog as well (not speaking from experience, ours would have been sacked on her first day).

Oh, hot blogger chick was me. Yep, now, what's that?? Is it a bird?? Is it a plane?? NO, it's a flying pig!

catlick said...

it is a mute point. I cannot remain mute. It is a "moot" point.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'm glad somebody pointed that out, Catlick.

Lord Gravy said...

Anyway, fuck all that. Kitten, do you want to come back to my place?

Perseus said...

Sublime Action?

Maybe that was her...

Does anyone know her?

Perseus said...

Sublime-Ation, I should say.

Mad Cat Lady said...

That is a name that sounds familiar. I think there was one like that in Ms Fits links. Have vague recollection she did something to do with aboriginal art, but i could have her mixed up with somebody else.

Loose Shunter said...

Now I notice that the combined reply count of this thread and the previous Perseus thread has topped 200. I am prepared to combine the two together in the chase for 300 comments as the trigger for more MS Paint art.

Pers - Glad to hear you dispensed with SG. She's a maddie it seems who validates the old premise "crazy in the head = great in bed". Best leaving that alone if you want a quiet life.

Please continue to regale us with your experiences in the demi-monde of the Melbourne-Surf Coast axis.
LS

kitten said...

Fuck you WitchOne. What kind of woman blames the victim of sexual harrassment? So its my fault is it?
Unlike you, you slag, I dont flirt. At all. I dont dress like a hooker. I wear trousers to work, and jeans to a pub. I dont wear much makeup. I am polite and professional. And still it happens. So according to you, perhaps I should start wearing a burqa to work and the pub?

Perseus said...

MCL - Yeah, I just went through the RWHM 'goodbye' comments looking for clues. I went to her site and she's 33, Melbourne, and likes Japanese hardcore music. But I know that name as well, and would have remembered it when she told me, I thought.

But according to her profile, she shares a food site with our own Melba. I shall await Melba's word.

Puss In Boots said...

I remember that name too. I thought she used to comment on TSSH? Or SR or TH?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Witchie: "So, kitty. What are you doing Friday night?"

Neighbour's cat: "Licking my own anus."

Witchie: "OK, what about Saturday?"

Perseus said...

Whoa, Kitten. I don't think that was what Witchy was saying. She said nothing about 'harrassment', only about 'flirting'.

Puss In Boots said...

Kitten, you seemed pretty up for blaming Pers for the behaviour of the women in his life. Now maybe you can see that sometimes it has nothing to do with that, but is often just that men/women act in such ways regardless of how they're treated?

Perseus said...

A guy trying to pick up a girl is not 'sexual harrassment'. It can become sexual harrassment, granted, but certain things have to happen, like, say, a refusal, for instance.

catlick said...

Perseus I note you haven't posted a link to this on Persues Q. I suspect "incredibly hot"'s ip will be burning a hole in your blog. Perhaps a trail of breadcrumbs?

squib said...

The Shewee makes me really, really glad I have a dick.

Really? The Shewee makes really, really glad I don't have a dick. Imagine having a Shewee stuck on your crotch 24/7. God, how annoying

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Pfft, Squib.

Having a dick is grouse.

Blokes can wee anywhere - and usually do.

kitten said...

I didnt blame Perseus, I just suggested that his actions may have been misinterpreted by SG, which then created all the drama. So no fault on either party, just a big misread of the situation, and a big over-reaction on her behalf. It happens.

Although I still stand by the fact that Perseus was attracted to someone he knew from the beginning to be slightly off, but still went there anyway.

Perseus said...

Catlick: There is every chance, and I mean EVERY chance, she was thinking, "Oh, that's that knob from the internet." Just cos I thought she was hot doesn't mean I have a chance. But I have sent her an email, which, in Kitten's opinion, is 'sexual harrassment'.

WitchOne said...

Excuse me kitten?? Maybe you really should watch your behaviour. Calling people nasty names, when they have simply pointed out a possible flaw in your personal behaviour leading to undesired attentions is an overreaction of a sort that could get you in trouble.

Oh, it does that all the time and you haven't yet learned your lesson. Imagine.

