Sports Wrap

By Captain Perseus Kneejerk.

Athletics

Tamsyn Lewis won her 15th National Title on the weekend. FIFTEENTH! And, in winning the 400m Hurdles, it is the third event she has won a national title for (along with the 800m and 400m). Admittedly, there's no way she would have won if Jana Rawlinson/Pittman was not injured, but you can only beat the opponents that turn up on the day. What makes her hurdle win even more impressive is that she only started practising the hurdles a couple of months ago. At age 30, she decides, "Hm, might jump over hurdles." She jumps over them like a retarded reindeer, and still wins the NATIONAL TITLE. I've posted about Tamsyn before and I'll reiterate my point again: She is a magnificent athlete, and has magnificent boobs. One point does not invalidate the other.

Tamsyn Lewis: "Gaw!"




Cricket

McGain. Oh McGain. My heart bleeds. 0/149 from 18 overs. Jesus wept. But equally shamed should be the selectors. There seems to be a global agreement amongst cricket-playing nations that "Yer hafta have a spinner! Yer godda have a spinner!". Why? Surely, you just pick the best four bowlers no matter what they bowl? And anyway, we have Clarke and Katich in the team, who, as predominantly batsmen, happen to be fine exponents of spin bowling on the side. Why didn't they just bring the next best bowler into the team? Or even another batsman, and get Clarke and Katich to share the spin duties?

But even more noteworthy last night was Mitchell Johnson's century. He's a bowler. And, he's almost been the best batsman for Australia in the recent series. Certainly he's the most exciting batsman. Do the established batsmen get embarrassed when they face him in the changerooms later? He's better than them. In fact, the three highest scores in our second inning were posted by two bowlers and the wicket-keeper. Shame, batsmen, shame. Well may you point to McGain - it means you don't have to point to yourselves in the mirror.

Which prompts me to come up with the Perseus XI for the Ashes. A team made up mostly of all-rounders.

PERSEUS XI

Hughes, P
Katich, S
Ponting, R
Clarke, M
White, C
Johnson, M
Haddin, B
McDonald, A
Symonds, A
North, M
Siddle, P

12th Man: Watson, S or Hopes, J.

Mark my words, at full fitness, this team will not be beaten.
NB: No Hussey. He's gawwwwwnnnn.


Andrew Symonds, Mitchell Johnson and Brad Haddin celebrate their selection in the Perseus XI.



Footy

I'm going to the footy Thursday night. Round One. Richmond v Carlton. Cousins v Judd. Richo v Fev. Can't wait. CANNOT WAIT. I've waited since August 2008 for this moment. I love footy. CANNOT WAIT. Round one, my hopes are high, I have nothing but positivity, optimism and confidence for my beloved Tigers' chances this year. The match starts at 7.40pm Thursday. And, as I am a Richmond supporter, and we are the worst performed team of the last 25 years, by 8.10pm I expect to be weeping and moaning, crying into my thermos of coffee, experiencing flashbacks and succumbing to my ongoing Richmond-based PTSD and shall book into therapy Friday morning.

As much as I love footy, at least when the footy isn't on, Richmond isn't losing.

Still, upsets are possible. And if we're ever going to cause an upset, this hopefully will be the one. There is something immensely satisfying about beating Carlton... probably because Richard Pratt is their President (same goes with beating Hawthorn with Jeff Kennett as their President).

Go Tiges.


Ben Cousins: Arrested for crimes against tattoo art.