I don’t have any friends that are into “alternative medicine”.
This may be because whenever people start talking about “natural healing” or “alternative therapies’ or even “big pharma” my usual response is something along the lines of
“What! What!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT, YOU FOUL RAT-HEARTED BASTARD. Are you seriously suggesting that people become ill because they didn’t chant three times a day or because their charkas aren’t aligned or squirting coffee up my arse is a sure cure for depression or cancer or scabies.
“Get out of my sight before I stab you. STAB YOU RIGHT THROUGH YOUR MOTHER-FUCKING EYE.”*
I find it endlessly amusing that these charlatans, while bleating on and on about “listening to your inner child’ or “using the body’s natural healing energies”, directly or indirectly blame you for the temerity of getting sick.
Well, I’m sorry, but that’s crap.
“But oh,” they bleat “people should have the chance to try alternatives, it can’t hurt.”
Sorry but once again, that’s crap.
It can hurt if you take homeopathic remedies instead of something that actually works when you’re going into a malaria infested area.
And it can hurt if enough people don’t get their children immunised against pertussis which results in the decline of what medical scientists call “herd immunity”. In short, this means an increase in the rate of the pertussis bacteria which in turn means children who are too young to be immunised stand a much higher chance of dying of “whooping cough”.
Which is a fucking nasty death.
Feel free to try this guff but if you use it instead of conventional medicine then quite frankly, you’re a mug.
There is no such thing as “alternative medicine”. If it works, it’s medicine; if it doesn’t, then it’s not.
*That’s when I’m sober. When I’ve had a few drinks, I tend to get nasty.