Pers. She makes me think of those women who believe every guy wants her and those who don't are gay or eunuchs. I hate those women. Oh, she's already said she is one. Oops.

INH, how did you know??? <3

I want a Shewee just for the laughs!

kitten said...

Its only sexual harrassment if you work with her Perseus.

And I don't think every man "wants me". Just enough of them to make my life uncomfortable.

Oh, and for the record, I've even had a gay male friend want to sleep with me, so they aren't excluded.

WitchOne said...

*smirk*

Puss In Boots said...

I wasn't just talking about SG, kitten. You've intimated before that the way women treat him is all his own fault. If you say that, then you'd have to accept some responsibility for the way men treat you. Which is why I have said from the outset that the way women treat Pers has little or no reflection on his behaviour toward them. People will act how they're going to act, in most cases. It's a personality thing. You say you're not inviting men to sexually harass you. Pers is likely not inviting women to go postal on him.

Also, in regards to your last comment, all I can do is *facepalm*. Now I really do think you're just trying to sound like an idiot.

Leilani said...

I'm staying Shewee free. I'm with Squib, real or fake - I'm glad there's none of that action in my pants.

I suspect Kitten is not even a female. Just some teenage blog boy-troll looking to stoke the net forum fires with some provocative statements.

Cath said...

What award does Perseus get for this post? ... Yet another post warranting >100 comments. Thanks of course going to Kitten who has the ability to piss off SO many people!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Its only sexual harrassment if you work with her Perseus.

No it's fuckin' not, Kitten

The Victorian Human Rights Commission defines "harassment" as;

Sexual harassment is conduct of a sexual nature that is unwelcome. Sexual harassment can be physical, verbal or written. It involves behaviour that could reasonably be expected to make a person feel offended, humiliated or intimidated. Sexual harassment is against the law.

Leilani said...

Can I win a Shewee?

WitchOne said...

Oh no! I forgot to cyber hug Pers for being such a gentleman.

Now, promise not to come onto me and I promise not to go postal on you ok??

Loose Shunter said...

Leilani,

I think a Sheewee needs to be worked into any MS Paint art.

LS

Cath said...

The Perseus vs Kitten Shewee award for generating comments above and beyond the norm...??

kitten said...

These are just some of the stories I have about men who I haven't slept with. You should hear the ones about the men I have slept with :-)

One day I will write a book. No one will believe it. But then fiction sells better anyway.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

You're a 15 year-old boy, aren't you Kitten.

Perseus said...

I can't wait for Boogeyman to get here.

WitchOne said...

So just keep making it up kitten, after all, you should never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

Mr E Discharge said...

Kitten is Napoleon, returned to take revenge on the living!

WitchOne said...

Nahhh Napoleon is living in Abu Dabi these days. She's doing well too, I'm proud of her.

The Red Setter said...

Well, I look forward to your next bout of reportage on your love life. It is curiously compelling.

Perseus said...

Is she still lactating, Witchy?

catlick said...

As a lesbian, I feel hurt/excluded that I/we are the only orientation/group/herd that haven't been included in kitten's sweeping accusations.

Perseus said...

I hope Lord Gravy actually picks her up.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Catlick, I think you'll find Kitten thinks lesbians only like chicks because they can't pick up blokes like she can.

catlick said...

Well, we are ugly.

come.to.mumma said...

Oh, so much laughing out loud - LB as hot blogging chick. Kitten as obnoxious fuckwit/troll. Ramon's Witchie's neighbour's cat's dialogue. Lactating Napoleon. Perseus as lovelorn. Actually, no, I'm not laughing at that. Sorry about psycho SG, Pers.

But. But. Presuming you were serious in the previous psycho-drama installment, that means I've potentially moved up the blind date target list. Promise to not think you're sexually harassing me if we talk. Bring it on!

catlick said...

So we don't have that "problem".

Perseus said...

...and you all play Netball.

**

CTM, oh yes, you've shot to number one! Email me!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Catlick, I bet you all wish you were hawt like Kitten.

Perseus said...

Actually, I don't thnk it was Sublime-Ation. I found a photo, and Sublime is a blonde, whereas the woman I met Saturday was a curly brunette.

patchouligirl said...

I can't believe I went out today and missed all this. Another beautiful post Perseus.

