Wednesday, April 7, 2010

That Tony, always kidding around!

"Fetch my pure silk smoking jacket and Cuban cigars , this instant!"


The rampaging “Man-bull”, destroyer of utes, smiter of disbelievers, scourge of the incapable is no more, with his decision not to re-contest his electorate at the Commonwealth election later this year.

The Mad Monk, as always, chipped in with the comedy element, as the Age reports;

Mr Abbott was generous in his praise of Mr Turnbull.

"In just two terms, Malcolm has scaled the commanding heights of Australian politics,’’ a statement from Mr Abbott read.

‘‘Malcolm has brought to all his public roles extraordinary determination, considerable personal charisma and great intellectual consistency.

"Personally, I have enjoyed his friendship since university days and look forward to doing so for many years to come."


Which I would translate as “the cunt’s finally gone, has he? You ripper”.

Based on my amazing political skills, my take on the next few years in federal politics is something like this*.

The Kevinator leads the ALP into a second term, with an increased majority. “Jolly Joe” Hockey and the Monk then amuse us all with an endless round of challenge and counter challenge before Ruddy wallops them for a third time sometime in 2013 before standing down and leaving The Gillard to take over.

Commentators usually finish these sort of pieces with some pious platitude about “how good governments depend on effective oppositions” but – you know – fuck that!

*Probably wrong and inaccurate even now, but that’s never stopped anybody in the Gallery.

38 comments:

squib said...

Indeed, who needs comedy box sets

Puss In Boots said...
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Puss In Boots said...
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wari lasi said...

OK, so it is funnier than Family Guy. But only just.

Puss In Boots said...

Hey! My comments disappeared! Stupid blogger.

I think Malcolm Turnbull looks like a PM, but I don't want him to be one.

And Boogey is not at all how I pictured him in my head. But that's probably a good thing.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Indeed, Squib.

I'm looking forward to Malcolm's show at the next comedy festival Buy me a pony, you plebs!

Alex said...

What did you have in your head, Puss? After all this time I was just kind of picturing Vincent Price.

Puss In Boots said...

Yes, that's how I pictured him, Alex. He doesn't look like that.

Stupid blogger then brought all my comments back and made me look like an idiot. *grumble* Although, I generally do a pretty good job of that myself.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Whereas Boogey would have been looking for the short chick in a bio-hazard suit with matching heels.

Puss In Boots said...

Haha. He did mention I was not as short as he thought I was. People never believe I'm only 5'2". I must give off the aura of being taller, even taking my heels into consideration.

Alex said...

Just to go back to the post for a tick, Ramon - who do you reckon the Liberals will run in Wentworth now? Any obvious choices?

patchouligirl said...

Most times when I finally meet someone in person who I've chatted to online for ages they are totally different to how I pictured them. Several years ago in yahoo chat we had a Sydney locals room and we all met up as a group a few times at different pubs. They were a diverse group - one time we had a party at my house and a fire dancer turned up.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Arthur Sinodinos would be my guess, Alex

squib said...

Puss... AND? Yes and? What else?

patchouligirl said...

Oh yes, nearly forgot - Puss - what else?

Puss In Boots said...

What else what??

squib said...

He doesn't look like Dr Phibes and you're not as short as he thought. Oh my god

Is that ALL?!

Alex said...

I thought that they were just meeting up for a quick cuppa and a chat. What were you expecting, Squib?

Puss In Boots said...

I'm not saying anything else as yet, because Boogey hasn't commented.

But yes, it was just a tea break. I had Earl Grey. I believe he had some form of green tea (bleugh). We discussed various inconsequential things. And then we both went back to work. Well, he went back to work. I went shopping, and then back to work.

eat my shorts said...

You went shopping? What did you buy?

Puss In Boots said...

For once, it wasn't shoes! It was a handbag.

Alex said...

green tea (bleugh)

Hey!!

For once, it wasn't shoes! It was a handbag.

Puss, at some point, you really should follow up shoe-a-palooza with handbag-a-watzit.

Boogeyman said...

You know, I go into these meetings thinking I'll be at my charming, witty, erudite best, totally forgetting that 10+ years of short sleep has turned me into a glaze-eyed stoner with the linguistic flexibility of a Broca's aphasiac on any day before 4pm.

