Monday, January 12, 2009

They want us to buy what?

There are a great many things I waste my money on; beer, coffee, the Age, books on obscure aspects of history that one day I will read.

One product, however, that falls into the “why the fuck would anybody in their right mind buy that” is currently being flogged by the ABC - a three CD collection of one-hit wonders from the Countdown archives.

What. The. Fuck?

Surely one of the defining features of the one-hit wonder is that people actually didn’t like them all that much. The thought that people might shell out their hard-earned on a mixed collection of musical duds is being a touch optimistic, I would suggest.

And fuck, I hate Countdown.

Everybody raves about how it was a “ground breaking experience” and “paved the way for the future of Australian music*”. Well, sod that.

Looking at the old shows reveals it was obsessed with mainstream pap; John Farnham, Sherbet, The Ted Mulry Gang, for fuck’s sake. No Nick Cave, no Saints, no Triffids, no Go-Betweens.

Countdown and its cheer-squad can go fuck themselves.

*Sadly, given the future of Australian music seems to be Delta Goodrum and Australian Idol, I fear this may have been true.

40 comments:

Melba said...

What songs did you cut your teeth on, Ramon? Say in about 1978 - 1983? Not everyone springs from the womb loving the Saints etc.

Countdown was MOR, as was I'm sure every other music show around the world. Not being an apologist, just saying.

Oh, and as an aside. What is it with the owls? I realise it goes back, but can somebody please explain?

catlick said...

Just heard this ad on 3LO, whilst I was ironing my shoulder pads.
I would argue that the artists were the duds, not necessarily the songs. If one particular artist had strung together a few of these tunes, they would be on another ABC collection altogether. The ABC are strip mining their archives constantly as they focus on marketing not content.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

My brother was a big Beatles fan, Melba, so I mostly grew up on them.

I just irks me people rave about Countdown so much.

Owls are filthy, filthy CuntCunts of the air. I will never cease to denounce them.

Catlick, good point about the strip-mining. Is "ironing my shoulder pads" a euphemism of some sort?

Melba said...

I was going to say also that re the one hit wonders - they were popular because alot of people liked them. But the band then usually was unable to pull another out of the hat. So I guess I'm agreeing with catlick, who is obviously referencing the days of yore, ie shoulder pads and 3LO rather than the cutting-edge catchy 774! This Countdown stuff is all about nostalgia. No, sorry it's all about making money VIA nostalgia.

And Ramon, thanks for even going to the owl question, but I'm still in the dark. Srsly.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Owls just creep me out, Melba.

And hasn't Perseus been quite lately!

Melba said...

Perseus is in LURVE! Or on the way to LURVE. Or makin' a lotta LURVE.

So Ramon you really don't have any dirty musical secrets? A penchant for Bros, perhaps? Or Wham? It was the 99 Balloons song, wasn't it?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I think I've got some Irish folk music in my record* collection somewhere, Melba.

Does that count?

*Younger readers may want to look "records" up.

catlick said...

Melba did you watch the eighties Video Hits on ten this Saturday? Faustina played all that and more.

Fad MD said...

It was the 99 Balloons song, wasn't it?

I've got a great punk cover of that song. In fact I've got a lot of punk and ska covers in my collection, including the theme songs to Cheers and Fraggle Rock.

Just sharing.

Melba said...

Castlick, I was in the kitchen at a beach house Saturday morning, doing dishes etc like a good daughter-in-law, and yes, I did notice Bros in the background.

And Ramon, they're bringing records back. Next, we'll all be needing turntables.*

*Youngies, this is what we oldies used to listen to our records, way before your madd djs needed them.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Musical nostalgia from the 80s sucks.

Apart from The Smiths, of course.

catlick said...

"Castlick"
eeeewwwwwwwwww

squib said...

I agree Ramon (but not about owls). I can think of nothing worse than Rage's stupid retro Countdown special

I grew up on Young Talent Time, Rage, and my mum's cassettes and records which included (speaking of dirty musical secrets) Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers, Anne Murray, and the soundtrack to, I kid you not, 'Against the Wind'

Too-ra-lee, too-ra-lie, all I can share...

catlick said...

"and yes, I did notice Bros in the background."
And wasn't he a fashion template for a generation or two of baby dykes?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

And wasn't he a fashion template for a generation or two of baby dykes?

I sincerely hope not.

A woman in the building where I work has the most stunningly ugly fe-mullet

Boogeyman said...

Countdown repeats shit me because:

a) for every retro hit song they play, they play about 20 other crap songs that were popular at the time, but were rightly seen as rubbish in the fullness of time,

b) The retro hit songs they play are rarely the best 80s songs I'd like to hear, but just the popular rubbish you can hear any day on AM radio or Triple M.

catlick said...