SG sounds positively bi-polar. It might not be entirely her fault and it would be kinder (and safer for you!) to just tell her its over rather than leave her hanging. She probably doesn't even remember what she did. I bet you can't wait to thank the 'mate' who introduced you to her or maybe you can return the favour.

catlick said...

I bet you all wish you were hawt like Kitten. Yes I do Ramon, yes I do.

WitchOne said...

I think she's grown up and moved on since those days Pers. We're Facefuck friends she seems really nice.

Catlick, relax, at least you don't have sexual harassment allegations on your record meaning you're still eligible for the military, policing, public services etc and so on. The world is your oyster and all because kitten is ignoring you.

Lord Gravy said...

I hope Lord Gravy actually picks her up.

I hope so! I'm awaiting the reply. I'm pretty fucking hot.

Ophelia said...

Awesome thread! i was going to suggest the hot chick was Social Disaster, until you said she was a brunette. Now THAT is a hot blogging chick.

Melba said...

My biggest problem with missing all this until now is that when I seem to go away from the computer, Kitten kicks in and stirs things up and comments go 100+. And my voice is not there. It's annoying for two reasons. One, I feel I miss it all and two, you might think I am Kitten.

Perseus, I am sorry things went badly with SG but unsurprised. I'm sorry I urged you to try again, but really you wanted to I could tell, so I was being supportive.

Also, sublime is an old mate of mine from the blogs. She is generally blonde but I've known her brown, and she's an art writer and publisher and I like her a lot.

Brown curly hair you say? I am putting all my brain power to this. I reckon someone from your review blog cause remember you posted some pics there a while ago with your fab tureen.

Oooh this is even more exciting that SG, which is just bad news, and really don't give her another chance. She's fucked up way too much in such a short space of time. I was a little concerned by the accelerated vibe I was getting from it too, considering the mistakes she was making.

Maybe sub has coloured her hair?

Pepsi said...

Gig was awesome, great to hear. Glad you liked them.

We were saw Avenue Q on Saturday night along way from your town, feel good fun with puppets

"... grab your dick and click, click....."

For someone who doesnt like paranoid psycho ladies Pers, you certainly seem to surround yourself with them, poor dear Pers, will you ever really learn; high maintenance women - god they get tiresome.

I dont know what was funnier though on this today, the SG Cherry melt or Kittens whinge augogo.

Someone must know this curled headed blogger vixen, I hope you find her, maybe she can be next weeks date??

Mr E Discharge said...

Sorry PQ,
I forgot to mention that I was coming in Drag.

Perseus said...

Yes Pepsi, someone must know the hot blogger woman.

Two words, a description.

'Social Disaster' I would have recognised, and it isn't Sublime-Ation but when she said her name I had a moment of vague recollection, then, in the midst of all the drama, I totally forgot her name (because, unlike Kitten's accusation, I wasn't thinking of pickeg her up).

Melba, you may hold the key, because you know EVERYONE on the blogworld, and she did tell me she 'used to' blog and doesn't any more.

Unless she was a TSSH person, in which case, Boogeyman or Desci may have a few ideas.

Perseus said...

pickeg?

Picking.

Leilani said...

Loose Shunter - Shewee MS Paint Art - that sounds like blogging gold. I cannot wait.

I think Kitten's parents came home and he had to get off the computer and feed the rabbits.

Melba said...

Um. You did mention on here though that you were going to that gig. It could have been anyone, current readers and lurkers included.

I wish you could remember the name. I hope that the person makes a comment.

obtuse-a said...

Hi,
I am so incredibly flattered by your description, Perseus.

Yes, I do read - and enjoy the dramatic scenarios of this blog, but it was loud [in a fantastic way] and I couldn't hear you properly. I had just escaped the belligerence of the front of the stage, and you happened to be standing nearby, so I thought I would say hello. I recognised you by the photos you once posted. If I saw Linda Carter in the street, I'd probably say 'Hi Melba'.

Sorry to hear you had a bad night.

A_____A

Melba said...

OOOOOH goody! Camera Obtusa. I don't know you but I know your name. You were around a bit a while back.

I wish I could ring Persey!

Boogeyman said...