Based on Puss's online descriptions of herself, I expected to be meeting a midget Romanian gymnast in flashy 12-inch stilettos and a neck scarve, but instead found an attractive normal-heighted woman wearing a waist-scarve waiting instead.


Boogey is not at all how I pictured him in my head.

I think I prefer your original image of me - a tall suave brunette or redhead - to the reality of a medium-heighted blond David Bowie/Frank Spencer look-a-like.


Surprisingly, given our short tea break lasted an hour and a half, we chatted only a little about bloggers and the blogosphere.

Puss In Boots said...

You really shouldn't tempt me, Alex. And anyway, I've already been in enough trouble around here for handbag purchases.

Boogey, you are too hard on yourself. David Bowie is hott.

Hahaha! Midget Romanian Gymnast indeed! I would have described myself more as a below-average height, average-bordering-on-curvy person in 12-inch stilettos and a neck scarf. But I decided to wear short high heels today, and turn the scarf into a belt just to throw you off.

And we didn't talk about bloggers that much because I have an amazing ability to go off on tangents. I do eventually end up back at my original point, but it can take a few hours.

Boogeyman said...

Also, I forgot to mention that Puss's chosen nom de plume is fairly accurate, as she does have somewhat of a feline quality about her (in a good way, I mean. I'm not suggesting she just sat there licking her clothes clean then coughed up a fur ball). But the boots part is misleading. She should instead be called - Puss In Pumps.

Alex said...

So Boogey, there was no sign of over-muscled calves and buttocks, tilted gut-spilling pelvis and unnaturally thrust shoulders, then?

I have an amazing ability to go off on tangents. I do eventually end up back at my original point, but it can take a few hours.

I reckon that you should never feel bad about having that quality, Puss. The world needs people like you, to make up for monosyllabic retards like me. I have a cousin who can hold a conversation without any input at all from the other party. She is my absolute favourite person to talk to at family funerals.

eat my shorts said...

Puss, at some point, you really should follow up shoe-a-palooza with handbag-a-watzit.

I second this notion.

I have to shop vicariously through the purchases of others until I start earning money of my own to spend.

So I'd really appreciate it. You've got hella good taste in shoes, so I'm sure it's the same with handbags.

When I earn some money, I'm gonna buy me an old-school (as in "old-school", not an old school) satchel. You know, one of those brown leather ones. Problem is, they're heaps in fashion here & therefore are majorly expensive. Fashion bastards.

Dr. Golf said...

The Libs have been trying to lure Steve Waugh for years. Also Grant Hackett and Dean Jones.

Dr. Golf said...
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Dr. Golf said...

I love celebrity candidates.

Are you good at hitting a ball, reading an autocue or surviving mining accidents? Married to a former AFL coach? Divoted your life to a career which has left you unemployable at age 35?

We need you to help run the country.

Puss In Boots said...

I do have a collection of great boots, but until I lose at least another 5kgs, I'm not wearing them. Boots make your calves look fat even when you're thin, so I'm certainly not wearing them when I actually do have fat calves.

What makes me feline? I am very interested to know!

Haha Alex! I think people only hate it when they've called me for something quick, and I keep yapping away while they're trying to shut down the conversation and get to whatever it is they're doing. I once had an 8 hour phone conversation.

EMS, I might consider it. I don't have as many handbags as I do shoes, because they're more expensive. But I might have enough to cobble together a post. And the satchel look is definitely in at the moment. You'll have to wait until it's going out of style, and then grab a bag on sale.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

This is why I generally avoid face-to-face meetings with other TSFKA-ERS.

Puss In Boots said...

You don't like having pleasant chats with new people, Ramon?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Not really, Puss, no.

I do enjoy loud, drunken arguments.

Kettle said...

Just with new people, Ramon, or with people generally?

squib said...

David Bowie is hott.

Especially in goblin tights!

Ramon, you may miss me on Poetry Slam Friday (you know, with these poetry plebs and all). I'm going away for for a week to see some evil dolphins

Alex said...

I'm with Ramon. Except I just avoid face-to-face meetings, generally.

I'm also with Dr Golf. Celebrity political candidates are great. Especially if they end up as ministers. Garrett and his incredible shrinking portfolio being the best example I can think of.

David Bowie is hott.

I noticed that nobody's falling over themselves to give Frank Spencer the same rap.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Just with new people, Ramon, or with people generally?

Pretty much with everybody, Kettle.

Firends,

Acquaintances,

Passers-by.