Ramon I'm referring to the androgynous lead singer with the blond wheatgrass do, topped by that gay hat. There are dykes still clinging to that look.

Fe-mullets are gross. Nothing says "courier" quite like it. I read that women eventually revert to the hair style that hearkens back to their hey day.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

There are dykes still clinging to that look

Yikes!

Can't you cancel their membership or something. They're letting the side down.

And may I say how disappointed I am Perseus is obviously out enjoying himself instead of blogging every detail of his personal life for our amusement.

catlick said...

Well, the thing dykes are obsessed about is showing and knowing. So they sacrifice fashion to enunciate their proclivities.

And Perseus really should have checked in by now.

Boogeyman said...

And may I say how disappointed I am Perseus is obviously out enjoying himself instead of blogging every detail of his personal life for our amusement.

I'm sure Perseus has probably taken a laptop with him and is taking detailed notes in between... overs.

Catlick, sounds to me like the dykes just need a fashion label of their own that doesn't include denim, leather or hemp.

catlick said...

Boogey half of them already wear uniforms. That's a label of sorts.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'm sure Perseus has probably taken a laptop with him and is taking detailed notes in between... overs.

He better, Boogey, or I'm stripping him of his title of "CuntCunt".

wari lasi said...

I wish Perseus all the best. Even though if I heard a woman described as a "cricket loving goth" I'd run a hundred miles. Goth does nothing for me, and every woman I've known has hated the cricket. "God, it's soooo boring"

I must shamefacedly admit to being into Countdown in my early teens (I'm 45 in May). The best fun was my father giving it all a serious rubbishing. I remember Dr Hook and the "Walk right in, sit right down" song. The old man sat there saying, "They stayed up all night to learn the words to this." And "Fernando" being number 1 for about a year.

Ramon, so young, so cynical.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I'm no longer young, Wari.

I am cynical, though.

squib said...

Off topic, but I am wondering if you people in the Eastern States already have sad knob-heads driving around with aussie flags on their cars all kitted out for Oz Day?

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Can't say I've noticed such behaviour, Squib.

squib said...

I had a feeling it was just Perth

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I stayed in Freo during my trip to Perth, some years ago.

I had my photo taken standing next to the memorial to the wharfie shot by police during the 1919 ruckus.

wari lasi said...

I am cynical, though.

Goes with the territory Ramon. But you know what they say, "Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional"

squib said...

The fountain is in King's Square

In the same square there is now a scary statue of John Curtin that you would probably dig as well

Perseus said...

Aw, give me a honeymoon period guys!

*

I have a theory that crap commercial music these days (Britney, Pink etc.) is much much worse than crap commercial music then (Duran Duran, Kim Wilde). Hence, Countdown was alright. Not great, but alright. I remember lots of Bowie, frinstance.

*

Festival on Buller rocked. Cave etc. rocked. Dirty Three rocked. The Saints RockRocked. Bands I'd never heard of such as Dead Meadow also rocked. Free chairlift rides rocked. Andromeda 3.4 rocked (and rolled). Perfect weekend.

Melba said...

Sorry catlick for the "castlick" slip. Unintentional and I would have apologised earlier had I not been trawling the "fashion capital of the southern hemisphere" for certain requirements and was away from my internet machine.

Melba said...

PERSEY!

He lives.

But I disagree, I think Pink is way better than alot of the Duran Duran or Kim Wilde, though I did think they were ok. I loved John from DD.

Lewd Bob said...

Jesus. I'm away for five days and you people have achieved nothing.

NOTHING I tells ya!

No revolutions, no resolutions no revolutionary declarations*.

Ah, who cares?

*Unless Perseus' relationship escalates.

catlick said...

Oh. I was being pwescious Melba.

"fashion capital of the southern hemisphere"

And that place would be...? (not that I'm going to go there, seeing as how I'm an afashionable dyke)

Melba said...

Chaddy, don't you know, catlick? At least that's what they like to think. I say it's a mishmash of chrome and cement with too many Matrons wearing pandora bracelets, and too many teen chicks with sculpted side fringes.

The ABC shop rocks though.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

I wasn't aware we were supposed to achieve anything, Bob.

Lewd Bob said...

Quite.

catlick said...

"I say it's a mishmash of chrome and cement"

Sounds like Romanian dentistry.

catlick said...

And speaking of things ABC, in a literal interpretation of the "balance" guidelines, we have "Ali" doing talkback, now followed by "Epstein".