Le sigh.

Re SG: SG sounds like my ex. My ex has was is known as Borderline Personality Disorder. For such a person, when life is not a drama, life is boring. So they unconsciously create drama out of the littlest things. They do random crazy things, lose purses so easily, get robbed, get involved in exposing major (actually non-existent) conspiracies at work, a simple train ride to visit a friend becomes a panic attack and they need rescueing, etc.

It seems really fun at first to be caught up in all that drama, until you realise that it's exhausting, and it's delusional. The drama isn't real, but they actually believe it is.

Her age has nothing to do with it. 24 year olds are mature adults, not fucking 16 year old teen drama queens.


Re the shewee: Those things have been around for years. I can't believe all you luddites haven't been keeping abreast (hur hur) of the latest developments in female urinary technology.

Having a dick is great, so useful, but I do wonder what it'd be like to have the alternate gender's sex organ, with so many more nerve endings, multiple erogenous spots (G, C, A and U - oh, and the infamous Z-spot, I really want one of those *drools*), and the potential for multiple orgasms without a refractory period.

Where was I - excuse me for a few minutes.


Re: Perseus's behaviour at the party: I agree that Perseus could have appeared to be chatting up another woman, but he has made it clear that it was only a brief conversation, and probably no incriminating body language involved. And even so, SG's reaction was way out of proportion - Russian presidents will tell you you don't launch a Warm Puppy nuclear bombardment when an aide forgets to sprinkle pepper in your vodka martini to remove the benzene.

Re: the kitten sub-thread: I think you're all being a bit hard on kitten. In my experience, those guys who are not in loving, sexually satisfying relationships (which is heaps if not most of them, including the married ones) often do have thoughts of getting it on with their female friends.

Of course, the mature men know the difference between thought and action, think through the potential consequences of their actions, and don't act on those thoughts. The immature fuckwits, of which there are many, don't, especially loaded with a skinful.

And finally, any suggestion that a woman (or man, for that matter) invites harassment upon themself by their manner of dress or behaviour is appalling. Sure flirt with people. Flirt back. If they ask you to stop, stop. For some reason so many fuckwit tools forget that simple rule, especially those with a small amount of workplace power shunting the blood supply away from their higher brain functions.

patchouligirl said...

I wish I could ring Persey! Oh this could go over 200 comments. This is even better than waiting until Monday - we can watch the whole thing unfold in a thread and provide live counselling while Puss and Kitten have a catfight in the background. Thats it - I'm making coffee.

WitchOne said...

Boogey, I have been waiting for your appearance and I find myself strangely disappointed. It's one thing to *know* you as the voice of reason but to *see* it in action is simply not quite as thrilling as I thought it would be.

Patch, while you're making coffee, I'll make the popcorn and get out the comfy fold out chairs, ok?

Leilani said...

I'm with you Witchy, I was hoping Boogey would sail in here with all guns blazing.

But he didn't - and that's why he's still my favourite.

Boogeyman said...

It is one of my outstanding characteristics that I never fail to disappoint.

WitchOne, at least you didn't call me the 'age of reason' - I think I might have had to go all mediƦvil on yo ass.

eat my shorts said...

Pers: Her behaviour when you guys were set up indicated that she might be unhinged, you gave her a few opportunities, and yes. She turned out to be unhinged.

At least you know. At least you gave it a shot and at least you aren't compromising yourself even though you could get a few more shags out of it.

The problem could actually be that she knows where you live, I don't know that I'd count on her not being too comfortable about travelling up that way.

It must be nice to be ugly and not have these problems.

Oh, kitten stop. You're making me piss myself laughing (and what's the point of that without a Shewee, nowhere near as fun).

It's fucked up that you were raped & sexually harrassed, kitten but "ugly" women get raped & sexually harrassed too.

UPDATE: She's sending me emails, promising to 'quit drinking and get some professional help'.

I have not and will not respond.


That's great for her, Pers. And you should not respond. She needs to do it because she wants to & not because there's a possibility of patching things up with you.

WitchOne said...

Fusty old age of reason Boogey, double fusty if you don't like old.

