Monday, October 5, 2009

I wish I'd said that

"Step outside and say that, fat boy"


I dip into the Australian these days more in despair than hope, but this piece about writers going the knuckle on other writers rather amused me.

Especially this bit;

A new book of "literary invective" has brought together evidence of how writers really view other writers. It shows that some authors are at their most inventive and scabrous when sinking their teeth into other literary stars.

Take Jane Austen, one of the most revered and enduring English authors. Mark Twain, the American writer, was so irritated by Austen that he wrote in one letter: "Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin bone."


Quite.

Although oddly enough, it refers to Kathy Lette as a "novelist", instead of "geological outcropping", which is the correct term when talking about Kathy Lette.

45 comments:

Puss In Boots said...

Hilarity! I am so stealing that line.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Not a big fan of Jane Austen then, Puss?

wari lasi said...

It is indeed a right royal smackdown. And who would expect less from Twain? I just don't like how he went all weird after the train crash.

Was this article in relation to the Gillard biography review? I recall reading something about that recently. Someone called Wallace and Kent in The Monthly.

He gets maligned here (and he's still missing BTW) but Jack Marx did a hilarious take off of Kathy Lette I seem to vaguely recall. My memory's fucked today. Got very sunburnt yesterday.

Puss In Boots said...

I can't stand her. I don't understand the love.

Oscar Wilde had some great put downs as well.

Perseus said...

I don't get the Austen love either.

I like one of the Brontes, but I can't remember which one. The 'Wuthering Heights' one. I actually really liked that book... all that mist on the moors, and rain on the roof while people sit silently as an old clock ticks. Awesome.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Ah yes, Oscar.

"It would take a heart of stone to read the death of Little Nell without laughing".

I suspect Squib is packing the car right now to drive to the eastern states to punch Perseus and Puss in the face.

wari lasi said...

Enough of this highbrow literary musing.

Perseus, what happened on the weekend? Nothing the Bronte sisters, Twain, Dickens or even Kathy Lette could dream up comes even close to your reality.

Perseus said...

It's an epic, Wari, but I have lots of work, and one of my neighbours is coming around tonight with some beers and a DVD of the AFL Grand Final and we're going to re-live all the drama and excitement.

I shall post the yarn tomorrow morning. Vomit makes a re-appearance.

Mr E Discharge said...

Nothing the Bronte sisters, Twain, Dickens or even Kathy Lette could dream up comes even close to your reality.

I thought "Puberty Blues" came pretty close.

wari lasi said...

An epic eh? And I forgot to mention Homer and Tolstoy.

I wait with baited breath, and I suspect I'm in good company. The AFL grand final was indeed an outstanding game.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Or something by "The Marx Brothers".

Cath said...

I think I may have to pack my adult nappies tomorrow in anticipation of Pers's post. I just *know* I will piss myself...!

Mad Cat Lady said...

*bounce bounce bounc*
i am all agog :)

Lewd Bob said...

I love Twain. Love the cunt. He once spoke at the Prahran Town Hall where me and the kid borrow all sorts of half-torn, dog-eared, vomited-on library books. I tell him about Twain every time we go in there. He looks at me and says:

"Can we go home now?"

squib said...

I like *Austen but but I lurve 19th century fiction

Best recent pick from that era is Zola's 'Thérèse Raquin' (Persey I think you'd like that one, if you haven't already read it)

*but the titles suck. 'Pride and Prejudice'. 'Sense and Sensibility'. Awful

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Squib, few people know that Austen originally wanted to call 'Pride and Prejudice' "Hot chicks on horses", but it was changed during editing.

squib said...

Right. What a veritable fount you are

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I know all sorts of clever stuff, Squib.

I'm not just some pathetic geek with a morbid hatred of owls and an obsessive interest in politics, you know.

squib said...

Note that I did not say what you are a fount of

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Well, what would you rather read; Pride and Prejudice or Hot chicks on horses?

squib said...

Hot Men with Castles and BBC Period Drama Sideburns on Horses maybe

patchouligirl said...

I've always referred to McLeods daughters as the chicks in jodphurs show.

gingatao said...

Should be more of it, especially these days when all of Australian literature is a snarling cesspit of nepotism and corruption. Did you know the Fed Government spent over ten million dollars of tax payers money funding literature last year.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Australian literature has always been a snarling cesspit of nepotism and corruption.

squib said...

Did you know the Fed Government spent over ten million dollars of tax payers money funding literature last year.

You say that like it's a bad thing, Ging

eat my shorts said...

I shall post the yarn tomorrow morning. Vomit makes a re-appearance.

Gah. You're such a tease.

Hot Men with Castles and BBC Period Drama Sideburns on Horses

Phwoarrr!

come.to.mumma said...

Kathy Lette? Stupid, trite, try-hard, not funny, cunt cunt. Just sayin'.

Dr. Golf said...

Did you know the Fed Government spent over ten million dollars of tax payers money funding literature last year.

Does this include the cost of Marieke's insightful literary reviews on the book club show.

Mind you, I did enjoy the time they reviewed Liar's Poker.

Marieke: "I just didn't get it"

John Safran: "Thats because your a communist"

Nervous laughter all round.

catlick said...

I wait with baited breath Sorry, but pet peeve, it must be "bated". And... Kathy Lette? Stupid, trite, try-hard, not funny, cunt cunt. Just sayin'. Yes, yes and yes. And wtf does G Robertson see in her?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

One of the reasons I love Shaun Micallef is that he mentioned Kathy Lette's name once on The Micallef Programme and somebody clapped.

A look of absolute disgust passed across Shaun's face as he snapped back "oh don't, she's dreadful".

Leilani said...

And now The Age is getting Marieke to write a novel in instalments for your mobile phone reading pleasure. I just don't get her. At all.

kitten said...

Austen and others of her ilk are for wimps. Try Anais Nin.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

By crikey, Leilani, an author I can't stand is writing a "novel" on an application I have no intention of using.

Can't wait!

wari lasi said...

Fair cop Catlick, bit of a pedant myself.

Must be the angler in me. Next time I'll say, "I wait, worm on tongue".

Where is it Perseus?

Leilani said...

I think you have to pay to receive it. It's bad enough having her in print and on our screens. The last think I want is her clogging up my inbox with her self-referential "prose".

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Leilani, Marieke is a ABC/Fairfax "personality" and as such you will never be rid of her.

Expect to see her on Insiders, Outsiders, Sidewinders, The Tuesday Book Club, the Thursday "Fuck Off" Club and all points west.

We will never be free of her. NEVER!!!

OK, I'm starting to freak myself out here.

squib said...

Marieke is lovely

*looking at watch*

Where is he?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Probably having "make up" sex with Suicide Girl, Squib.

wari lasi said...

It's the reappearance of the vomit that has me intrigued. If somewhat nauseous.

patchouligirl said...

I got my toddler to sleep, the coffees made but no post yet!

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Pers. isn't coming.

Let's go back to abusing Marieke.

Leilani said...

I was out of town last week. Can someone fill in the blanks on what Perseus had planned for the weekend?

Melba said...

Can I also register my hatred for Kathy Lette's writing? All the adjectives that have been used about her I agree with.

Thank you.

And where is the Perseus.

Bloody hell. Too much suspense.

Perseus said...

Sorry. Work.

And stop picking on Marieke.

Melba said...

Even I think it's all a bit too Marieke DOTCOM now.

And how restrained is this? Leaving a comment here before reading the new mega-saga above?