Friday, January 16, 2009

Poetry slam Friday!

I met a traveller from an antique land

Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,

Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown

And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,

The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.

And on the pedestal these words appear:

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Nothing beside remains: round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,

The lone and level sands stretch far away


Lewd Bob said...

My sad, old bastard of a grandfather once said to me, at a family gathering, "this scene reminds me of a Shelley poem".

I thought 'well at least he has his wits about him still'. He can still remember poetry and relate it to mundane urban life.

Until the next family gathering when he sidled up to me and said "this scene reminds me of a Shelley poem".

It was then I realised he was senile.

Mr E Discharge said...

I can't wait to see how this relates to Owls and Perseus' sex life.

Challenging stuff.....

Mr E Discharge said...

Ok, I just re-read the poem, and I get the Perseus part.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

And to those who scoffed about my hatred of owls, I say


Puss In Boots said...

Ramon, I took the liberty of buying you a souvenir. It's a gourd that's been burned into the shape of an owl. It's very cute. Please let me know where you would like me to mail it.

I am currently in a US airport, waiting for a connecting flight to my next destination. I have never seen so many fat people in one place at once. And no wonder, given the size of the meal I was just served. It could have served a family of 4 back home.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

That's very sweet of you Puss.

I recall trying to by a ham roll in New York once.

Me: "Can I have a ham roll, please."

Bloke in shop: "Do you want [long and baffling list of possible things to be placed in said roll] with it."

Me: "um, no thanks."

Bloke: "You just want a ham roll?!"

Me: "Yes please."

Bloke: "Weird!"

Puss In Boots said...

For some reason, no one can understand me in this airport. And I don't even have a strong accent! Most other travellers I've met haven't believed I'm from Australia. Yet here, I ask for a coke and I get a blank stare. I have to repeat it 4 times, and then they say, 'Oh! A coke!'. 'Yes, that's what I said', I reply, and get the blank stare again. Weird.

squib said...

I recall trying to order bacon in Western Australia once

Squib: My 4 year old wants just bacon. Can we get some of that on a plate?

Waitress: Sorry, we stopped doing breakfast at 12. But you can order a BLT sandwich

Squib: OK can I order the BLT without the sandwich part?

Waitress: (talking as she writes it all down) So without the bread, without the lettuce, no tomato, no mayo, and I’ll put in brackets I.E Just bacon?

Mr E Discharge said...

Scene: Restuarant in Macon, Georgia:

Waiter: What can I get y'all?

Me: Just a cappuccino, please

Waiter: Pardon?

Me: A cappuccino, Thank you.

Waiter: (blank expression) Ah, okay sir. (Exits to Kitchen)

Waiter reappears with chef, they stand outside kitchen having an animated discussion while looking in my direction. Chef returns to kitchen shaking his head.

Waiter returns to the table carrying a plate.

Waiter: Here's your Tuna, Sir. Chef say's there's no way he's gonna serve it in a cup.

Perseus said...

Cuppatuna? Brilliant idea!

When I first arrived in Greece, I practised the most important sentence to learn in Greek: "One packet of Peter Stuyvesant please; soft pack."

However, at my first attempt, in Greek, I said, "One packet of Peter Stuyvesant please; wanker."

(Malakos = Soft, Malakas = Wanker... an easy mistake to make under pressure)

wari lasi said...

But don't they tend to use Malaka as a sort of term of endearment?

And yes, the Cuppatuna is indeed brilliant.

And Ramon, when your ham roll came, did it have half a pig on it? They make fuck off big sandwiches.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Indeed it did, Wari.

And I don't know if the shop keeper would appreciate being called a wanker by a complete stranger trying to buy ciggies.

wari lasi said...

Yes, I suppose some familiarity would be called for.

Is the cricket on today?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

One day-er at the MCG later today, Wari.