Yeah Leilani, I love him too but he might hit on us, aren't you scared? I suppose if you're as ugly as I am, you haven't got a worry either and therefore this entire paragraph is redundant.

EMS - I hate to be the one to say it but *some* women make up stories and women who raise serious issues such as rape and genuine sexual harassment* in a forum such as this without it being an actual topic. Well, I think it's mostly in her head, I cannot take her seriously given the amount of utter shit she serves up on a regular basis pretending it's intelligent comment. But hey, if everyone wants to humour her, more power to'em I say**.

*genuine sexual harassment, none of this, he asked me out twice because I said no the first time crapola.

**Take that political correctness!

homesick said...

Damm time zone. I wish I could read and respond at the same time as most of you here. I always get the feeling that I am continuing with a topic of discussion that was over hours ago... hate that.

Anyhoo for what its worth, well done Pers for making the break and yet I'm also sorry it didn't work out.

Can't really make comment on Kitten's comments as its not her thread nor her story of dating woe.. it is Pers's so lets get back to him.

One door opens as another pissed out of control deranged one slams shut.... the hot blogger has make contact with TSFKA. Will she mind if she is the subject of the next installment? Will Pers be honest with his thoughts and opinions of her knowing that she is reading this blog? Will Boogey come down off the happy pills and let rip with some Wilde-esq wit on Kitten? Will Witchy burn the microwave popcorn and stink out the house?

Tune in for the next installment of "Sex on the beach- The dating memoirs of Perseus Q"

Ahh fuck, now I'm late to pick the kids up from school...damm this time zone.

Perseus said...

Didactic... Sublime... Obtuse. You can see my confusion.

we can watch the whole thing unfold in a thread

Particularly because the beautiful Obtuse has locked blogs and no email address that I can find, which means I have to make my fumbling advances in front of you all. She may not even be single. She may be single and not interested. This is awkward.

What's worse is that I'm in Melbourne for the next 36 hours for work/band, and will not have access to the internet, so you'll all know how it goes before I do.

But, here goes...

Umm, Obtuse: Umm. Are you single? If not, stop reading now.

If so, well, umm, I'm 40 and I live by the beach two hours from Melbourne. I'm scrawny and I drink too much coffee and in winter I spend too much time watching footy. But, I'm very punctual, my bathroom is regularly jif'd, white king'd and exit mould'd and I love Melt-Banana, and oxford commas.

Wanna go for a coffee at Marios?

Lewd Bob said...

Nice play on oxford commas, Perseus. Nice balls too. Please be assured that is metaphor only. Thing is, I'm starting to see that perhaps Kitten had a point...

Perseus said...

Do you mean my Sherrins? I have a yellow one now, for night kicking. I have three local mates who are always up for a kick to kick on the Great Ocean Road late at night.

**

Oh, and Obtuse... assuming you don't want to answer in public, my email address is perseusq at gmail.com...

Boogeyman said...

WitchOne - are you suggesting that more attractive women are not hit upon more frequently than less attractive ones?

Or are you suggesting that many men will not try to hit on an attractive woman just for the ego boost if she shows interest?

As far as the question of whether kitten has been harassed and raped, or is just making it up for attention, why is this an issue? Why do you feel a need to dispute her assertion? No great points of debate were based on her statement. She just raised it in the course of a discussion about men's tendency to sexual opportunism. So it's base and demeaning to automatically assume she's lying.

As for men's sexual opportunism, may I present exhibit A - the perpetually frustrated Mr Perseus Q. Naturally Monsieur PQ is now hitting on Obtuse because he finds her personality beguiling and their online rapport intriguing. Or perhaps just because she was smoking hot, giving him a little didactic explosion on his lonesome.

Perseus said...

"the perpetually frustrated Mr Perseus Q. Naturally Monsieur PQ is now hitting on Obtuse because he finds her personality beguiling and their online rapport intriguing."

I resent that Boogeyman. I'm single. It's been three years since Andromeda 3.0 and yes, I am on the lookout for possible relationships, but I'm not 'perpetually frustrated' - in fact, I like my life, generally. I'm happy. Yes, Obtuse is freaking hot and I had an instant attraction, and wouldn't mind taking her out for a coffee. So what? Isn't that what single people do? Why label that with the demeaning term, 'sexual opportunism'? I don't know anything about her, but, I do know she likes Melt-Banana, so it's something in common. What would you have me do? Wait until I've known a woman for a year and fully understand her entire character before asking her out on a date?

I'm not the RSVP.com type, and there ain't much of a singles scene in my town, unless you're a schoolie.

Puss In Boots said...

Maybe Melba was as annoyed as I was that Kitten seemed to bring up the rape issue as a get out of jail free card to end the argument.

It irritates me when you're having a debate on the internet (or in real life), and then someone pulls out the, "Oh yeah?! Well, I have cancer/have a terminal illness/was raped/lost my leg in a freak pissing shenanigan" card. They know no one is going to argue with them after that, because they'll look like a heartless bastard. I think it's poor form and shows an inability to debate on the points of the argument, without making it all personal so you can effectively "win."

I'm not suggesting she was making it up at all. I'm not suggesting she brought such attention on herself (in fact, I said quite the opposite, and then said she should think about that in respect of her assumptions about Perseus). I just think it came out of left field because she no longer wished to participate in a debate where she knew she was losing.

If it's un-PC of me to say, then I think Melba has blazed her pioneering way ahead of me on that issue.

WitchOne said...

Boogey, what Puss said.

No need to reinvent the wheel here.

As far as who is who hit on more often (attractive vs. less attractive), I think it's obvious more attractive chicks are hit more often, hence my comment about being ugly and therefore not having a problem in this case.

It's behavioural as well though, if you are not dog ugly but flirt like like a fiend or present yourself as open to offers then expect attention.

Alex said...

Perseus, I imagine you've done the right thing in giving SG the flick, but I do feel sorry for her in a way. I know exactly what it's like to transform into an enormous fuckwit when you drink - I got to the stage where I was getting myself arrested every time I tried to have 'just one'. I suppose, as many have suggested, there might be deeper issues there too. Which just kind of makes me feel sorrier.

Is it wrong that when you said that Mr E Discharge cancelled and an attractive woman showed up, I immediately wanted there to be a connection?

Somehow, Kitten arguing with people is becoming a personal highlight for me around here. I guess Perseus and Boogeyman just aren't fighting like they used to.

wari lasi said...

God, here I am in sunny Angeles City in a fantastic hotel (Angeles Beach Club) and what am I doing? Spending an hour reading this. I'm pathetic.

Perseus, sorry it turned out like that but it was always going to. Someone else (Melba?) made a comment in the previous thread about kids. I supported and say it again. Imagine you have a young child (or two), if you wouldn't be happy having that person around them then forget it.

Witchie versus kitten. The smart money's on Witchie. Incidentally Witchie, does our (abeit brief) cyber affair constiute sexual harassment?

shitbmxrider said...

It irritates me when you're having a debate on the internet (or in real life), and then someone pulls out the, "Oh yeah?! Well, I have cancer/have a terminal illness/was raped/lost my leg in a freak pissing shenanigan" card. They know no one is going to argue with them after that, because they'll look like a heartless bastard. I think it's poor form and shows an inability to debate on the points of the argument, without making it all personal so you can effectively "win."

Bang.

A particular pet hate of mine... A few people I know, this is there only way of winning any argument...

And that borderline personality stuff... sounds very familiar to a girl I once knew.. Everything was a drama, everyone was out to get her, and everything bad that could have happened in this world, seemed to *happen* to her...

patchouligirl said...

you'll all know how it goes before I do

This could be a good thing. Why not save a step and just let us run it for you Perseus?

Having heard the snippet of melt banana in one of your posts I think finding a melt banana fan would be way more difficult than finding a hot looking woman.

WitchOne said...

Wari, I don't think it's harassment if I'm actively encouraging you. Unless I was harassing you? That's 'nother story and it's about time I won one!

xxxxx

Leilani said...

Witchie you're right,
I'm sick of being hit on in cyberspace. I am going to make my online personality as ugly as possible.

i will stop using any capitals or punctuation then i will start writing in txt spk thN d boiz wnt tink i M kewl & wiL Leav me aloN

Melba said...

Puss, it wasn't me that made that comment about Kitten's rape statement, even though for once you might have thought I was agreeing with you. It was someone else, Cath or Witchy? Not saying I disagree, I'm just not that interested in that part of the thread. The burn Kitten at the stake section. Oh, fucking sexual/gender politics, it's just back and forth and nobody "wins" so that's why I can't be bothered really. But why do women get their backs up so quickly when someone admits to thinking they're good looking? It's a puzzle.

I'm more interested in the continuing Perseus and Obtuse action. Of course you know that we will never hear about it on here if they do go out. Because she knows we are writing about it and sitting her like vultures ready to pick over the bones of a coffee at Mario's.

Also wari, it was me that brought up kids in the context of Perseus pursuing (at that stage, a seemingly unstable young woman, since proved) BUT my point was that BECAUSE he DOESN'T have kids, he's a free agent. My point was that if you do *already* have kids, you should be super careful with your "dating" life.

Damn work outside the home, it means I can only catch up on these threads after 5 and then everyone's gone...

patchouligirl said...

I'm still here.

Lewd Bob said...

i will stop using any capitals or punctuation then i will start writing in txt spk thN d boiz wnt tink i M kewl & wiL Leav me aloN

Oh my God, Leilani, you make me SICK!

WitchOne said...

I'm strangely excited by Leilani.

Yes Melba, it was me, possibly your "other" alter ego (aside from kitten of course).

And I hate to agree with yet another person on here all on the same thread but.... Melba is totally right!

There, I said it. My therapist will be most proud.

Forget kitten, she's had her 15 minutes plus extensions. Pers and Obtuse are the real show here and I need MORE dammit, MORE! I want to know every little detail and I want to dissect it like a 14 year old on her first date. Who likes whom, why and what they thought was cute. I want it all. What they spoke about and what they ate. Everything.

come.to.mumma said...

Fuck! I was number one for about four minutes. Look what happens when I go for a swim, sleep and do some work. Oh the humiliation...

patchouligirl said...

Pers and Obtuse are the real show here and I need MORE dammit, MORE!

Pass the popcorn would you? I'd like to see Obtuse do a post so we can get a different perspective. Maybe we can figure out where Perseus is going wrong.

Puss In Boots said...

Sorry Melba, it appears you and Witchie are my new Ramon and Boogey.

wari lasi said...

Witchie, I think as has been said before one has to feel harrased to be harassed. I personally think it's just about people who can't/won't take NO for an answer. ALso there seem to be little harm in light hearted banter. But thanks for the kisses, I'll never wash my screen again!

Melba, so it was you. And sure Perseus is a free agent, I was just saying it's a good measuring stick. I won't have nutjob women around my kids.

Must go and board the Bangkok flight. Have fun.

kitten said...

Been away testing out Google Wave (jealous much? Only if you are an internet geek :-(

How did Perseus find out who his hot stalker was?

And thanks Boogey. For the record, I have neither lied or made up anything I've said on here. I have no need to, my life is/has been more than interesting enough. I find it weird that people would assume that I have - what kind of sheltered lives do you people lead that you cannot imagine for a second that what I have said happened actually happened?

Puss In Boots said...

what kind of sheltered lives do you people lead that you cannot imagine for a second that what I have said happened actually happened?

That's not the issue, Kitten. The issue was in the way you brought it up.

In any event, majority rules and I'm not allowed to debate with you anymore. Where's Perseus when you need him? We apparently need more of his dating stories.

Melba said...

I AM pretty witchy Puss.

I think Perseus said he'll be off-air for a little while, he's in town for work without internet?

Still haven't scanned that article yet, haven't forgotten. And I'll do it, for my promises are of the Hortense variety.

Perseus said...

Puss: I got all confused as to who was arguing what point by the end, so, I decided to stay out of it, but, because I mostly agree with you on things, I'll just side with whatever you said. Whatever you said was.

I haven't slept much.

Anyway you lot, Obtuse has made contact via email and there is a possibility of a coffee and that's all the information you ghouls can have, indefinitely. You may not ever get any more than that.

Also, I'm going to Canberra for the weekend, so there'll be no weekend wrap (unless you want a rundown of my niece's 21st which is just a dinner in a restaurant).

We may never see Red Setter again.

Mr E Discharge said...

You may not ever get any more than that.

Has another Blog made a better offer for exclusive rights to your love life?

Perseus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Perseus said...

CometoMumma: By the way, you are still number one on my blind date list. besides, you never emailed me.

E: Yes, the Blog that is known as 'the real world'. By the way, I'm now sort of glad you never turned up. I only met Obtuse because I was looking for you.

Mr E Discharge said...

In future, don't bother with getting your mates to fix you up. Just give a call and I'll push my father down the stairs.That way we both get something out of it.

patchouligirl said...

You may not ever get any more than that

You think you can get along without us but the first sign of trouble you'll be back in here begging for our insults and conflicting advice.

WitchOne said...

Pers. you must realise you just agreed with me as well.

Deary me.

Boogeyman said...

Perseus, in the interests of full and transparent disclosure, I demand that you wear this t-shirt to all future dates.

Melba said...

patchouligirl - you are so right. He will come crawling back to us moaning if it goes wrong.

Hell hath no fury than me not getting my vicarious love-angst fix.

But let's be big about this and wish him well if they go out, and also that he survives a 21st in Canberra.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Maybe Kettle can give him some tips about surviving Canberra.

She's from that neck of the woods.

Kettle said...

Indeed Ramon, 'tis a fine town just one I will never, ever live in again unless I unexpectedly become Prime Minister.

Pers, the best thing about Canberra for me is always the company (as I'm sure it will be for you at your niece's 21st), but coming a close second is the Book Grocer store in Kingston. I suspect it's the smallest of the Grocer stores but the shelves are Tardis-like.

Ooh ooh! Actually there's a Nick Cave exhibition on at the National Library at the moment; it's bloody awesome.

Bon voyage, and happy birthday to your niece.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Don't forget this place, Kettle!

Melba said...

How is it that I have been to Canberra many times and never seen Cockington Green?

Is it really that small?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Hang your head in shame, Melba.

And yes, it's really that small.

It's really, really small.

It's fucking small.

The pub, thankfully, is life sized.

Melba said...

I am hanging my head in shame and feeling very small about not having seen the very small village.

And I'm a mother. With children. Who would have loved to see the very small village. It looks like it puts our little Tudor Village in the Fitz Gardens to shame.

BUT WE HAVE THE FAIRY TREE!

Melba said...

I am hanging my head in shame and feeling very small about not having seen the very small village.

And I'm a mother. With children. Who would have loved to see the very small village. It looks like it puts our little Tudor Village in the Fitz Gardens to shame.

BUT WE HAVE THE FAIRY TREE!

Melba said...

I am hanging my head in shame and feeling very small about not having seen the very small village.

And I'm a mother. With children. Who would have loved to see the very small village. It looks like it puts our little Tudor Village in the Fitz Gardens to shame.

BUT WE HAVE THE FAIRY TREE!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

It's obviously something you feel very strongly about.

Unless it's part of your cunning ploy to bump up the number of posts to get another MS Paint prize from Loose Shunter.

Kettle said...

Deary me, Cockington Green. That un-represses a happily repressed memory. The only time I've been there was when my crazy, born-again-Christian aunt came to visit. She had a perm and wore a knitted jumper with koalas on the front. We spent our time asking when we could leave for Devonshire tea and she spent hers praying for us.

Kettle said...

PS Melba, I'll swap my Cockington Green for your fairy tree. What do you say?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Does the Fairy Tree have a pub nearby?

If not, then I ain't going.

Melba said...

There might be a pub in the mini Tudor Village but I doubt it's serving ale. Closest real pub to the Fairy Tree would be the one next to the Hilton or maybe Spring St?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Pub near the Hilton, I reckon.

I've been there. Not a bad boozer.

Kettle said...

Stop talking about great pubs I've never been too! That's most unfair.

Now I'm going to need to go to Dan Murphy's, just to make myself feel better.

(By the way, there's a Dan Murphy's one block away from my house. Hurrah! Sure it's no classy watering hole but it's got crates and crates of fine-priced ales.)

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Best pub in Melbourne is this one.

When I die, I want to have my ashes scattered over the floor of the front bar.

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